No one is posting so my boyfriend shared these with me
ON THE FUNNY OR SARCASTIC SIDE OF TRICKS OF THE TRADE
All bleeding stops....eventually.
If the child is quiet, be scared.
If the pt. vomits, try to hold the head to the side of the rig with the least difficult cleanable equipment.
There will be problems.
If the patient looks sick, then the patient is sick.
If you absolutely must vomit, than it is probably best to turn your head away from the patient.
It is generally bad to use the words "holy $hit" on scene, in reference to the patients condition.
When responding to a call always remember that your ambulance was built by the lowest bidder
If its stupid, but it works, then it ain't stupid
Always honor a threat
Always know when to get out of dodge
Always know HOW to get out of dodge
Don't go INTO Dodge without the Marshall.
If the pt is going to vomit (especially projectile) be sure to aim towards any bystanders that would NOT clear the scene. (This also works for OIC's)
Always answer a newbie's questions. (you once asked them, too.)
EMT's are taught - "the man with the gun, is the man in charge" (i.e.: the police) WRONG !!!!! Real life (when the fire dept. is on scene) "The man with the NOZZLE (charged hose line) is the man in charge !!" Trust me , it's true. I've been there. that charged hose will send you farther down the block & hurt more before the cop begins to think about shooting you.
If you respond to an MVA after midnight and you don't find a drunk, keep looking - you've missed a patient.
PVC's can be eliminated by sending a strip to the hospital.
The ultimate QA program in EMS is an autopsy.
Pain never killed anyone
"Compassion Kills", don't dive into incidents.
What do you call a medical student who finishes last in their class? Doctor.
Just because someone's EMT or Paramedic original license date is before yours does not mean they know what they are doing.
Most of your patients are healthier than you are.
Being in emergency services means you get to celebrate your holidays with all your friends, while on-duty.
Being an EMT means you get to expose yourself to rare, exotic and exciting new diseases.
Common sense isn't VERY COMMON
EMS goes against the process of natural selection.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean your supervisor's not around the corner.
You can't cure stupid.
Dead is dead, leave it at that.
The pain will go away when it stops hurting.
You should always stop CPR after the second ouch!, from the PT.
If your patient is violent you can always use O2 therapy (an O2 bottle across the head usually calms them down).
You've never been as sick as just before you stop breathing.
If someone is pointing a gun at you, 2 things
1. you should have waited for PD,
2. you wish you just hadn't made that wise ass comment.
When in doubt let your partner handle it
If the patient only moans when you listen to lung sounds .... They aren't as sick as they want to be.
EMS providers know how to say "got shoes" in 7 different languages.
Never go past the first dead cop.
IF you ever go to a call and find the cops laughing on the front lawn...worry!