[Jeanine]

It's been 15 years but I'll never forget the smell of Kelbasa cooked at 98.6 degrees for 3 days. An attractive woman's husband was out of town for the week on business and she got lonely. She decided that a frozen piece of Kelbasa would suffice except I guess that it thawed before she was done with it. It broke into pieces (because it was so fatty?) and the ERMD had a tough time getting all of the pieces out. Being pregnant, the smell was overwhelming!!! I still can't eat Kelbasa to this day.

[CDN RN]

OK: Here's my favourite story when it comes to reproductive problems and ER.

Woman in her early 20's (or should I say girl) comes to ER VIA AMBULANCE because she was having abdominal cramping and vaginal bleeding.......X 45 minutes. When interviewed she could not tell me when she had her last period. Stated that she had been on depo provera injections for birth control for several years and did not have periods. Then she began to think out loud......oh, yeah....I think I'm over due for my shot......

Anyone want to venture a diagnosis? LOL!!!!

Seems that depo provea not only kept her from reproducing...but erased her memory of what an actual honest to god period was............

we won't talk about how much that diagnosis cost!!!

[Stitchie]

Originally Posted by traumaRUs

A little off the subject, but you guys all know there are some nurses that just attract the nuts!!?? In my case, I just love to care for the drunk and beligerent (sp) and the more obnoxious, the better! Anybody else like this kind of pt???

I do! I do! Must be an Illinois thing!

And while you're at it, bring on the raging psychotics, too. I love treating crazy people. They make me appreciate my relative healthy state of mind!

[RN92]

How AMAZING is crack?
Young lady comes in with chest pain. Urine tests positive HIGH for cocaine.
"I dont do that stuff!!..it must be from when I had sex with my boyfriend - he does it" !! and all this time - no one ever told me you could get it in your system by having sex with someone that does.
Another "gentleman" swore up and down that somebody in the lab was trying to frame him. ..I told him he was right. It was a conspiracy..The whole staff had a meeting this morning on what we could do to make his life more miserable(just in case he came in). He was a frequent flyer..I knew him well.
Another pt asked me if you could "breathe it in - like if someone else was doing it in the same room and the powder got in your nose."
I HAD NO IDEA COCAINE WAS SOOO CONTAGIOUS. ALL OF THESE INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE EXPOSED EVERYDAY WITHOUT ANY FAULT OF THEIR OWN.

[teeituptom]

I was out in triage the other night and this 40 yo guy comes in c/o of a severe HA, assessment unremarkable however b/p 238/142

I ask him how long its been since he took his b/p medicine

pt replies one month

I of course asked why not

pt replies " I cant get it up"

I look at him calmly and say thats not the only thing you wont be able to get up if you stroke out. from not taking your meds.

completely over his head

so to speak

[Carotid]

32 y/o female ran into my triage office with a c/o "i have genital herpes." vs were obtained and normal, afebrile, non-toxic appearing. denied urinary s/s, vag. d/c or bleeding. last menstrual cycle was 2 weeks ago, denied being pregnant. i then asked her if she had open sores on her genitalia. she responded, "no." i was puzzled, "no? genital herpes?" i then asked her to describe what she meant by genital herpes. she responded, "well, i had this sore in my mouth. i don't have any sores on my privates." as serious as i could be, i then asked her how long the oral ulcer had been there. she replied, "2 days, but it went away 2 days ago!" WELL WHATYA DOIN' IN MY EMERGENCY ROOM? "well i just wanted to be checked out." "do you have an ob/gyn?" "yeah, but couldn't get in until tomorrow." "OOOOOOOOOK, let's get you registered." 32 years of ignorance on her part was not going to be done away with in 5 minutes in my office.

Carotid

[Carotid]

another one for the darwins. . . .

it's not too often we get ice/snow down here in sc. 2 weeks ago we did. ems brought in a 20 y/o male with burns to his abd and groin from. . . .

"well, there was ice on my front steps and i needed to get out, so i took a pot of boiling water and was gonna pour it down the steps. i took the first step, slipped, and. . . . ."

Carotid

[Stitchie]

Originally Posted by Carotid

another one for the darwins. . . .

it's not too often we get ice/snow down here in sc. 2 weeks ago we did. ems brought in a 20 y/o male with burns to his abd and groin from. . . .

"well, there was ice on my front steps and i needed to get out, so i took a pot of boiling water and was gonna pour it down the steps. i took the first step, slipped, and. . . . ."

Carotid

Darwin's for a reason!

[veetach]

heres a good one, a 30'ish male comes into the triage bay and wont tell me what his complaint is. He keeps saying "I will tell the dr". I tell him he needs to let me know, and after several minutes of coaxing he says "I have problems in mans land"... ????? uh ok... I put him back and tell the doc, who goes in and comes out with a look of astonishment on his face. It seems this guy was injecting his penis with something he bought off of the internet and now he has a roaring case of cellulitis, along with a very swollen penis and occluded urethral meatus! OWWWWWW!!!

[RNin92]

Originally Posted by veetach

heres a good one, a 30'ish male comes into the triage bay and wont tell me what his complaint is. He keeps saying "I will tell the dr". I tell him he needs to let me know, and after several minutes of coaxing he says "I have problems in mans land"... ????? uh ok... I put him back and tell the doc, who goes in and comes out with a look of astonishment on his face. It seems this guy was injecting his penis with something he bought off of the internet and now he has a roaring case of cellulitis, along with a very swollen penis and occluded urethral meatus! OWWWWWW!!!

You know, unitl I worked ER I never realized how many men were upset with their "private parts"!!

Your story reminds of our own darwin award seeker...
young guy with not 1...

not 2...

but 3 (!!!!!!) titanium "C-rings" on his "private part"...

Funny enough...he was having just a heck of a time removing them (go figure!)

Titanium however, is QUITE the metal...

Yes...our little friend got to show off his "intelligence" not just to the ER, but the OR crew, medical imaging, the med/surg staff...
Quite the "little" overachiever!!