[ga_peach_babi]

I'm don't fit the RN, but I'm currently in school for LPN. But I'm first born of an alcoholic father. He died when I was 14, (I'm 19 now.)

[grace90]

youngest of 5 kids, next one closest to me was 5+ yrs older, neither parent alcoholic but mom was/is mentally ill and turned a blind eye to abuse outside the family and at times facilitated it

[racing-mom4]

Originally Posted by weetziebat

Oh, yeah, that dark, dark horrible path. All alone with a madwoman, and as a child what can you do?

In my teens, I took myself off to a psychiatrist, thinking everything must be my fault, like mom said, but confused, not feeling it really was.

M.D. spoke with my mom, then told me "You don't need to come back to see me. You're not crazy, but your mother is and the best advice I can give you is to get as far away from her, as fast as you can, and never look back."

We must have went to the same therapist---I swear I got the same advice...FYI I was looking for the First born father alcoholics and mother narcissistic.
I am amazed at the poll so far, very very interesting topic. One I want to share.

[Emmanuel Goldstein]

I voted both non-alcoholic, but I guess I should have voted 'other'. They both had issues that I believe led to a measure of co-dependency in me.

Excluding the 'other' category, 55.5% polled had alcoholic parents.

A psychiatrist told me years ago that co-dependency is rampant in nursing. I don't know if that was simply his personal opinion and observation or if he actually had research to back it up. Given that he wasn't prone to flip comments, I kinda suspect the latter.

[slevin]

I agree. This would be a very good idea to make this a survey. Any ideas on how to make it a survey?

[JessieRN]

1st born to a wonderful, strong woman married at the time to my biological "sperm donor" father, an alchoholic with many other drug problems (he was a 'ho-dog' too :P). They divorced when I was 8, and my step dad adopted me when I was 12, and life has been peaches and cream since.

[shiloblues]

I am the youngest of two for my mother but the only child for my father, neither of my parents have abused alcohol, they are still married.

[scarymary]

Originally Posted by Dempather

I read a book on a term called codependence, which is something prevalant in populations whose parents or loved ones are physically or psychologically addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc (I'm assuming this is what the study is based on). The book stated that over time, the person without the addiction becomes dependent on the one who does. They often feel the need to take care of them, make their decisions, try to make "right" the things that they think are not. After a while, the focus is taken off themselves and onto something external...often, the other person. One of the classic characterics a codependent may have is the excessive need to care for others... which I suppose is why so many choose the healthcare field. Obviously, not every nurse is a codependent, nor is every codependent a nurse. But I can see how clear the connection is between the two. Interesting poll.

That makes so much sense. I am an RN, the eldest of 4 children, both parents alcoholics, both drank themselves to death. Lots of family issues along the way that were never resolved. Now none of us speak to each other .

[det01]

I answered other. I am a 1st born of a schitzophrenic/bipolar father and a severely depressed mother. My mother was and is loving..but my dad and depression took up a lot of her time.

[valkyria]

I am the first born and the oldest of three and the only girl of a military father. Now is that not indicative of a care taker who is a little type A?Each of us is a blend of many qualities and we polish the ones that make us shine where are heart is. I do research so I would be interested to know if you have a hypothesis and if your results support it or not, and of course, what stimulated your interest in this question.