[louloubell1]

I was just posting on another thread in this forum, & I just wanted to say how FREAKED OUT I am feeling right now.

I am really, really nervous about my app to grad school for the anesthesia program. I have it all filled out, the envelope is ready to go, my references are already on their way, but....I'm too nervous to send in the app. I sent my husband off the other day to mail my application, but then I called him on his cell phone before he got to the mailbox & begged him not to send it yet. I don't know why I'm so freaked out by this.

I knew as an undergrad that anesthesia is what I wanted to do, so I really tried hard to maintain good grades. I did end up graduating suma cum laude (3.91 overall, 4.0 in nursing/science courses), tops in my nursing class, lots of honors, awards, blah, blah, blah (who cares right, I know it's not as important to me as it used to be)....I've been working in a CTS ICU since graduation, & I got really good recommendations. But I am still really freaked out about getting rejected.

I just feel like if I send in this application, it's all over. I have no control over what happens from that point on. I know so many people who are aiming for anesthesia school, & the thought of being judged against everybody else is just scary. I know it's just one school, but I feel like a rejection from this school would just mean my dream is over. Do I make any sense at all?

How did you guys feel about your chances of getting accepted? Was anybody else as nervous as I am?

Lou
Convicted of placenta previa & serving time on couch arrest ~ Day 23

[susanmary]

The couch arrest is getting to you. It is up to you whether or not your dreams "are over." If you do not get accepted (which I believe won't happen) then you apply again. Not the end of the world. To quote John Lennon "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans....."

[louloubell1]

God, you're right. Couch arrest is slowly turning me into a raving lunatic, & I really hadn't realized just how much so until now. I've been all focused on this application because it's been one of the few things that I can do while just laying around all day. I need someone to smack me before I get all hysterical, lol. It's that type-A "I-need-to-be-stressed-out-or- I'm-not- happy" personality of mine.

Thanks!
Lou

[g8rlimey]

I was quite nervous when the day finally came to mail off the apps. I must've checked about 100 times to make sure everything was correct. Just wait until they get your app, and you wait to find out if you get an interview, and then waiting to find out if you got accepted!! Will drive you crazy....

[renerian]

Send it in hon. I am sure you will most likely get in.......

Hugs,

renerian

[vanita03]

good luck! i wish u the best

[2banurse]

Just my unasked for opinion, but I don't think that you are scared you will be rejected, but possibly that you are afraid that you'll be accepted? Do you want to go right into it? I mean, we all know that you are going to have a little one soon, maybe you want more time? Mail it, if you get accepted and want to wait, that shouldn't be that hard.

Kris

[louloubell1]

That's a pretty insightful response, Kris, and now that you mention it I can really relate to that. I'm applying for the fall of 2004 (the school told me to get the app in now, seems so far in advance though doesn't it), & even though I think that will give me plenty of time to be ready to go back to school I definitely am nervous about that prospect too. I mean I love school and I love to be learning in a structured program, but I am not real excited about the whole being a poor student again thing. Thanks for giving me a different perspective on it. I will go ahead & send in the app this week. Thanks to you all for the encouragement!

Lou
Convicted of placenta previa & serving time on couch arrest ~ Day 24

[2banurse]

The reason I did make that observation is because I've been in that same situation. I mean what is the worst that could happen if you don't get in? You just reapply for somewhere else. However, by getting into a program, that means that you have to make changes in your life and that is scary. But it is also exciting!!! The little one your expecting is your first? That too is both a scary and exciting change in your life. I'm glad that you sent in your application and since it isn't until 2004, you have no way of knowing now whether it is the best decision, but at least in 2004 you won't be saying, now why didn't I put in that application?

Are you going stir crazy yet?

Kris

[louloubell1]

I am going stir crazy, I'll tell you. This is actually our fourth child. I've been so lucky with the other pregnancies & births, never had any kind of problems like this before. I think that you are just so right on about my apprehension of a new situation, and you're right, if I don't send it in now, I'll be kicking myself for it later.

Lou
Convicted of placenta previa & serving time on couch arrest ~ Day 24