[NativeTexan]

We had a male stripper come in the er several years ago and he had made a "c*** ring out of rubber bands, so that his "bulge" would make him better tips. Unfortunately, he passed out backstage before he ever went on, and noone found him for awhile. His "manhood" was in pretty sad shape when he got to us. So, if you use one, by all means, Stay Conscious!!

[teeituptom]

why did he pass out
not enough blood flow to his head


I better stop there shouldnt I

[NativeTexan]

You got it, Tom!

[CDN RN]

Guys....
this whole topic has had me thinking about life in the ER.
Maybe we should create a pamphlet to give out as people leave....entittled "how to prevent stupid happenings"

I mean really...3 (count em..THREE) C%&$ rings at once.....
sausage as a dildo?
My patient who let a 12 inch long extra wide vibrator slip up his behind...what are these people thinking?

Oh, yeas...there was a learning experience there too........
Q: when you view an X ray of a vibrator stuck inside someone....how can you tell if it is still running?

A: if the object has a clearly distinct outline...it has stopped......if it has a more indistinct "fuzzy" outline...then it's still going strong.

Q: how long can you expect a vibrator to run on fresh batteries?

A: At least 8 HOURS....well it went into the pt at about 10am.....at 6pm when the surgical resident was trying to fish it out she was astounded to feel it vibrating against her tools........that's what I call having "the bunny" inside...it seems energizer batteries do last!

There are so many things we could warn patients NOT to do!! LOL!

[teeituptom]

People do the Darndest things

[soltera]

Originally Posted by teeituptom

Ive seen them but thought they were decorative
Didnt think otherwise
But then I have never had the need I guess
Im over 50 and I still dont have any probs

[RNin92]

Originally Posted by CDN RN

Guys....
this whole topic has had me thinking about life in the ER.
Maybe we should create a pamphlet to give out as people leave....entittled "how to prevent stupid happenings"

I mean really...3 (count em..THREE) C%&$ rings at once.....
sausage as a dildo?
My patient who let a 12 inch long extra wide vibrator slip up his behind...what are these people thinking?

Oh, yeas...there was a learning experience there too........
Q: when you view an X ray of a vibrator stuck inside someone....how can you tell if it is still running?

A: if the object has a clearly distinct outline...it has stopped......if it has a more indistinct "fuzzy" outline...then it's still going strong.

Q: how long can you expect a vibrator to run on fresh batteries?

A: At least 8 HOURS....well it went into the pt at about 10am.....at 6pm when the surgical resident was trying to fish it out she was astounded to feel it vibrating against her tools........that's what I call having "the bunny" inside...it seems energizer batteries do last!

There are so many things we could warn patients NOT to do!! LOL!

And one more for the "PLEASE don't do this" from our "happy little er"...

Don't use a FULL...GLASS...ketchup bottle in any orifice...

And then get it "stuck"!!!

When you go to surgery to have it removed...
And the glass bottle breaks...
And the KETCHUP spills out of your rectum...
The OR crew gets VERY concerned.



You "end up" with a VERY large surgical procedure...
Only to discover that it was ONLY ketchup!!!

Oops!

[RNin92]

Originally Posted by RNin92

And one more for the "PLEASE don't do this" from our "happy little er"...

Don't use a FULL...GLASS...ketchup bottle in any orifice...

And then get it "stuck"!!!

When you go to surgery to have it removed...
And the glass bottle breaks...
And the KETCHUP spills out of your rectum...
The OR crew gets VERY concerned.



You "end up" with a VERY large surgical procedure...
Only to discover that it was ONLY ketchup!!!

Oops!

And a very pi$$ed off OR crew!

[veetach]

Originally Posted by CDN RN

Guys....
this whole topic has had me thinking about life in the ER.
Maybe we should create a pamphlet to give out as people leave....entittled "how to prevent stupid happenings"

I mean really...3 (count em..THREE) C%&$ rings at once.....
sausage as a dildo?
My patient who let a 12 inch long extra wide vibrator slip up his behind...what are these people thinking?

Oh, yeas...there was a learning experience there too........
Q: when you view an X ray of a vibrator stuck inside someone....how can you tell if it is still running?

A: if the object has a clearly distinct outline...it has stopped......if it has a more indistinct "fuzzy" outline...then it's still going strong.

Q: how long can you expect a vibrator to run on fresh batteries?

A: At least 8 HOURS....well it went into the pt at about 10am.....at 6pm when the surgical resident was trying to fish it out she was astounded to feel it vibrating against her tools........that's what I call having "the bunny" inside...it seems energizer batteries do last!

There are so many things we could warn patients NOT to do!! LOL!

and, while we are on the vibrator topic, DONT attempt to remove the vibrator using salad tongs, it causes a very large rectal tear. Your trip to the OR is inevitable now.... The surgeons get really cranky when they have to be called out at 2:00am to remove vibrators.... In this patients case, those batteries were still running when the vibrator was removed in the OR! We decided they must have been Energizers.

[lesley_girl]

I would just have to say that I have thoroughly enjoyed all of the ER stories. I've just applied to a new grad ER program and people say that I will totally get the job. I've been nervous and wondering what kinds of things I'll be experiencing...now I know that there will be at least a little entertainment involved.