[NursesRmofun]

Originally Posted by sierranurse

Tell us your most outrageous emergency medical responses within the correctional facility where you work.

Very new to corretions here, and I work in a MAX....but there was a guy a couple weeks ago that said he had chest pain while I was giving out meds. on the block, then he suddely had "paralysis" on the left side. But it sometimes the paralysis switched to the right side sometimes...plus, his limbs, including the left side were not flaccid. He could hold them up them basically normally once he had "help" getting them up. He demanded to go to the clinic/ER on emergency call. EKG normal. PA assessed him as okay. What a PIA he was. He seems fine in the subsequent weeks since. No more paralysis. <shrug>

[Pattiecake]

Had a real gross 1033 a few years ago. Guy was working in the woodshop where they make vast amounts of furniture for contracts. A saw he was using somehow "bucked" they say (personally don't know much about saws) and it just about cut his head off. It cut across his neck. Anyhow, our little bandaid station managed to hold him together until ambulance arrived. He lived, and went back to work in the shop after a few months.


Another recent good 1033 was a fake seizure. He was pretty good though. Able to withstand the old smelling salts, only barely, almost inperceptbly winced with painful stimuli, like sternal pressure, nailbed pressure, eyeball pressure. But we did find his breaking point. We discussed the need for the MD to do a rectal. All of a sudden the eyelids started fluttering and the "where am I" stuff started.
Why do they all think we nurses were born yesterday?

[Jailhouse RN]

Outragious!?!? 2 C batteries and a 6" piece of wire in an inmates rectum. When asked why they were in there he said......."How do you think I will light my smokes."

[Pattiecake]

Nurse is doing the intake screening on a new guy at 2330 hours and he starts seizuring. No known seizure disorder stated so far in the intake process, so long story short, he goes to the ER. They have no idea why he had a seizure and attribute it to probable ingestion of something, so he gets sent to my infirmary. He is on 24 hour obs by a CO just in case he has anything packed. By golly in a few hours he has a poop and whadya think they found? 3 tinfoil packaged cigarettes and a bic lighter. And to think this is a non-smoking prison. Kinda gives a whole new meaning to getting packed for prison, doesn't it?

[Dixiecup]

Wasn't really an emergency after I got there. The guy had been beat so badly (by another inmate) his eyeball was popped out on the side of his face.Dead as a doornail.


Then there's the guy who got majic shave thrown on his face andthen lit on fire. Not pretty and I'll never forget the smell of burning flesh.

[stevierae]

Damn. I have a new respect for prison beatings and assessing the hell out of those prisoners who've received them--I have never worked corrections, but happened to be in ICU where there were 3 different prisoners who had developed rhabdomyolysis secondary to severe beatings. I didn't even know what it was--had to read up on it. Scary!!!

[HEDNURSE]

THE BEST HAD TO BE DURING AM DIABETIC CLINIC I HAD AN INMATE COME AND WISH TO TALK TO ME PRIVATELY AS I STATED THIS IS AS PRIVATE AS YOU ARE GOING TO GET HE THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL ME THAT HE HAD AN APPLE UP HIS ***!!! WITH A STRAIGHT POKER FACE AS I AM DYING INSIDE PROCEEDED TO ASK WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? HE THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL ME THAT THE MORNING PREVIOUS HE WAS IN HIS CELL FLOGGIN DE LOGGIN WITH AN APPLE IN HIS ANUS FOR SRTIMULATION BECAUSE HE HAD READ IT SOME WHERE AND BEFORE HE EJACULATED THE APPLE "SHOT UP" INTO HIS ***!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HANDLED IT QUIETLY AND IN A PROFESSIONAL MANNER BUT HAD TO SEE IT....................... SURE NUFF THERE IT WAS A PATCH OF GREEN AND RED PEEKING OUT OF THE ANUS NUFF OF THAT! WAITED FOR THE DOC AS HE SART IN THE WAITING ROOM THE DOC CAME IN AND I PULLED HIM OVER AND DISCRETELY EXPLAINED THE SCENARIO ......... NOW VISUALIZE THAT THE NURSES STATION WHERE WE WERE IS ADJACENT TO THE WAITING ROOM ONLY A WAIST HIGH WALL WITH ONE WAY GLASS ON TOP.................. HE THEN SAID .... NO WAIT.... YELLED "HE HAS AN APPLE UP HIS ***!!! WELL GET THE APPLE CORER AND MAYBE WE SHOULD WRITE HIM UP FOR ATTEMPTING TO MAKE PRUNO OR CONCEALING A WEAPON!!! I SMILED BUT INSIDE WAS DYING LAUGHING!!!! NEEDLESS TO SAY AS THIS APPLE WAS UP THERE ALMOST TWENTY HOURS AND REQUIRED SURGERY FOR REMOVAL OF SAID FRUIT AND TO TOP IT OFF DO TO THE LENGTH OF TIME BEFORE REPORTING THIS ENDED UP GETTING A COLOSTOMY AND HAVING THE BACK DOOR SURGICALLY CLOSE4D AS A RESULT OF THE NECROTIC TISSUE FORMED FROM THE EXTENDED PERIOD OF TIME. .................... SO THE MORAL IS ....................... WELL YA KNOW!~!!!

[lvnprntlc]

After 6 years...I've seen a lot.
One of the strangest ones was a pencil inserted up the penis.
The inmate had some weird sexual practices to say the least!

[MamaTheNurse]

Originally Posted by Pattiecake

Another recent good 1033 was a fake seizure. He was pretty good though. Able to withstand the old smelling salts, only barely, almost inperceptbly winced with painful stimuli, like sternal pressure, nailbed pressure, eyeball pressure. But we did find his breaking point. We discussed the need for the MD to do a rectal. All of a sudden the eyelids started fluttering and the "where am I" stuff started.
Why do they all think we nurses were born yesterday?

holy moley - the minute you did a sternal rub on me, you would have had to peel me off the ceiling!!!

[lvnprntlc]

Sacramento County jail here