Why do we do this to ourselves?

  1. I read through many of these threads.. and over and over again we're stating how miserable we are. I'm a new grad.. did 3 months and resigned. Am supposed to start a new job Monday.. and even after accepting that position a couple weeks ago, I was still looking for random jobs... data entry, secretary, retail even. I'm a VERY happy-go-lucky person and really enjoy helping others, but in this stressful situation .. and hearing how stressful it is non-stop.. is it really worth it? I know.. I know.. you do get your reward from the patient at times, but if I'm not able to be happy when I'm home with my husband and family.. and don't get to sleep in the same bed as him.. and on a different schedule than everyone I know... I care about my patients.. but the people I TRULY care about (my family) get the short end. So at what point do you stand up and say this is not for me?!
    (just had some thoughts and wanting to share... pardon the journal entry LOL)
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  2. 26 Comments

  3. by   WindyhillBSN
    I'm almost willing to work at Mcdonald's.
  4. by   MBARNBSN
    i know how you feel, lovepurple. i think the reason i stick it out is because i like the challenge of being a situation that seems impossible. i am one to push and push even if i am pushing up against a brick wall. plus, i have worked in two other career fields and the stress still exists outside of nursing from what i have experienced, not to mention poor pay. thus, the stress attached to nursing does not cause me to rethink this career.

    my advice to you is to get a second job in one of the places you listed. maybe even volunteer if the people do not want to pay. chances are you will find that no matter what job you have, the stress is bad because you will work hard to succeed despite the odds.... on the other hand, you may be lucky and find the job of your dreams where all of the hard work makes you happy (like nursing is for me), despite the added stress! gl!

    -fellow new grad rn
  5. by   LovePurple
    Quote from windyhill
    i'm almost willing to work at mcdonald's.
    glad i'm not alone lol =)

    Quote from mbarn08
    i know how you feel, lovepurple. i think the reason i stick it out is because i like the challenge of being a situation that seems impossible. i am one to push and push even if i am pushing up against a brick wall. plus, i have worked in two other career fields and the stress still exists outside of nursing from what i have experienced, not to mention poor pay. thus, the stress attached to nursing does not cause me to rethink this career.

    my advice to you is to get a second job in one of the places you listed. maybe even volunteer if the people do not want to pay. chances are you will find that no matter what job you have, the stress is bad because you will work hard to succeed despite the odds.... on the other hand, you may be lucky and find the job of your dreams where all of the hard work makes you happy (like nursing is for me), despite the added stress! gl!

    -fellow new grad rn
    and i agree.. there is stress at every job, but to me... getting a cash register to add up, or dealing with the public isn't nearly the stress of nursing because that's someone's life and health. so that's where i'm coming from.. the different kind of stress we like to refer to as nursing =)
    i do thank you for your input! i wish you the best as well!! way to go!
  6. by   tri-rn
    Quote from LovePurple
    So at what point do you stand up and say this is not for me?!
    When you know in your heart and gut that it really ISN'T for you. If you aren't happy, what's the point?

    OTOH, maybe you could find another area where you could put your nursing education to good use? Insurance company, local gym (ours employs an RN as a "lifestyle consultant"), school nursing? Something like that?

    Good luck to you! Here's hoping that the new job works out and you won't need the suggestions
  7. by   god-is-love
    hi lovepurple, :d

    have to say i love the name purple is my favoite color. b4 i joined this forum i had an unrealistic view of nursing. i am doing this as a second career, my first was a teacher. i also had an unrealistic view of it which was vacations, summers and holidays off, great kids, great life. my dreams were shattered when i became a sub right b4 student teaching. teaching is a really stressful job, crappy pay, unemployment, crappy grade level teams, and continuous unemployment. if i have a career why am i working @ officeteam with college students on summer break. so i ran, cancelled student teaching and began my pre-requisits that semester out of school. i have always wanted to be a nurse, but i did not beleiev i had the intelligence to succeed in the science classes, so i took the easy way out i went into the easiest career field i could find and knew that i would not be happy & that is not where my heart is. the media portrays nursing as the ideal american/ international career field. advertising the job security, pay, flexibility. they have never mentioned the torment and torture new grads experience. this forum has given me an ideal representation of nursing underneath the glory of pay & flexibility. no amount of money can compromise a person's dignity, respect, and pride. even though we are "new grads" we all come from different walks of life and different age groups, but at the end of the day we are all adult women that have a passion & drive for nursing. nursing school is headache enough no one should have to wake up everyday to a job they hate going too. this creates stress, broken families, and depression among nurses. it saddens me to see the new grads that have given up, lost their jobs, or just lost themselves in this field. after reading all this and being nervous & affraid i still wouldn't want to do anything else. i am thankful for this site because i am expecting the worst and i am just greatful to have many shoulders to lean on in this site and see people that are enduring the same tourture that i will have to and come out a survivor. realistically people outside this field could never understand the position of a nurse. it saddens me to see all of this animosity and anger towards new grads, i feel like they probably read these posts and get great pleasure and feel like their job is done. lets not give them the pleasure. lets go ahead and endure the torment, move forward, and make life easier for the next generation of nurses after us. lets never forget what happened to us as new grads, yes it will make us better nurses, but aren't their other ways. i hope you remain a nurse because patients need nurses like us to make their lives here on earth much easier.

    good luck & god bless :heartbeat
  8. by   Thankful RN,BSN
    I go to work and i do my job. I don't get involved emotionally at work (how draining). I care about my self and my family. That's it!
  9. by   wildorchid
    I'm a new grad, and will be at my three month mark at my first hospital RN job. I will be on my own next week!!! I already know that I don't really like bedside nursing, but most RN jobs prefer RN's with some hospital experience so I am going to try to stick it out for at least a year. Experience nurses keep telling me that it will take at least 1-2 years before fully becoming comfortable working (bed side nursing).....The stresses from our job is really draining to our own health, yet we are trying to improve the health of our patient!!! I don't feel that I am emotionally involved at work, but just the environment overall tends to be chaotic, with our high acuity patients, and heavy patient load, therefore causing negativity amongst the staff including CNAs, LPNs, and RNs. I have fellow new grad nurses that I can talk about the stresses, and see also that they are feeling similar things. Good luck to you in whatever you decide to pursue!
  10. by   gcupid
    Quote from god-is-love
    hi lovepurple, :d

    have to say i love the name purple is my favoite color. b4 i joined this forum i had an unrealistic view of nursing. i am doing this as a second career, my first was a teacher. i also had an unrealistic view of it which was vacations, summers and holidays off, great kids, great life. my dreams were shattered when i became a sub right b4 student teaching. teaching is a really stressful job, crappy pay, unemployment, crappy grade level teams, and continuous unemployment. if i have a career why am i working @ officeteam with college students on summer break. so i ran, cancelled student teaching and began my pre-requisits that semester out of school. i have always wanted to be a nurse, but i did not beleiev i had the intelligence to succeed in the science classes, so i took the easy way out i went into the easiest career field i could find and knew that i would not be happy & that is not where my heart is. the media portrays nursing as the ideal american/ international career field. advertising the job security, pay, flexibility. they have never mentioned the torment and torture new grads experience. this forum has given me an ideal representation of nursing underneath the glory of pay & flexibility. no amount of money can compromise a person's dignity, respect, and pride. even though we are "new grads" we all come from different walks of life and different age groups, but at the end of the day we are all adult women that have a passion & drive for nursing. nursing school is headache enough no one should have to wake up everyday to a job they hate going too. this creates stress, broken families, and depression among nurses. it saddens me to see the new grads that have given up, lost their jobs, or just lost themselves in this field. after reading all this and being nervous & affraid i still wouldn't want to do anything else. i am thankful for this site because i am expecting the worst and i am just greatful to have many shoulders to lean on in this site and see people that are enduring the same tourture that i will have to and come out a survivor. realistically people outside this field could never understand the position of a nurse. it saddens me to see all of this animosity and anger towards new grads, i feel like they probably read these posts and get great pleasure and feel like their job is done. lets not give them the pleasure. lets go ahead and endure the torment, move forward, and make life easier for the next generation of nurses after us. lets never forget what happened to us as new grads, yes it will make us better nurses, but aren't their other ways. i hope you remain a nurse because patients need nurses like us to make their lives here on earth much easier.

    good luck & god bless :heartbeat
    even though we are "new grads" we all come from different walks of life and different age groups, but at the end of the day we are all adult women.......i am a man....
  11. by   god-is-love
    hi gcupid,

    i haven't forgotten about you men in the field, but it just seems to me reading these forums this issue is strongly between women. this usually occurs in fields that are dominated by women. i am not sure if "new grad" men have the same problems as "new grad" women, but if so i would definitely like to hear about them. it would be interesting to see the different/similar situations that men & women have experienced on the job since they graduated. if you know of any times you/ some1 else have been run over and taken advantage of by the experienced rn i think all of us would like to hear your story from a male perspective of the torment of "new grads". :heartbeat
  12. by   Coffee Nurse
    I'm about to finish up month 3 in a level III NICU, and I work part-time at Starbucks. Coworkers at both jobs are always surprised to hear that I've kept up the part-time gig since starting in the hospital, but it's honestly refreshing to be able to go to work and just turn off my brain, and not have to worry about anything more life-threatening than a customer complaining that I made a drink wrong.
  13. by   god-is-love
    [font=book antiqua]hi coffeenurse, :spin:
    [font=book antiqua]
    [font=book antiqua]that is very interesting to know that u still hold ur part-time position. do you work full-time in the nicu? are u remaining @ starbucks because u r not sure if you like ur job @ the hospital? just curious. :heartbeat
  14. by   Coffee Nurse
    Yes, I work at the hospital full time, and no, I'm staying at Starbucks for as long as it's feasible because I enjoy my coworkers and because, like I said, it's such a low-stress place to work compared to the NICU. I love my nursing job, but I need a place to relax, where I don't have to be constantly worried about something going wrong.

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