[hollysunshine]

Stomack ack
Massive fever of 100.8
I'm sick. Really really sick.

But my all time favorite (in fact we kept a photo-copy)
"My ***** on fire and I have hair on the tongue in my mouth."

[teeituptom]

I had a young "lady" sign in the other night, after driving herself to the ER.

cc " Im Blind"

Diagnosis. She put both her contacts in the same eye after doing some crack

can we guess her hair color

[hollysunshine]

Originally Posted by acutecarenp

"don't take my blood pressure in that arm!!!.. I got di-a-been-is in that arm!"

"I ran out of dioxin and latex"

"my cousin got the screamin-moanin' Jesus...(spinal meningitis)..and I wanna get checked out"

Nurse: "Are you sexually active?"
Patient: "Well.. I think I am...but my boyfriend says I just lay there."

I thought I was the only one who knew about "smile oh mighty Jesus" (spinal meningitis)

[missboo622]

Years ago, someone wrote "Hurt risk" - "wrist injury"

[Bolts]

I had a mate who was checking for a possible # of a patients finger, she was using a tuning fork. she wrote the notes as " Checked for # using the vibrating stick, finger NAD"


Bolts

[teeituptom]

Originally Posted by Bolts

I had a mate who was checking for a possible # of a patients finger, she was using a tuning fork. she wrote the notes as " Checked for # using the vibrating stick, finger NAD"


Bolts

Actually that works, we used to that a lot in the old days

[Jen2]

Some of my favs so far:

"My downstairs hurts" Came from a 29 year old man.

"I have helicopters flying around in my stomach and it hurts" Pt. had H-pylori infection.

"Son is incoragable" Pt. brought his 23 year old son in for bad behavior.

[Bolts]

Yes it works well, we still use it here too (obviously) it's just her description of a tuning fork that made me laugh.

Originally Posted by teeituptom

Actually that works, we used to that a lot in the old days

[JustaPatient]

well i guess atleast he was honest...right?

Originally Posted by bemory

I work on a Cardiac floor.. I asked my patient what activity he was doing when he experienced chest pain.. He replied ummm it was either cocaine or crack.

[Audreyfay]

Sweet little kindergarten girl: My testicles hurt. (She had heard the word intestines and got it mixed up!)

I've never heard of people signing in. You mean there is no receptionist to take down information? That sets the poor patient up for failure. Even some of my relatives who have double Masters degrees in Engineering could make some of those mistakes. Hmmm? Maybe we do things different in the Midwest?