[oneillk1]

Originally Posted by Cute_CNA

I think from the get-go patients and their families need to be informed of what is appropriate behavior towards staff. If a family member becomes abusive, they should be removed by security.

I also think there needs to be mass education that the purpose of a nurse is not to be a doormat or someone to abuse.

I fully agree with this - if people (not the patients) are impeding a nurse's ability to do their job (be it physically or mentally) they should be removed from the nurse's workplace. End of discussion.

I think there should also be mass education for the public that there will be people more sick than them in hospital. They should be prepared to wait a long time. If they get seen quickly with a small injury (for example) that is their good luck!

[rntraveler]

We had a loud and demanding pt on dialysis years ago. Drawing on my psych background, I correctly guessed that he was afraid of dying (not an unreasonable fear as he had lost both legs to diabetic complications and was on dialysis and unstable). Once this was passed on to other staff,he suddenly became very pleasant and reasonable. I think the staff became more reassuring and less defensive. That might have been a factor with the loud Mom-perhaps she was very afraid of what trouble her daughter might get into and realized that she was no longer able to control her daughter.Oh,there is psych in every department of the hospital!!

[carlarn]

"Other side of the coin" stories... Hmmm.
Well it had to have been when I suffered a broken nose--work related--and I was working in the ED as a nurse at that time. I was hit in the nose by an errant suction cannister (long story) and when I tried to get my colleagues to cover for me so I could go home, it was a slow day, not a one of them would help me. I eventually went home an hour early (why bother?). I returned to the ED for follow up and to write an incident report at my supervisor's insistance. I had to see the ED doc and have an X-Ray. I triaged myself, took myself to radiology and wrote my own discharge instructions. My supervisor felt the need to discuss my ED behavior with me. I told her that my colleagues didn't feel the need to care for me when I asked for it so why should I bother to let them care for me at all? Wrong answer.

[sayitgirl]

I left medical nursing and went into psych...and left the grief behind....

[bgh68]

First, congratulations on controling your temper under such nasty circumstances. Way to go. Tag teaming another nurse when dealing with this kind of nutty situation sometimes works but you did great to maintain the patients safety and walk away. What would be great would be to talk briefly to the family calmly, in control and empathetic (this takes some experience in acting!) and firmly let them know that there is a minimum level of behavior of family here, that of course this is a difficult and stressful time for them. "you came here for us to help and we certainly will help and we need your cooperation." You may need to advance to "we will not tolerate..." If you can't at that moment do it, get someone who will. Above all, do not loose your enthusiam for nursing because of someone who acts like that. Remember you see people at their worst and some of them don't even have a decent "best" behavior. Calling security escalates the situation, save it for extreme, extreme times. Remember those people in the past who made your day! We have to be careful not to sink to the rude persons level, really, and use words like "you better...", or anything threatening in the least. There are emtala, cobra issues !!!!!, rude patient or not. Let it roll off your back and be thankful they're not your family or friends!!!!!

[justlisa3928]

Wow,

The only advice that I can give to you (and it is always easier to give advice when you weren't the one that was emotionally impacted by the situation), would to be to try to put it behind you, because there are people in the world who are truly not happy and would do anything to bring you to their level. You are only hurting yourself to keep emotions bottled up inside over someone who probably would like nothing better then for you to react in this way. She is probably the reason her 16 year old daughter drinks alcohol, and gets drunk, to try to drown her emotions that her mother makes her feel.

You can not control how people act or treat other people, but you can attempt to control your own emotions, just being in the nursing profession requires a lot of positive emotional stability, please don't let a few individuals who are ignorant and negative to so much in life, keep you from staying positive and compassionate. Hang in there and forget about her, I'm sure there are quite a few who have already done so, including her family.

This is why she is probably so unhappy herself. Misery loves company.

Originally Posted by Happy-ER-RN

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[bgh68]

One quick note- after 35 years of workingas a RN, the standard is 2 attempts for veni[uncture or IV start, then have someone else perform the skill.

[carlarn]

I also admire your ability to walk away. It isn't easy trying to maintain composure when there are evil people in your face. The one thing you can take away from this experience is you did not stoop to Bride of Satan's level and respond to her in a negative way.

Kudos and props!!:hatparty:

[wrestlingmom6355]

As someone stated have the parents leave the room. I realize a minor is involved but if a parent is getting in the way of helping and caring for her then ask her to leave. I am sure she would dispute that but then that is when the supervisor needs to take over. The girl apparently got what she wanted, attention. But unfortunately I have seen it the other way, my son being the patient. To make a long story short when my son was 3 1/2 he got his tonsils out and due to medical condition he needed to get fresh frozen plasma every 12 hours for 5 days. This was outpatient and they saved this one certain room for him. Day 3 my husband arrived at the hospital at 0730 to have it infused at 0800 and was mistreated horribly by a nurse. After waiting an hour and half and went and asked the nurse if he would be getting his infusion soon and she was the most snotting, mean person stating to him that they did not know he was going to be there (apparently was not put on the "board" even though this was planned out for 5 days) and she had other patients and would get to him when she got to him. My husband has never been so angry and so close to hitting a women in his life. So I think this lesson can be learned on both ends and just think, this was a bad experience but will make you a better nurse because of it.

[Travduck]

We encounter the same attitude in family members daily in OB, (and worse). There are several ways to get around this wondrous yuck: 1) move to Arizona where abuse of health personnel is a felony I hear, 2) write poison poetry and keep under lock and key, 3) carry a tape recorder and "smile" as you "request" the person to record all their requirements for your practice of the nursing arts and tell them "politely" that this way you can refer to their "expertise" now and in the future. Better yet go to your manager and tell her that their is an unreasonable patient or family member and that you feel that the best interests of the unit would be served if she would either take over the patient or accompany you to distract the complaintant so that you can get your work done.