[marcicatherine]

This thread is along the lines of patient lingo, but I have to share complaints I have heard this week.

Girl comes in and states "I stopped taking my birth control pills 3 days ago and now i'm bleeding".......

Elderly man chief complaint "I had leg cramps last night and now my bowels are locked up"......huh?

Woman with c/o fever. When asked if she had taken anything for the fever.......she replies "I haven't taken any pills, but i've done all the other things you're supposed to do to bring your fever down. I've drank a coke and some unsweetened tea, I smoked a menthol cigarette, and I cried......but just regular tears. I couldn't make any acid tears"...........(did i miss that day in nursing school?)

[petiteflower]

How about,

PT I have a fever
Nurse Have you taken anything for it?
PT No, I am allergic to pills.
Nurse What kind of pills are you allergic to?
PT All pills, except the ones that are from the doctor.

HUH????????????????????????

Real conversation about 2 weeks ago.

[eak16]

My personal fave:
'I think when I was cleaning the sink i may have gotten drano on my toothbrush and then I may have brushed my teeth with it."

so symptoms whatsoever

[CCU NRS]

about could not cry acid tears...

[ER-RN2]

1. I hit my head 2 months ago and my brother has diabetes .....so why are you here???

2. While coding a patient, asked the husband "does she have any cardiac history?" he responded "well, i had a MI and now I have a pacemaker...Does that help you?"

[athomas91]

i swear this is true.... on my own grave
girl comes to the ed - pregnant at age 16 for the third time
so i decide to give the little "dumba$$ why aren't you on bc pills?"
she says - i am allergic - i say - how do you know you are allergic - she says - well they don't work for me - i say how do you know - she says "my mother got pregnant w/ me while she was on them - so she told me to say that i was allergic because they wouldn't work for me either"

gotta love those parents w/ and IQ of 50 procreating all over the place....

i promptly told the young girl that her mother didn't know her butt from a hole in the ground and to get herself to the health department and get some pills.

[marcicatherine]

Today, man with c/o

"I was sneezed on by a man with lung Cancer and i need to be checked to make sure it ain't catchin"

[mittels]

Thank-you, Thank-you, Thank-you
This story made my day, esp the last one!!!!!!!!!!

[Shed13911]

Sometimes you wonder where some people were when God handed out the brains?

[Spidey's mom]

Ok, this thread sorta proves my point and smiling blue eyes (aka Deb) point about the danger of putting the morning after pill OTC.



Keep em coming . .

steph.
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