[Destinystar]

Usually changing shifts and getting more education will get one out of the type of scene that you were describing.

Originally Posted by AmethystVeralyn

A very long gripe held back for several years.

Could someone please give me some advice.
I worked in a place for five and a half years where a certain hand full of staff members were always playing head games.

They would insult me by demanding that I work alone
while the rest of them all worked together and would refuse to
offer me any help with transfers and would also go out on breaks
together without stopping to ask if I needed help.

I always made it a point not to do this to anyone and always offered to help the others before I left the floor.

For a few months when I worked on the day shift
they stuck me on what everyone knew
was the hardest patient goup in the building, eg. "We have to do something about
group six...maybe we'll put K. on it." I jokingly answered
"What did she ever do?" The next thing I knew
it was not her but me that was on
group six with no explanation and they refused to offer
their assistance, and then acted like I was being unfair to them
because I couldn't finish my assignment in the required amount
of time. They were insinuating to me that I was refusing
to help them put away clean laundry
because I wanted to take advantage of them
when they really knew I couldn't
finish my assignment early enough to help them.
They also probably knew that I was
working with no breaks and about five minutes for lunch.

Sometimes they would REFUSE to help me with transfers
on patients who were officially two person transfers and demand
that I transfer them alone

and then would get enraged
when I would refuse to threaten the patients safety this way.

Then someone had the nerve and audacity to write
that I was, "very bossy to fellow staff members..."
when it's the other way around and I was
very blocked when I needed to stand up to them.

Sometimes I would try to reason with them and
they would go deaf and report me to the supervisors.
During these episodes no one took time to hear
the actual facts when they insisted on putting words
in my mouth and making me out to be taking advantage of them.

There was one episode where a girl REFUSED to help me transfer HER patient after I answered her signal light.
She said, "I'm taking care of Mary," when it appeared
that she was really just standing there and did not
have Mary in process.
At this time I was already busy
with my own patient group which was still the
hardest one in the building
and I had to get a visitor to help me (the patients
daughter in law) However, this girl, instead of saying
she was sorry she reported me to two supervisors for
telling the daughter in law that she,
"disappeared" (a nice way of saying she was rude)
One of these supervisors immediately scapegoated
me, "Why didn't you finish care on Bessie?"

Then she claimed that the girl who
refused to help me in the first place, "would reciprocate,"
when this hadn't been the case with some of my co workers
for an extended period of time.

As if this wasn't enough they lied to the
supervisors and the DoN on a number of occasions, always
claiming that I wasn't working as, "part of a team." The reality
was that they would sit in the nurses station
and watch me
answer their lights and do things for their patients
and would refuse
to admit that I ever did anything for them or they
would, "go out for a smoke."
I am always forgiving on people
who forget to say thankyou but when they lie
and make it appear that I'm
taking advantage of them it always
sets me into a rage.

So I had to sit in the DoNs office after they turned me in for allegedly not participating in teamwork and I had to listen to her put words in my mouth and
assign attitudes and opinions to me that were not my opinions.
She then refused to listen to my side of it.

Also around this time period, when I was done
with my work on my wing I would go help the
others on the other wing (the harder wing)
until one charge nurse insisted that, "you don't have to help them."
I realize now I was wrong to go along with her
on this. I should have gone to help them anyway and
explained my reasoning.

But nowhere did I ever hear anyone say,
"You were good about helping on the other wing why don't you do it now??"
Instead they went blind and acted like I never helped them.

No matter where you work the game of, "You're
not gonna help me," and the game of, "She can't do it by herself,"
are not part of being a team!!
In these cases they are bullying
people who are more than glad to help them and making up
their minds for them.

One night I was doing hs care on an abusive patient who belonged to another girl because she was nervous about
taking care of her.
I had done this for
a number of weeks because of my concern for this patient and
because I wanted to help the girl assigned to her. While I was taking care of her one of the girls I was
working with reported me to the charge nurse (the same one who
scapegoated me when I couldn't get help with the transfer)
and she came in the room and started screaming
at the top of her lungs
that "We are a team!! ...You're the only one
not working as part of a team!!"
Then they were smug
because she was screaming at me like I was some sort of
an idiot.
As it turned out
there was a new rule that on my assignment
that I was supposed to
put gowns on all the patients
but they didn't bother to tell me
this until it was too late to follow through
so they had it looking like I, "wouldn't gown the residents," just to be a jerk.

I think on some level they knew
if I had known this
I would have made sure I did what they asked.

Later on one of the charge nurses friends who worked
on the other wing told her, " I heard you over their screaming
at her....." and I had commented to her that, "I couldn't read
their minds!!!"

I also was sometimes confronted with things I
actually did, at which time I appreciated the feedback
of various people which included visitors.

During these times some other people would
complain about the way the were treated by other
staff members.
Some of them were excellent nurses
and they quit.

I discussed these problems at great length
with the assistant DoN and again with the DoN
and with one floor supervisor
and was shocked to find that none of these discussions ever
made it into my file including one where every single thing I
said was written down word for word.
Instead there is a written comment that I am
"not a team player," that stares me in the face when
I open my file. There was no mention of the fact that they deliberately set me up.

They constantly demanded that I do, "the onsies," while they refused to help me and refused to communicate and
then went out for a smoke while I worked without breaks.
They tried to make certain patients into, "onsies," that really were not one person assists and then they would
bully people into moving
them alone just because some other people could move them.
I always made sure
I never forced anyone to transfer a patient alone when
they asked me for help but no one would ever acknowledge this.

Over the years my evals hardly ever reflected the problems
I was having on the floor and instead told me I was an
excellent worker. This made it confusing when I thought
about quitting.
My husband suggested, "they're trying to make it so miserable
for you that you have to quit."
I finally did quit when I realized that their game of lying and going deaf had no solutions.
What should you do when people in your work place
are in a habit of twisting the truth and are accusing you
of things you're not doing and you can't afford to quit?

[nightingale]

Originally Posted by AmethystVeralyn

A very long gripe held back for several years.


What should you do when people in your work place
are in a habit of twisting the truth and are accusing you
of things you're not doing and you can't afford to quit?

I am sorry about your former situation.

Hopefully, the answer is you can have another job waiting for you.

[mattsmom81]

Sounds like a hostile place to work and hopefully you can find something different. If you must stay, you need to seek help from someone above you in the organization who can help you. Do you have an employee assistance program? Union? supervisor you trust who can advise you how to proceed? Remember if your eval says something negative it must be discussed with you and you must have the opportunity to respond...I would write all over that eval myself and ask for more details of whys, wheres, and whos..

We've discussed bullying and mobbing behaviors quite a lot and if you do a search you will find many discussions. Sometimes these places are too far gone/dysfunctional and the only thing we can do is get the heck outta Dodge. Best wishes and hope things go better for you soon.

[AmethystVeralyn]

Originally Posted by mattsmom81

Sounds like a hostile place to work and hopefully you can find something different. If you must stay, you need to seek help from someone above you in the organization who can help you. Do you have an employee assistance program? Union? supervisor you trust who can advise you how to proceed? Remember if your eval says something negative it must be discussed with you and you must have the opportunity to respond...I would write all over that eval myself and ask for more details of whys, wheres, and whos..

We've discussed bullying and mobbing behaviors quite a lot and if you do a search you will find many discussions. Sometimes these places are too far gone/dysfunctional and the only thing we can do is get the heck outta Dodge. Best wishes and hope things go better for you soon.

---------------------------------------------------------
A very long gripe continued.

In this place there was no help for employees having
problems unless you wanted to talk to the DoN
or nursing supervisors who were sometimes
very biased or so overwhelmed with work that they
were asking
their co workers to leave them alone.
The supervisors that were willing to support me
either resigned because they were being given a
hard time by the other nurses
or they did not always work the same
shift or the same wing.

It was confusing to have a near excellent eval
every year and then have people tell you
the complete opposite of what it says.

I also forgot to mention that I did change
shifts three times during the years of my
employment and in so doing
put myself through the ringer. Each shift had
their own set of problems
including that on the day
shift I was told by a girl I did rounds with,

"We don't have time to wash them in the afternoons
so we just change them,"

It was after I reported this
to the DoN and she confronted them that they all started working in groups
and refusing to work in the same room with me.

Then they switched it back on me and said I was not
working as part of a team when it was really that they were refusing to let me work with them.

When I changed from the day shift to the evening
shift there used to be days
when the day shift
nurses would be filling in on the evening shift
so I could never really escape from them.

I was also infuriated to find out that the game of,
"You do the onsies," was transferred from the day
shift to the evening shift, when it used to be that
three girls would work together from one end of the hallway.
The advantage of this is that someone
you hated earlier sometimes becomes someone you like because we were not permitted to isolate them. This way,
I often found out that someone who infuriated me in the past would turn out to be someone I learned to appreciate.

This way also, there was no way for anyone to claim
that, "she's not helping us," when the fact is they
deliberately set them up and are refusing to support them.
It also protected patient safety because the
so called, "onsies," are not being transferred alone
by people who are too intimidated to ask for help with them.

I did have one co worker who changed off our shift
to get away from the same charge nurse I had
a problem with (described above) and she was
glad she did.

As for getting answers about the negative
feedback I did ask a lot of questions
and was not able to get details. As I found out later I was understood to be saying, "I don't understand
the problem," when that was not the issue
and I hadn't said that. When I was confronted I often took the opportunity to discuss my concerns about the patients
but in the end I didn't even get credit for this.

Charge nurses should ask questions
like, "Is there a reason why you didn't...."and
then listen to your response
instead of making assumptions about your
attitude like the ones I dealt with.
They could also benefit by asking, "did anyone tell
you that you were supposed to........"
or, "You mean you actually told her to do this and
she wouldn't cooperate.??" (which is what they made it look like)
The same people that refuse to help with transfers
are said to be working as a team when they are
really just working as a click.
They are also displaying a blatent lack of concern for
patient safety.

[barefootlady]

Amethyst, I know and fully understand some of these situations can cause added stress and added work to an already overloaded day. I know being made to feel like the "left out" member on any nursing team can hurt and cause deep feelings of anger/resentment. Most especially when evals are usually good. Please try to find some stress counselling in your area. Once a person goes through a situation like the one you were in and it goes on for a long time, there are always residual issues that need to be resolved. You sound like a kind, caring, knowledgeable nurse. I hope your job situation has improved . Let us know how it is going with you.

[jeepgirl]

that is so scary! i can't believe that they just dropped a GN in the ICU to let her run wild!

in our units, our gn's get at least 12 weeks floor in addition to hospital orientation. also, they usually get an extra couple weeks.
it is written in our policy that a new grad will not be in charge of a unit.

[Sheri257]

Question: What are your contractural requirements when you pick up an agency assignment like this? Especially if you're a traveller that's signed on for, let's say, three months.

If the place is a disaster, do you have an option to get out of the assignment? Or, do you have to typically stick it out? How does this work?

[mattsmom81]

As for me, I don't do contracts. Just perdiem. so...if I don't like the place I literally never have to go back...BIIIGGG plus.

[nosonew]

Living in a small town and working in a rural hosp as a new grad...I quit after one year. I was the only nurse on the floor (dayshift) with 15 patients and one tech. In the first hour I had assessed most of my patients, and found one with 4 resp per minute (night shift nurse upped the morphine on the pump and didn't realize patient was hitting the button FREQUENTLY), another patient that was unresponsive with a bs of 22, and a patient post colon resection who's incision had completely opened during the night! I called house super requesting immediate assistance, and she told me she would "get to it after her breakfast!" I started grabbing doctors as they walked in to do rounds and made them deal with what I couldn't do immediately (I had 3 patients who needed IMMEDIATE attention - and I am ONLY ONE person!) So, after the day from hell, I gave my notice at the end of the shift. *I also admitted 6 patients, dismissed 4, send one (colon) to ICU, who was later shipped out.

Oh, and house supervisor showed up to "help" 2 hours after I had called her. Then she tried to bite my head off because an IV med had been given 45 minutes late. Luckily, one of the docs was still there, and he took her head off.

I was also told that the "acuity" was fine, as there were 5 nurses working that day. I was like, "WHAT?" ...apparently they were counting the worthless HS, the nurse educator, DON, and infection control nurse...who were all in dress clothes, holed up in their offices. How can they be counted anyway????? URGH!

Anyway, just thought your post was too on the mark! Hope all is much better now! *And I realize this post is old, but oh so true!

When I gave my notice, all 3 of those doctors offerred me a job.