[Dixielee]

I had one sign in last night with "walking ammonia". I guess he could have cleaned the windows and floors while he waited!

We had another last night, who had a "slashed penis". His girlfriend had gotten a piercing in a delicate spot...they were trying it out for the first time and OUCH!! He ended up having stiches in a delicate spot!! So much for experimentation!

[ERRN1028]

My favorite~ " I fought the wall and the wall won" (hit a wall~broken hand)

I used to save the complaint part of the slip for fun, but then I thought I might go to hell for making fun...haha

[mhull]

I had a patient this morning that the triage nurse though was so funny, she had wrote, "I feel like every bone in my bone is giving birth"......OUCH!!!

[laurakoko]

slip read- "I got sugar today"

She had diabetes, and meant her blood sugar was elevated....

[Carotid]

somethin's always up with those, "i just want to talk to the doctor" c/o. 9 times out of 10 it's been those daggum rectal f/b from slippin' out of the bath tub.

[newfloridaRN]

"barfing diarrhea"

[veetach]

here are a few that come to mind. Sometimes our triage nurses have to be experts at keeping a straight face too.

"glubber prumbles" (gallbladder problems)

"stomack ake"

"I am her to have my told checkd" (I still dont know what this was, the patient had abdominal pain)

I could add to this list daily. lol

[missmercy]

Originally Posted by imagin916

I once had a slip that said "Has questions about enlargement".

When we called him into triage he stated that his girlfriend told him that his penis was too small and that he wanted to talk to a doctor about getting a penile implant.

I guess that COULD be considered an emergency -- depends on who you talk to!

[missmercy]

As a camp nurse -- was on duty for a teen snow camp -- Kid walks into my office and announces that he had been out on the sledding hill, took a jump and "passed away" at the bottom of the hill. Turns out he wasn't dead after all (SURPRIZE!) had been momentarily unconscious.... OH!! PASSED OUT at the bottom of the hill!!!!

Another good camp one -- was when the kid came in with an "itchy thing" -- tried to get some more detailed description -- found out the "itchy thing" was caused by poison ivy on an appendage that shouldn't have been out in the woods!!! (Actually, had Poison ivy on his backside too -- was on a hike -- had to relieve himself and used leaves to clean up -- OOPS! Wrong leaves!!)

[traumakimmy]

rectal humor is always funny.

my personal fav. "i got out of the shower and got hungry. it was early and no one else was up so i snuck outside and slipped in the garden and that is how the zucchini got stuck up there"

another classic was a man in his 70's said he was at work and developed diarrhea. so not wanting to leave work decided to stick a lightbulb (big end first) into his bum so that he could finish his shift. after the xray he decided to sign out AMA. we all thought he'd be back within hours "but" he never did.