[Nurse Ratched]

I don't even want to think about the numerous stupid injuries we see in our college clinic, especially after big campus events (guaranteed a sheepish grin and a 'yes' to my standard question, "Just out of curiosity, was alcohol involved?") Burns in strange places and sprains of unknown origin are the most popular.

[ClimbingNurse]

75 y/o homeless schizophrenic male addmitted through the ED for a sacral fracture caused by (and I'm quoting the chart) "low velocity collision with very large bus."

He'd had "a couple beers."

[NurseyBaby'05]

This is a family tale as oppossed to a work tale. When I was in high school my mom ruptured the tendon on her middle finger. Of course it was Christmas Eve night and we couldn't miss Mass. She must have forgotten that it was splinted straight up and was giving everybody the bird as she walked back from Communion. My brother and I were purple trying not to laugh. Mom's face looked like this when we told her. We, of course, looked like this: It's now a classic story passed down to the kids!

[MichaelSSSS]

About 10 years ago my wife and I were getting a bit frisky in the kitchen and we were both naked. She grabbed for my special purpose and by pure reflexes I jumped away and caught my scrotum – that’s right – scrotum, on a kitchen cabinet and tore a small hole in it. Well, thinking I would never have any more children, I called the ER and told the nurse what had happened. I could tell she was trying no to laugh and told me there was nothing she could do unless I came in. So I did. After a few pokes and prods I was sent home with nothing more than a bandage. A small bandage at that. Needless to say once my wife reported my ER trip to the relatives I got ALL KINDS of testicular jokes! But, everything’s fine now. The boys healed well.

[finchertwins]

Oh where to start, my family used to call me the walking accident. It was so true, I wont tell them all but here is the highlights from my adventures. When I was 6yo christmas time just got a new pair of pants went to try them on w/o underwear and you guessed it zipped up beans and frank(line stolen from something about mary), my family still laughs about that, then I had the time I had just "fixed" the brakes on my bike, should have known better then to go down a hill with a tree at the bottom, 18 stiches, 3 broken bones, 2 missing teeth. Then there was that time I rode a sled down a hill right into a rose bush(that hurt). thats enough for now.

[Mandarella]

A guy 20years old came into the ER, he and his girlfriend were "playing" around on the couch...he rolled off and fell straight down on his "member." Apparently he was a little excited to be play fighting with his girlfriend...it worked against him, according to the attending-he "fractured" it. Poor guy.

[NurseyBaby'05]

Originally Posted by Mandarella

A guy 20years old came into the ER, he and his girlfriend were "playing" around on the couch...he rolled off and fell straight down on his "member." Apparently he was a little excited to be play fighting with his girlfriend...it worked against him, according to the attending-he "fractured" it. Poor guy.

I say again OOOOOOOOOOH!

[DG5]

Well, we have some stories - my dad was a doctor in the Congo many years ago. He said a woman brought her baby to his clinic one day with a big dent in his head. A coconut fell out from the tree she was nursing him under and hit the baby's head. My dad said he pushed and prodded a little around the dent and pop! It made a popping sound and the skull popped up just like a ping pong ball and they went home happy.

When he worked in Africa, A man arrived in the clinic with a large kitchen knife in the top of his head right up to the hilt. He just came in the waiting room and sat down in the chair to wait his turn, quite alert and content to wait! I've seen the photo - my dad happened to have a camera with him that day. Unbelievable! He managed to get it out and the man was none worse for the wear.

[IamRN]

Originally Posted by DG5

When he worked in Africa, A man arrived in the clinic with a large kitchen knife in the top of his head right up to the hilt.

Woo dude! How did that happen?

[DG5]

As far as I remember, he said it was in a fight, and he basically had to pull it out under desperate conditions in a remote third world situation! Fortunately this worked! I'll have to ask him again just exactly how that knife went in without harming the patient's brain!