Originally Posted by zamboni
I suppose the same thing could be said about any hetero couple using IVF and spending thousands to have a baby. Would you say the same thing to a hetero couple?
I wouldn't SAY it, but like Elvish, I think it every time I take care of the 23 week triplets whose 21 year old parents went straight to IVF after they didn't get pregnant with six months of trying. (two died, the other is seriously handicapped)
Or the poor surviving IVF twin who spent 7 months on the vent in NICU, 6 months after the medical team had nothing left to do for him. His parents kept him alive, and in agony for 6 more months. As we were coding him for the last time, his mother said "If he dies, I'm going to the fertility specialist as soon as the funeral's over!"
Or my friends who have spent years of their life and >$50k of their income trying IVF/IUI/GIFT...etc, with no luck.
When IVF works, and in the right circumstances, that's great! If you can provide a loving, nurturing environment, great! My aunt and uncle have had 6 rounds of IVF with 2 successful pregnancies. They tried all other options, and were considering adoption when the last cycle worked again.
I do NOT believe in spending thousands and thousands of dollars when it doesn't seem to be working, when adoption is such a great option. I have another aunt and uncle that were uanble to conceive, so they adopted 2 kids from Colombia. They are like our own flesh and blood now.....
I also DO NOT believe in 20-25ish y/olds going down the IVF road, simply to get pregnant as quickly as possible, when in my opinion, they haven't given themselves a chance yet. The same with fertility drugs. Many young nurses I worked with, when they stopped BC to get pregnant, and couldn't after 6 months, went right on Clomid. We had quite a few multiples that year! I'm not saying that they should have adopted, but again, needed to give themselves more time.
As a disclaimer, before someone else brings it up, I am not married, and have no children. I DO work in NICU, and see the end result of IVF all the time, and its mostly not pretty. I would love to adopt someday, whether or not I ever marry.....
Would you like to comment?
