[Happy-ER-RN]

A couple of us wrote this this morning and had a good time doing it so I thought I would share, now we used the names of our frequent flyers, so I will bleep those out so you can put in the names of your own. If you are a bleeding heart nurse who is easily offended do not read, I will make no exuses for my sick sense of humor...I am quite proud.

EMERGENCY NURSES
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ED
Not a patient was stirring, except ones with VD
The IV’s were hung by the patients with care,
In hopes that (pt. name) would not soon be there.

The nursing home patients nestled snug in their beds,
While multiple emboli danced in their heads.
The maggot man with leg rot,
And (pt. name). with the clap,
Had just settled down for a morphine-induced nap.

When out in the bay there arose such a clatter,
We jumped from our seats to see what the matter.
Away to the stretcher we flew like a flash,
Tore open the pants and observed a ball rash.

They shined and they glistened from the swelling so tight,
The twinkling filled our hearts, with Christmas delight.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a code brown alert, coming right from the REAR!

New linens! New panties! New gown, and new chux!
Poop on patient! On family! On nurses! This sucks!
From the bottom of the bed to the top of the wall,
Now wash away! Wash away! Wash away, all!

We spoke not a word but went straight to our work,
We filled syringes with Haldol, for (pt. name) , the jerk.
She sprang to her feet, to the staff gave a lashing,
And toward her we all flew (like a spider monkey)
To give her a bashing!

But I heard staff exclaim as we drove out of sight,
This has definitely been a 3 kegger night!

[traumaRUs]

tee hee hee!! This is so true!

[TazziRN]

Oohhhhh, I was able to come up with names SO easily!!!

[bethin]

Oh, that is sooo funny. Especially the three kegger night.