[banditrn]

Thanks Trauma - you got it!! The original posters didn't see fit to try to tell me how to raise my children - it's too late anyhow, I'm 57 yo, and my kids are all grown anyhow!

I'm not very sympathetic to 'whining' as the one poster stated, but as a mother, the underwear thing had me going - as it turned out he got out that day anyhow. I guess I figure that 'you do the crime, you do the time'.

But this particular place has such a bad reputation for being filthy, and treating inmates badly, and racism, which is driving me up the wall. It shouldn't be a cupcake to be there, but there should be minimum standards.

As a mother, I never did let them use the old 'blame' game. And this boy knew that the only person that was responsible for his being there was HIM.

Thanks again!

[**nurse**]

Amen.

[tirzo13]

i have various views on incarceration.
in some ways its like day camp, otherwise it does really seem demeaning and barbaric.
anyway, the officers treat the Inmates better than i was treated in basic training for the military.
they are more polite than my drill seargents.
anyway, a mothers phone call to the warden will go along way.
wardens hate those calls, often the IM will often get the problem fixed when mother makes the call.
I often tell IM's when something is taking too long, or they are not getting what they need, to simply have mother call the warden, and then boom, the warden will often make sure the problem is fixed.

[banditrn]

Originally Posted by tirzo13

i have various views on incarceration.
in some ways its like day camp, otherwise it does really seem demeaning and barbaric.
anyway, the officers treat the Inmates better than i was treated in basic training for the military.
they are more polite than my drill seargents.
anyway, a mothers phone call to the warden will go along way.
wardens hate those calls, often the IM will often get the problem fixed when mother makes the call.
I often tell IM's when something is taking too long, or they are not getting what they need, to simply have mother call the warden, and then boom, the warden will often make sure the problem is fixed.

My son was only in this county lock-up for a short time, and hopefully will never go back. There is no warden there - just the sheriff and the jailers - I don't want the problem fixed for just us, but for everyone that goes in there.

I don't think inmates should be coddled - but basic cleanliness isn't 'coddling in my eyes. I suppose there are all sorts of 'rules' against it, but I don't know why the inmates themselves couldn't do the cleaning. And haven't we all been educated about the harmful effects that mold can have on people?

Jails, just like nursing homes and hospitals collect state money - I don't understand why there isn't some agency that oversees them just like with anything else.

[fiestynurse]

If the place is that bad - call an ACLU attorney and get a class action suit going. Your son can initiate this.

[tirzo13]

I never worked for the county lock ups.
Here at Salinas Valley State Prison it is nearly spotless.

The inmates are always cleaning the place up, painting.
They also take pride in their cells, they are usually very clean, clothes are wrinkle free.
There are a few slobs, but the inmates themselves keep everything very nice.
Course this prison is only 10 years old also, so that makes a difference.
Maybe someobody at a old place like Folsom or San Quintin have a different story, maybe those places are filthy and beat down since they are so old.

But if the inmates did not keep everything clean and polished who would? Money for staff is short all over, money for improvements is short all over.

[fiestynurse]

I think that cleanliness is important in the jails, not only for the inmates, but for the staff who have to have work there. I also think that inmates should be treated humanely. There are many watch dog groups and agencies that your son can report bad jail conditions to. I gave you two - The Public Health Department and the ACLU. Your son can also write his local county and state representatives. But, my point was - your energy would be better spent attending ALANON and taking care of yourself, rather than focusing on your son's miserable time in jail.

ALANON has helped thousands of parents deal with their addicted children and it will help you and your son in his recovery. I am speaking from experience here, addiction effects the whole family. It doesn't mean that you are to blame for his addiction or that you are a bad mother.

With that said, spending time in a not so nice jail is "rock bottom" for many addicts. It is what keeps them sober when they get out. I would rather have my son sitting in dirty underwear for a few weeks, then dead. This dirty disgusting jail with it's rude COs may have saved his life!!

[canoehead]

Two weeks in a disgusting jail (and no clean underwear) for a DUI? It's not nice, but I think he got off lucky. Did he at any point ask someone for a mop and bucket?

[banditrn]

Originally Posted by fiestynurse

I think that cleanliness is important in the jails, not only for the inmates, but for the staff who have to have work there. I also think that inmates should be treated humanely. There are many watch dog groups and agencies that your son can report bad jail conditions to. I gave you two - The Public Health Department and the ACLU. Your son can also write his local county and state representatives. But, my point was - your energy would be better spent attending ALANON and taking care of yourself, rather than focusing on your son's miserable time in jail.

ALANON has helped thousands of parents deal with their addicted children and it will help you and your son in his recovery. I am speaking from experience here, addiction effects the whole family. It doesn't mean that you are to blame for his addiction or that you are a bad mother.

With that said, spending time in a not so nice jail is "rock bottom" for many addicts. It is what keeps them sober when they get out. I would rather have my son sitting in dirty underwear for a few weeks, then dead. This dirty disgusting jail with it's rude COs may have saved his life!!

He's been off the booze for almost 2 years! No, I no longer need to 'deal' with it - it's been dealt with - why do people insist on advising that, when that isn't what I asked in the first place.

And you are right - I'm NOT to blame. While addiction is a factor in our family history, we raised our children in a good home. I 'educated' them at an early age about our family hx. As a family, we're supportive, but not floormats.

I don't recall asking for advice about substance abuse - I've been trained in that area extensively.

[banditrn]

Originally Posted by canoehead

Two weeks in a disgusting jail (and no clean underwear) for a DUI? It's not nice, but I think he got off lucky. Did he at any point ask someone for a mop and bucket?

Yes he did - it's not allowed!! And as with some others - I'm asking a general question about conditions in general! My son is done with his time - but what about others? Do you think every 'offense' deserves 'time' spent in a filthy jail?

Your opinion as to whether my son got off 'lucky' or not is moot.