[Carotid]

100% of America's ERs would be 50% as busy if 75% of patients would try the home pregnancy test.

75% of patients presenting to ERs don't need emergent treatment; 20% of patients do need emergent treatment; 5% of patients should have listened to the nurse giving d/c instructions yesterday to prevent becoming a part of tomorrow's 75%.

3 nurses out of 1 are needed in America's ERs.

100% of drunks presenting to ERs consumed only 2 beers.

9 out of 10 nursing home patients requiring ER treatment have poor nursing home care.

more to follow.....

Carotid

Supplying Oxygen-Rich Blood To Billions Of Brains Globally

[mshooha]

LOL!!! Sad to say they are all true in my book.

[MajorDomo]

If I may add a few.
85% of customer complaints are gnerated by pts that do not require emergency attention. Conversely, 0% of intubated patients complain about their care.
Parental eduction on tylenol and motrin would decrease pediatric ER visits by at least 65%
76% of patients confuse "Convenience" with "Emergency"
Average course of the common cold 2-3 weeks, average ER patient's expectation 2-12 hrs.

Sorry, to irrestable to pass up
Major Domo

[erShocker]

Originally Posted by MajorDomo

If I may add a few.
85% of customer complaints are gnerated by pts that do not require emergency attention. Conversely, 0% of intubated patients complain about their care.
Parental eduction on tylenol and motrin would decrease pediatric ER visits by at least 65%
76% of patients confuse "Convenience" with "Emergency"
Average course of the common cold 2-3 weeks, average ER patient's expectation 2-12 hrs.

Sorry, to irrestable to pass up
Major Domo

You are correct!
Now, all we need is a slurrpy machine and a slim jim rack!

[Altra]

Originally Posted by erShocker

You are correct!
Now, all we need is a slurrpy machine and a slim jim rack!

Great thread ... keep 'em coming!

We have vending machines in our waiting room. I live for triage notes that read, "pt. presents with c/o n/v/d x 4 hours ... Pt. observed eating Doritos & drinking Coke while in waiting room."

Don't get me started on "10/10 pain" and "when can I get a sandwich?" -- used in the same sentence.

[TZRNER]

"I am having Chest pain can I get a room with a TV" If those said 75% that are non emergency visit did not think they were coming to a hotel the truely sick could get treated emergently!!

[LeahJet]

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.

[mshooha]

Originally Posted by LeahJet

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.

LOL!!!!!!!

[vanrn]

0% of parents who smoke, smoke in the house.

[Mave RN]

Originally Posted by LeahJet

With 90% of anxiety attacks, the acuity is directly related to the number of family members at bedside.

LOL!!!!