[teeituptom]

must have irritated someone

[teeituptom]

There was this guy
he wanted to steal the eagle from the top of the flag pole
he slowly climbed up
unscrewed the bird
slid rapidly down the pole in his excitement
the little hooks you secure the flag ropes to
ripped through his pants
and through his scrotum

try explaining that one to everyone

and then get arrested by the police for Grand theft of the eagle thingee

[Jay-Jay]

This one made the Darwin Awards. A couple of men were driving in their truck at night on a poorly lit country road, when the lights quit working. It was a blown fuse. One of them got the idea of replacing the fuse with the cartridge from a rifle bullet. The bullet fitted the fuse socket just fine, and they continued their merry way home....

until the bullet exploded, and hit the driver in the scrotum!

Needless to say, he lost control of the truck, and they wound up in the ditch!

When the wife of the driver found out about her husband's injury, her first question was: "Is the truck all right?"

Don't like to stereotype, but d'ya think this just MIGHT have happened in the South, where every red-blooded male drives around with a rifle or shotgun behind the driver's seat in his truck? And trucks are just as much of a religion as guns?

[2ndgenerationnurse]

floating the ER one night when a young man came in with his eyelid glued shut ;O(
seems his wife would put his eye drops in for him at night and had her bottle of nail adhesive next to his eye drops!!! he wasn't very forgiving , though his wife could not have felt worse ... we just wondered why the big boy couldn't have put in his own eye drops!!!

[CHATSDALE]

MICHAELSSS...lol just wondering if the kitchen is one of your favorite places now

[CCU NRS]

Originally Posted by 2ndgenerationnurse

floating the ER one night when a young man came in with his eyelid glued shut ;O(
seems his wife would put his eye drops in for him at night and had her bottle of nail adhesive next to his eye drops!!! he wasn't very forgiving , though his wife could not have felt worse ... we just wondered why the big boy couldn't have put in his own eye drops!!!

That is probably what his wife thought and I bet he does his own now LOL

[Snowy]

A nominee for "funniest" injury...

women came in with cc of nipple pain. Turns out she decided to get her nipples pierced for her 65th birthday. Considering the age and nature of the complaint, everyone thought it was quite amusing

[RNin92]

I have a cpouple of favorites to add...

50 y/o male comes in for amputated fingers.
Seems he was trying to prune his shrubs with the push mower.
Brought his 15 y/o son with him...
Son was holding up the other side of the mower.
Hmmmm...who thought THAT was a good idea?!!?

Then of course there are the numerous "suicide attempt:...
Guy who tried to hang himself...using the shower curtain rod
Girl who tried to slash her wrists...with a pen
Guy who tried to OD...forgot to refill his scripts
Guy who tried to die of CO poisoning in his garage...tube fell out of car
Then I had a very pathetic 16 y/o...
Tried to hang himself in the backyard...branch broke
Tried to off himself in the garage...ran out of gas
Tried to strip naked and lay in the snow in woods and die of exposure...found by a hunter
Told this kid...it is just NOT your time son!

[Ruby Vee]

A friend of mine was doing his first night of internship on an ER rotation in Kansas. There was a thunderstorm that night -- thunder and lightning lighting up the sky! He was at the reception desk of the ER, staring at the rain through the sliding glass doors. A lightning bolt lit up the parking lot, and he saw an incredibly macbre sight! A man came walking through the rain, carrying a limp, unconscious woman. But the truly bizarre thing was he appeared to have a hatchet protruding from his skull.

Yup! The guy got all likkered up and decided to try his hatchet-throwing skills by throwing at a target affixed to a cement wall in his basement. The hatchet hit the wall, bounced back, and embedded the sharp edge in the guy's skull. Frightened, he went upstairs to get his wife to drive him to the ER. She took one look at him and passed out. So he picked her up and put her in his pick-up truck to drive her to the ER.

Seems that the hatchet went right between the two lobes. It was successful removed and the guy was discharged without any discernable brain damage. (And ADDITIONAL brain damage!)

[RNin92]

Originally Posted by Ruby Vee

A friend of mine was doing his first night of internship on an ER rotation in Kansas. There was a thunderstorm that night -- thunder and lightning lighting up the sky! He was at the reception desk of the ER, staring at the rain through the sliding glass doors. A lightning bolt lit up the parking lot, and he saw an incredibly macbre sight! A man came walking through the rain, carrying a limp, unconscious woman. But the truly bizarre thing was he appeared to have a hatchet protruding from his skull.

Yup! The guy got all likkered up and decided to try his hatchet-throwing skills by throwing at a target affixed to a cement wall in his basement. The hatchet hit the wall, bounced back, and embedded the sharp edge in the guy's skull. Frightened, he went upstairs to get his wife to drive him to the ER. She took one look at him and passed out. So he picked her up and put her in his pick-up truck to drive her to the ER.

Seems that the hatchet went right between the two lobes. It was successful removed and the guy was discharged without any discernable brain damage. (And ADDITIONAL brain damage!)

Yes...but how was the wife?!!!?
LOL!!!