[msc555]

Hello Happy
We have this same problem in North West Western Australia, the only solution I think is to request the family to leave, ably assisted by the police if necessary or your orderly. When they realise that the patient will not be treated until they are compliant, they may come around.
Its a sad comment on our society that this happens, we are supposed to have a zero tolerance policy here, which is then up to the individual nurse to decide what they consider 'acceptable abuse'.
I hope you feel better now, cheers M

[nurse_icai]

wow.. as a student nurse, i haven't experienced dealing with a pts relative like this yet during my duty inside the ER, but i know, someday, chances are high that i will probably will. reading upon your experiences gives me ideas on how to deal with these kind of people. correct me if i'm wrong but based on what i've learned, your allowed 3 attempts to insert an iv on a pt, then if you still doesn't hit the spot, give it some rest before attempting again, right? that woman is surely outraged that time. i don't know if i will be able to handle it, but i would have done the same (excuse myself out of the room) to avoid more conflict. or maybe, if you do not want to deal with unruly relatives/guardians like them, try being the OR nurse instead. chances of dealing with them are not that high, unlike in the ER.

btw, happy new year to all and goodluck to all of us!

[firstaiddave907]

Originally Posted by TennNurse

Amen. Maybe they can sign an agreement to such when they sign the "Consent to be treated" form at the front desk.

i agree thats a great i dea when the pactiens family sighs the consent to be treat it also states that if the pacitesn family gets in the way of the doctor or the nurse from performing a procidure than it sats security has the right to escort them to the waiting room then if they keep it up then they get escotred out of the hosptial it could be like a time oout for the family and the guards tell them you not allowed back for atleaast 15 minutes and at that time you will be able to come back in the hosptial and the room if the pacient isnt too server but if its a realy bad case then it might have to be looked at in a different way.

[mydesygn]

Originally Posted by Happy-ER-RN

0

After 14 years of pediatrics, I welcome you to the overbearing mother and babied child. I have met them many times over my years in pediatrics. Almost always the same profile: let me guess - white, upper middle class, many family members, child shows little or no respect for her parent, patronizung tone and attitude. Sorry about the racism but I can see them in my head. I have discovered the best technique is (1) don't take it personally, I guarantee any nurse would have recieved that treatment, (2) look her straght in the eye and be kind but matter of fact and say "I will start your child's IV, It may take more than one attempt but they will need to be still and I will have another staff member hold and you can comfort her (do not let them hold) and (3) if you fail, state you can have another staff member try - if they said no, they can talk to the doctor. The key is to be calm and matter of fact. Do not allow them to dictate how you perform the procedure -- you are the professional.

[unknown99]

Originally Posted by Happy-ER-RN

Oh no, she WANTED the police called, she demanded it. She wanted everyone in the world to come see her and her huge overdramatic situation and what a good mom she is for bringing her drunk child to the ER. She brought a teddy bear for the girl. Yes, she is 16 years old.

Man, you were right!!! She wants her own attitude and behavior to be noticed, yet she rewards her daughter for behavior that should be punished!!!

[ToryAdore]

You did great in just walking away. I'm sure I would have said something (as I left to find another nurse) that bordered on "totally inappropriate" such as "it might be a good idea if I call Social Services regarding a "minor" getting so drunk that they need to be hospitalized". And then just smile. I know, I know...not a good idea but OMG, it would have felt sooooooo good.

[Sheri257]

Originally Posted by Happy-ER-RN

I have given up so much and worked so hard to get where I am, I spend 12 hours a night trying to help people just to be treated like crap by ungreatful worthless scum sucking people. The thing that gets to me is that there is nothing I can do about it, and I am forced to tolerate something I have no tolerance for.

Maybe the answer to our nursing shortage has nothing to do with recruiting nurses, maybe it has to do with finding some way of either teaching people how to be humane to each other, or simply killing off those who can't be decent.

This is so true (except maybe for the killing off part ).

[angelique777]

My condolances in this regard. I have had my share of people like this. I am extremely patient person and have dealt with my share of very hostile , violent, crazy, sacastic people, how I have have coped has varied from year to year and patient to patient. when I was 20 I dealt with a very violent and prejudice patient in a way I might not have done now but at that time was effective. This was a pt who came into the ER with elevated alcohol level. From the time he arrived on the ER he was nasty, obnoxious, violent. I was a phlebotomist on call worked in the ED and helped out a lot with the nurses and doctors. I was on break and my partner came down to the ER to cover me but soon paged me to come back. She was being abused by this patient cause she was not of his race. He did not want his blood taken by her cause of this and she did not know what to do. She was very upset. I do not know what possessed me but I got so upset with his behavior that I was not going to comply with him and she was going to get his blood. I was not going to let him turn her away cause of his hatefulness. I was of the mans same race but I told him very straight faced that because of his feeling I could not draw his blood because even though he thought I looked like his race I was not that he was seeing things. I told him very straight faced that I would not mind complying with him but actually the person he was turning away was the only person of his race on the floor and that the fact that she appeared in another color was a sign that his alcohol was extremely high and that I was glad he told me so I could notify his doctor that he was hallucinating which not a good sign and seeing people of the opposite color than they was truely a sign of extremely high alcohol levels making the need for his blood drawn even more urgent. I wanted to respect his wishes so the person he thought was not his race is actually his race and based on his feeling the only person who could draw blood from him this night if we respected his wishes. I was afraid to do it cause if his hallunating went away and he saw my true color I would not want him upset with me. He looked at me and at the other girl working that night then at me and then at her and stayed quiet the whole night. She had to draw blood from him several times that night and had no problems with him for the rest of the night. The doctors and nurses all wanted to know what I did to get him to shut up and be guiet. I just looked at my partner and laughed and said I gave him a dose of his own medicine and said nothing more

However I think as I got older I realize I can not do stuff like that but messing with that horrible patient that night remains a very satisfying memory for me.

However people like you had that night , if we can call them people......I have met and the samething happens to me I am so infuriate at the injustice of there accusation that I go over it over and over again in my mind wishing I had said this or that. Nursing ingrains in us all these policies and standards of care into our head plus our own upbringing ..........you resist your instinct of telling them something they may understand better if you know what I mean. However since we cannot we remain frustrated.

I am thankful I work with a good group of nurses and when I get one of these A ....holes well I quickly ask for help from someone else and change hands ............if my partner suffers abuse too then call the ADN or get security.....before I end up having it out with them. In general though I do well with nasty patients. But your right an incident like that would have had me fuming . Definitely would have gotten security or another nurse to keep me from saying something I would regret.


Hope you feel better and that you go out see a movie get a good hug from some one yu care about and start out refreshed the next time you go to work.

With affection Angela

[Sanuk]

This reminds me so much of a patient of mine that I have to reply. I had a 17 year old come in with her mother. Pt had recently run away and been shooting up. Mom brings her in. Per protocol, OD's get at least an 18 g. Obviously, her veins were not in the greatest shape, but I put the IV in her AC no problem. When I put pressure on it so I can attach the tubing, she starts screaming obscenities at me and proceeds to tell me that I am hurting her vein. Never mind the drugs she's been injecting. Her and her mother complained to the doctor and the supervisor that I was very rough with her, but my staff backed me up

The things people come up with will never cease to amaze me. Three hours later, she was still lamenting that "That mean nurse damaged my vein!"

You just have to laugh. And sometimes scream

[purplemania]

when I worked peds I would encounter these people occassionally. I tried to treat them as mental cases who had no control over their actions, words and thoughts. Somehow that got me through. I guess it lowered my expectations and then I did not react to them because I expected nothing sane to occur.