[teeituptom]

Had a young boy brought in last night who the parents were freaking out over because he may have
swallowed a quarter, we did an xray to check.

Sure enough he did. It was turned so that on the xray you could see the face. and read the words IN GOD WE TRUST
and the year also.

Made for a very cute picture

[RNin92]

Originally Posted by lesley_girl

I would just have to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the ER stories. I've just applied to a new grad ER program and people say that I will totally get the job. I've been nervous and wondering what kinds of things I'll be experiencing...now I know that there will be at least a little entertainment involved.

Welcome Aboard!!!

And there will be MUCH entertainment involved!!

[teeituptom]

we love entertainment and entertaining

[tmiller027]

I dont' work in an ER, but a cop friend of mine told me of a report he took from an ER.

A gay couple was experimenting with a gerbil. The one bent over, and the other inserted a toilet paper core into his rectum. He then let the gerbil crawl into the core (I guess the core was to prevent claw marks?) Well, once the receiving partner had obtained his climax, he told the other guy to take the gerbil out. Well, by this point it had crawled too far in and he couldn't see it.

So, this guy lights a cigarette lighter to see into his partner's rectum. He didn't realize with his butt held open like that, the methane gas in his partner's stomach was slowly leaking out. Well, it ignited, shot the gerbil out of his partner's rectum, broke the guy's nose and scorched the inside of the other guy's rectum. Hows that for brilliance?

[deliverygirl99]

Originally Posted by tmiller027

I dont' work in an ER, but a cop friend of mine told me of a report he took from an ER.

A gay couple was experimenting with a gerbil. The one bent over, and the other inserted a toilet paper core into his rectum. He then let the gerbil crawl into the core (I guess the core was to prevent claw marks?) Well, once the receiving partner had obtained his climax, he told the other guy to take the gerbil out. Well, by this point it had crawled too far in and he couldn't see it.

So, this guy lights a cigarette lighter to see into his partner's rectum. He didn't realize with his butt held open like that, the methane gas in his partner's stomach was slowly leaking out. Well, it ignited, shot the gerbil out of his partner's rectum, broke the guy's nose and scorched the inside of the other guy's rectum. Hows that for brilliance?

This one has become complete urban legend now. I don't know where the original occured but I heard from a friend who worked the ER at Vandy about 14 years ago. He is a great story teller so I guess I will always believe he saw the original case.

I only worked in the ER for about three years of my career but my favorite ER stories are:
We had a three year old child brought in by the grandmother for c/o a frog bite. Yes that is right folks, she was sure that a frog had bitten the child on the ankle. The ER doc, not seeing any evidence of any trauma whatsoever charted: No lip marks noted. Since when do frogs have lips... oh well we all got a great laugh out of it.

Two AM a 74 year old gentleman and wife come to triage, refuse to tell the nurse what is wrong... we will tell the doctor. To their surprise the ER doc is also female. Seems the urologist had told the man he would have a better erection if he put a vibrator in his bum. Well they let it slip and it of course was sucked in and lost. The wife sits with her head down and a little bit of a smirk through the whole exam and never says a word. Luckily the ER doc was able to grasp the offending object and remove it without the poor guy having to undergo anesthesia. The couple was advised to purchase a vibe that plugs in to the wall so they don't have to worry about losing anything again.

The majority of my time has been in L&D which is not without it's share of funny stories. One of the cutest was when a very proper Ob doc came in to deliver a baby one night, checked the patient and on withdrawing his gloved hand had a black french tickler on his glove which he promptly dropped, it bounced and poor Dr. Smith thought it was a spider (the things that go through your mind when you don't have time to really think) and started screaming and trying to kill it.

[teeituptom]

Originally Posted by tmiller027

I dont' work in an ER, but a cop friend of mine told me of a report he took from an ER.

A gay couple was experimenting with a gerbil. The one bent over, and the other inserted a toilet paper core into his rectum. He then let the gerbil crawl into the core (I guess the core was to prevent claw marks?) Well, once the receiving partner had obtained his climax, he told the other guy to take the gerbil out. Well, by this point it had crawled too far in and he couldn't see it.

So, this guy lights a cigarette lighter to see into his partner's rectum. He didn't realize with his butt held open like that, the methane gas in his partner's stomach was slowly leaking out. Well, it ignited, shot the gerbil out of his partner's rectum, broke the guy's nose and scorched the inside of the other guy's rectum. Hows that for brilliance?

cute story
highly improbable
someone is feeding you a line
but if you cant joke about a couple of pervs
then who can you joke about
another legend

[stretch thin]

One night I have a 42 yr old male come in. C/O chest pain. I do the usually stuff-when did the pain start? What were you doing when it started--and so on.
Next question; have you used an illicit drugs. NO he says. Then turns around and goes into Vtac. Got him back. And then he says, I guess I shouldn't have used that crank. Next pt. 40's yr old female, c/o spider bite on hand. Hand is the size of a cantelope. Track marks up and down her arms and hand. Finally got a IV in her shoulder. I tell her, must have been a big spider that bit ya. Reply sure was. Questioned her about drug use. No I never touch the stuff. Next pt 50's yr old male, c/o abdominal pain. Questioned about cocaine identified on drug screen. I don't do drugs, people smoke it around me. I guess I've got the stupid sign on my forehead.

[veetach]

Originally Posted by teeituptom

cute story
highly improbable
someone is feeding you a line
but if you cant joke about a couple of pervs
then who can you joke about
another legend

this really happens Tom. About 15 years ago it was a big thing in California where I worked, but they used a vacuum cleaner hose instead of a toilet paper roll..... I guess it takes all kinds....


I had a 24 yr old male pt about 6 months ago, came in complaining of a "spider bite" to his right AC. I asked him what he had been injecting in his arm and he totally denied the injection of anything.. Finally the doc told him he might lose his arm and we needed to know what he injected in there so we could treat him... It was VODKA!! He was injecting his veins with vodka, swears he saw this on a movie and "everyone at the party was doing it". He later revealed that they were giving each other vodka enemas too!!!

Where are peoples brains???? maybe up there with that guys vibrator??? LOL

[Marie_LPN, RN]

We had a gerbil incident that involved a PVC pipe last month. Gerbil had to be surgically removed. Pt. was peezed that he couldn't be admitted with a fake name. Well, genius, don't put rodents up your rear, and then you don't have to worry about fake names.

[CAMMIERN]

I AM SURPRISED THAT THE ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS HAVENT PROTESTED TO ALL THE GAY COUPLES SHOVING RODENTS UP THE ARSSESS MAN COULD JST IMAGINE THAT PROTEST