[athomas91]

i find it hilarious to hear the things that patients say - believeing that they are using medical terminology correctly...

vomicking = vomiting
incubated = intubated
subdermal hematoma = subdural (that was pretty close though)
injection fraction = ejection fraction
lateration = laceration
mycardio infection = MI

the list goes on and on - what are some of your favorites??

[Medic946RN]

I had a seizure pt tell me he takes peanut butter balls: ie: phenobarbital.

And then theres the family who told me the sad story of one of their neices who was diagnosed with the "smilin' eyes of jesus" : spinal meningitis.

And the pregnant woman who developed "gesticular diabetes". Bet that made her
"gesticles" really tender.

[nialloh]

Or the pt who has a prostrate problem

[MrsWampthang]

when they say they have taken tinol for the fever?

or when the come in complaining of nausee?

The list goes on and on....



Pam

[zudy]

My fav the pt the has coppertone hands-carpal tunnel syndrome. My pt with meningitis told me that she had the smilin' mighty Jesus.

[VivaLasViejas]

I had one patient tell me about her "infernal medicines" doctor.

[VivaLasViejas]

And oh, I've got to share this one from a delightful elderly patient I took care of last night: "SQUIZZLE" (her word for pee). She said when she was growing up, the "3-letter word" was not allowed, and she had used this term throughout her 89 years on earth.

[athomas91]

HAHAHAHA!!!! it is so hard to keep a straight face at times -
had one a few wks ago that "had just had a tubal litigation"

i guess it was on trial......

[V. Nightingale]

I think my personal favorite is "I had to have a hickereckomy cause of my fireball tumors." (Translation: I had to have a hysterectomy because of my fibroid tumors.)

Or, what I actually saw written down on a triage form one night :"Feel like I fin to pass out."

On the other hand, sometimes the patients get us, too. One night there were four of us trying to put a Foley in a 280 lbs AMS due to OD. He was fighting, we were trying to make hime understand, and he was babbling insanely making NO sense at all. One of my coworkers said "Sir, we need to put a tube in your pee-pee!" He raised his head, looked at her, and said totally seriously "It's my penis, ma'am." Five minutes later when we all stopped laughing we DID manage to place the Foley.

[Lalage]

One of my aunts once called to ask me why her doctor would put her on oxygen pills....turns out it was estrogen