[tencat]

Hmmm....I have to say that was a waste of valuable court time and taxpayer money to even take that absurd case to court. It should have been handled with the parents and the guardian outside of the courts. If there is a GAL, there is a bigger problem there, for sure. Denying a kid one outing with her peers isn't going to scar her for life. There are better ways to handle the situation, I agree, but it is not going to be lasting damage to the kid because she missed out on a school activity.

Teens will push and push to see what they can get away with. That seems to be their primary purpose in life, especially at 12 or 13. That is why G-d makes them so darn cute as babies, so we don't KILL them when they get to be 13........

[Spidey's mom]

One of the things we do is make a big chart with all the things our kids like to do. If they break a rule, a big X goes over one.

Taking away privileges is about the only thing you can do with teens. No car privileges, no movie night out with friends, no school dance, etc.

The internet can be a scary place - and I'm not in favor of a 12 or 13 year old even having unlimited access to a computer. Or having a MySpace account. The bullying that goes on is horrible.

My daughter's classmates have been called the meanest class in a long long time and the valedictorian even wrote her speech on that. Internet anonymity makes folks more brazen about what they say.

And girls . .. . good grief. Some of the photos they post and the things they say about sex . . .

There should be a hard and fast rule against computers in a bedroom - it needs to be in a family area and the parents need to check the history often. Or get a program they tells you where the kids have been.

steph

[babynurselsa]

I guess the judge who overrules MY punishment of MY cheild better be ready to move a new kid into their house.
Might be different if I beat the snot out of the child or withheld life essentials like food or water or air. But DO NOT tell me I cannot tell my child no.

[HM2Viking]

Discipline needs to be contingently applied with clear expectations about expected behaviors.

There also needs to be a teaching component used as part of discipline that gives skills to prevent future misbehaviors.

[Roy Fokker]

Originally Posted by babynurselsa

I guess the judge who overrules MY punishment of MY cheild better be ready to move a new kid into their house.
Might be different if I beat the snot out of the child or withheld life essentials like food or water or air. But DO NOT tell me I cannot tell my child no.

There used to be a time when kids feared (and by fear I don't mean "scared for my life" kinda fear) their parents more than they feared the cops. If a kid did something dumb, the police would simply take 'em home and let the parents deal with it.

Juvenile delinquency is a contradiction in terms. Delinquency means dereliction of duty. But duty is an adult virtue - in deed, we often consider a person to be "mature" only when they have a grasp of their duties along with their rights. For every juvenile "delinquent" there is a corresponding/co-incident adult who is delinquent in their duty.

I've said it before and I'll say it again - decline of parental authority is one of the reasons our society is in a rudderless direction. There is a lot of talk about declining standards, rising crime etc. etc. etc.... and foolishly we cry out and insist on a top down approach (more cops, stricter laws, reform schools, more state power etc.) rather than the bottom-up route by restoring parental and local authority.

Children are the responsibility of their parents.
Not uncle Jack's. Not Ms.goody-two-shoes living next door. Certainly not the overbearing State.

cheers,

[danissa]

Originally Posted by babynurselsa

I guess the judge who overrules MY punishment of MY cheild better be ready to move a new kid into their house.
Might be different if I beat the snot out of the child or withheld life essentials like food or water or air. But DO NOT tell me I cannot tell my child no.

Thats IT! You got it in one!
Dealing with teens is soooo difficult at times, and with-holding extra trips etc is about the only way to give them the message that their behaviour has been in- appropriate!
You are so right in saying, intervention from the courts if you beat up your child for wrong doings, but APPROPRIATE Parental chastisement, such as withdrawing luxuries, that going to court just beggars belief!

I can't believe a judge would rule on the side of a 12 yr old, who clearly needs guidance, not encouragement to further flaunt herself and her parents rules!

[HM2Viking]

Originally Posted by danissa

I can't believe a judge would rule on the side of a 12 yr old, who clearly needs guidance, not encouragement to further flaunt herself and her parents rules!

I think the problems were that the parents weren't in agreement about the rules amongst themselves. (Father, Mother, Stepmother)

Nor were the rules consistently applied.

[caliotter3]

I find it hard to believe that any judge would have even heard this case. Somewhat disgusting.

[Spidey's mom]

Roy - great and wise post for one so young.




steph