[Janlynn]

I feel your pain--I work in the ED and met the most evil lady and her son Lucifer the other night. We were ungodly busy that night and she came in for a cough--well we had a limp baby barely breathing rushed in by his father so the lady with the cough was sent into the hallway on the stretcher so this baby could have her room--well she wasn't happy at all, she claimed she'd been a nurse for 30 years and had never been treated as bad as we were treating her--even after I tried to explain why she was moved in the hall she looked me straight in the eye and said in the meanest voice "I seen why I was moved here"--it was a freakin' baby and this lady DID NOT care.

Soon after we got her a room--she jumped me for not helping her move her belongings to the new room which she was able to carry on her own, she's there for a cough--not broken arms! She was just the rudest person I have ever come across--I stayed away from her and her room and she kept sending her crazy son out--the kid was at least 10 and he was just as mean, he would look at people's nametags and report back to his mom, he would wonder around the dept and report back to her. I sent a tech in to get her vitals and she argued with the tech about her pulse--saying she got a different number than her. She then told the tech that I was holding on to her chart so the doctor couldn't come in and see her.

The lady was just plain nasty! After the doctor seen her he had ordered a duoneb--I went in to tell her I had paged RT--she refused the neb tx and said she wanted to leave, I said after all of this you're just going to leave without tx?? She ended up leaving without the tx and I managed to get her some Rx's before she left. She ended up apologizing profusely for the way she was acting, I know she must have felt like a louse. The apology was hardly worth it for the terror she and her son put me and the other staff through. It's not like we drug her by the arm and made her come into our ED. I had to stay away from her--each time I would go in there she would say the meanest things--I could feel myself getting pushed to my limit, so I just stayed away from her and her room.

[martiforlife]

For me, since I can only take so much crap and if I feel that way about a family member, I ask them to leave since they are preventing me from doing my job. Like you said, there were other family members there & I have no problem if the family really doesn't like me. You'll have that once in awhile....

[Dalzac]

Man, that women has sisters here. In our ED we have the say so,period. I have called security and had sweet mother escorted to the waiting area because the chairs are so much more comfortable. And the only person they can go to is the Docs who mandate the security escort. They are given the consent to treat to read for their reading pleasure and are always told that if they can chill they can come back

[Gompers]

I deal with parents like that sometimes. It's all about control, I think. They have no control over their child's medical condition, so they try and obtain control wherever they can. Add anger, fear, denial, and frustration to that, and you have a very unhappy parent. I can't really blame them, though. But when they start acting like that - dramatic, controlling, critical - I just try and stay level-headed. I am very firm with them and while sometimes it just upsets them more, most of the time it works well.

I remember a set of parents who were so upset that their baby was in our NICU. They didn't like our hospital and their baby got progressively worse upon arrival, so they blamed us for everything. I laid down the law, explained everything that was going on, and when they got dramatically upset, I'd calmly tell that we were doing whatever we had to do to help their baby. I felt like I was talking down a suicidal jumper at times, keeping my voice level and soothing, yet strong in my words. After that first shift, I ended up being assigned that baby's primary, because by that point I was the only one they wanted to deal with. Now, this was an extreme situation, but it just goes to show that when you stand your ground, show them who's boss, and remind them that you are dedicated to caring for their child...it works pretty well.

[southern_rn_brat]

I went in to draw blood on a pt recently and her husband was standing over her like a hawk. He proceeds to tell me "there was only 3 nurses in the entire hospital that could stick her" (I am in a rehab/nursing home). I had had it! I told him" ya know, when you tell a nurse something like that, it has the tendency to make her very nervous...I havent even stuck her yet" (of course I got it on the first try too and looked at him and said Make that 4 nurses)

and yesterday...I enter a room to draw a lab and the womans son doesnt even let me but my lab tray down before saying "you must use a small needle, her veins roll, dont hurt her, you only get one chance" I smiled as sweetly as I could and said "would you like to do it?"

[ClaireMacl]

I guess we are lucky in my ED because anyone under 18 who comes in intoxicated, having self harmed, overdosed or anything of that sort automatically gets referred to paediatrics and admitted. Granted, that wouldn't have stopped the rediculous behaviour of this mother, but at least that child would have had a psychiatric and social evaluation before discharge.

Sounds like complete hell what you went through!

[LeahJet]

It's about time for someone to pipe in with the inevitable "other side of the coin" and tell of their most horrid experience in the ER (as a patient)...

[DapperRN]

WOW! I tell ya, I love ER but after I've worked a few shifts I can't wait to get back to ICU where my patient is on a vent (I know it sounds brutal but its true). My tolerance for that kind of garbage lasts about three seconds. I love it when some family member attempts to educate you on IV starts. I usually say "believe it or not I have started these before, but thanks" it typically shuts them up. Or if they are really irritating I say "really, ok good I've never started one before" (and if you sound really serious it shuts them up for a few seconds) I know that's not what nurse educators would like to call therapeautic but hey, so far its diffused some pretty tense situations. Ya after that shift I might have picked up an application at McDonalds on the way home.

[hollykate]

Yeah. A lot of bad behavior seems to focus on IV's. This thread has made me feel better about recent behavior in the ED. I agree with Gompers. Lots of behavior has to do with needing to control situations. I usually do a lot of listening and then spend a lot of time looking for an IV site.

Recenlty I had a women I had to stick twice. The first time I really missed like a champ. I'm still sure the vein was there, why I couldn;t get into it I don't know. I then went to the other arm and found a decent vein that I could lodge a 22g in (only...) The son told me that I should call the IV team...I had to explain we are the IV team. Luckily I got it because after I finished her treatment, I was told he is one of the smarmiest personal injury lawyers in the area. Glad I didn't know that ahead of time!

Sometimes I wonder what it is like to have a job where it is not regualr practice to get shouted at by people....

[teeituptom]

When it comes to people like that, you need to remember not to let it get personal for you. For me I just smile sweetly and talk slowly and softly, while inside Im imagining inserting 24 fr foleys and rectal tubes into them at the same time. Yes its a control issue whether on the patients behalf or that of some family member who is trying to exert control over their impotency at the time.

If there are any patients I truly dislike they would be Republicans, Lawyers, sport figures, and most of all journalists, particularly journalists.