Hi tiger!

I think stress affects each person differently, and each person will react to that stress factor in different ways. Sometimes we must...for our own sanity and protection...CHOOSE to adopt different approaches to how we deal with managements "BA"s or a staff members "BA"s in our place of employment. Nothing is wrong in the way we feel for feelings are neither right nor wrong...it is what we do with our feelings that make or break us.
I've always taken the approach I mentioned in my above post when dealing with someone who may need an "attitude adjustment"...including myself. Meaning...I would check my own attitude, sit down and really give my attitude some thought, and pray about how I can become a better sport in stressful situations. If I am having difficulty with a manager or staff member's attitude, I approach them and ask for a "meeting of the minds"...if you will. I have had two situations in my past that come to mind, and each "meeting of the minds" that I had was successful in that those two people apologized for their "BA"s, and from that point on, treated me with professional respect...as well we all should.
I totally understand what you and the others are saying when placing blame for bad attitudes on management, etc. I in no way doubt those issues exist BIG TIME! I do think that the best approach nurses can make in times like that is a firm, honest, straightforward, respectful, assertive, not backing down, professional one when trying to improve situations between themselves and staff. Waaaaaayyyyy too often...nurses GIVE IN simply for those reasons you mentioned in your post [ie: benefits, close to retirement so don't want to make waves, need the job, etc.] Those managers and hospital admin people KNOW these things about nurses, and use that knowledge to keep the upperhand.
The reason things aren't changing in the hospitals is because not enough nurses are willing to make that happen. Let me explain: Nurses have essentially ran the hospitals in this country for eons. Not doctors! But, nurses. We simply must get off our complacent comfortable cushions and stand up for change...if it's necessary to complain about...it's necessary to take a stand for until the changes are made. Will that make a lot of nurses' lives a tad uncomfortable? Absolutely! There's a cost to anything worth having or fighting for. Freedom doesn't come free. Just because we may not be the one's fighting to keep our personal freedom doesn't mean someone's child isn't...our soldiers, sailors, coast guard, airmen, and marines...they are the ones doing our fighting for us. WEll...Nurses are going to have to become warriors on the battlefield...that battlefield being hospitals they work in that have less than ideal conditions that are taking innocent lives every second due to neglect, understaffing, mismanagement of funds and personnel...and so forth. Are we as nurses willing to put on our armor, and go to the frontlines of that "battlefield" to make the necessary changes that need to be made, or are we going to keep arguing with those who are successfully arguing back...and not changing a darn thing?
Somtimes...an assertive "BA" can be a good thing! The question is: Do we really want change? If so, then why isn't change being made? We aren't banding together and fighting "TPTB" to bring these changes about. Men would do it. Why not women?
I will read your response tomorrow because my eyelids are about to go beddy-bye without me.

Night now!