[Kingbandit]

Originally Posted by Stitchie

Once again, stupidity/ETOH = job security!

So true So true

I work in a level one trauma center in Ohio Here are my top three:

3) Deer hunter falls from Tree stand only injury is torn scrotum and bruised ego from buddies who had to carry him out of the woods.

2) 4 drunks with 8 missing fingers amongst them. Hedge needed trimmed so they lifted the mower

And #1) :hatparty: Man who was smoking crack in an abandoned house when he heard sirens so he jumped out of the second story window only to bust both ankles and in time to see the cops speed past chasing a speeder. He layed there another 6 hours until found.

ETOH + Stupidity = Job security and many great stories

[txnrobin]

[RNin92]

Well, this being summer...

There's always some yahoo who decides that the best way to get a bonfire started is with a little accelerant (AKA Gasoline)...and himself.

Or the very brilliant chef who decides that the brats aren't cooking fast enough...and adds accelerant (AKA Gasoline) to the grill...and himself.

And let's not forget the thrifty do-it-yourselfer-fireworks-maker!

Of course NONE of these people become quite so brilliant until after the beer starts flowing.

Oh, I almost forgot my favorite campfire story...
Dad camping with the family...
Few beers too many...
Few brain cells missing...
Small campfire...
Nearby campers have a blazing fire...
Yahoo dad wants his that way, too...
(Are ya still with me?!!?)
Adds accelerant (you guessed it)...
Fire WAY beyond blazing...
No water (go figure)
Tries to put it out with the only liquid he can find...
The beer...
Oops.
C'mon in my little friend...here's your sign.

Ahhhhh...summer in the ER...the stories are infinite!!

[marzzs]

We had a guy come into casualty with a vibrator stuck in his rectum. When they couldn't remove it he came upto OR to have quick GA. When we removed it we found it was still buzzing!! As it turns out he was one of our nursing students!! Neddless to say we never saw him again.....

[Ruby Vee]

[SIZE=3]Blazing fires, accelerant and ETOH -- what a combo!

Reminds me of my honeymoon with my first husband. We were camping next to a river, and had a nice, romantic camp fire going. Idiot First Husband decided he wanted a BIG, ROARING fire. (Something equal to his perception of his manliness, I suppose.) There he stood with his can of charcoal starter . . . I saw him from across two campsites (I had gone to the outhouse) and shouted for him to stop. Too late -- he was already squirting. The line of fire followed the charcoal starter back to the can in his hands, and WHOOSH! He dropped the can an instant before it burst into flame, and there he stood, clothes blazing. I was already running toward him, tackled him and shoved him into the river where he nearly drowned because he was afraid of the water and had never learned to swim. After I dragged his sorry butt OUT of the river, his brand new jacket was in tatters and his eyebrows and mustache were singed as was his mass of hair (this was in the 70s). But miraculously, he wasn't burned. As long as we were together, he insisted that he had everything under control until I tried to DROWN him.[/size]

[teeituptom]

Boys will be boys

[mrdoc2005]

Had a teen girl andher boyfriend come into the ER with a polish sausage stuck in her and when ever they tried to get it out it would just break off. The conversation at the desk was why they needed the sausage.

[Farkinott]

from experience.................

You only ever chuck petrol on the fire once!

[alyca]

A few years ago, my dad was up late on Christmas eve putting the final touches on some gifts from 'santa claus' for my 9-year-old sister. This involved using super glue to attach various things together. He was using an old bottle of super glue, and it was clogged, so he squeezed it a little to try to get the clog out, and ended up squirting it into his eyes! He instinctively reached up to wipe it out of his eyes and ended up with both eyes super glued shut and his fingers glued to his eyes. After a quick call to poison control, he headed over to the local ER, where they irrigated him with a ton of saline and eventually got his fingers free and his eyes opened. What a Christmas!

[ZAHMAN]

Sexual experiences in the ICU.
I had a young lady with a cervical injury who was also hypersexual. Well, she rang her call light when her nurse was busy so I went into her room. I asked her what she needed, to my surprise she replied " I want you to F*$# me". With a straight face I replied, "Thats not appropriate". Being quick witted as she was she replied, "Your right, will you make love to me". I had no reply after that, just a good laugh.

ZAHMAN