Really disappointed in myself

Nurses New Nurse

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I am so disappointed in myself. After graduating nursing school I received my temporary license and started looking for a job. NOTHING!! So I thought "Ok maybe they want me to have my REAL license" Ok so I passed Nclex..got my RN license and went on 6 interviews. After numerous "Thank you for your interest in this job but unfortunately..." emails, i finally landed a job. 7p-7a OF course lol because thats what I hear they mainly give new nurses. Ok so I go to work all happy and ecstatic that Ive found a job and I was so eager to learn..thats when all the bs started. Firstly, overnight shifts dont work well for me. Im tired on all of my off days and all I do is sleep. Im always so cranky. I have only been in orientation for 4 weeks and I never (I mean never) see my 1 year old baby and my husband. My husband tries to be so supportive but I know him very well. He hates that I work overnight. Secondly, the orientation SUCKS. I feel like Im my preceptors assistant rather than training to be on my own. All I hear is "GET me this and GET me that". The job is Rehab and all I do is lift, tuck, and pull. My poor back is horrible. I just dont know what to do. People tell me to try to stick around and see if anything gets better but im not so sure. Everything there is so unorganized. People are always late (45 minutes or more) to take report.The manager says they are "looking" into ways to stop that. After working all d*** night, I want to go home. Thepatient ratio is sometimes 1:12 (seriously) . I cry on my way to work and I cry on my way back. Im so disappointed in myself because I busted my a** in school so that i could make a better life for my family and I just feel so let down. I know every job has its faults but Im thinking if I feel like this 4 weeks in..Im scared to think how I would be 4 months or years from now. I need advice, should I try to see if I can switch to days? Should I stay a couple of months and try to find something new? I know for certain that rehab is not for me, so maybe I should look into another area. I just refuse to let a job get me so stressed that Im cranky all the time. I have a kid thats watching me closely and I refuse to be anything less than the best mom I can be. IDK, Im crying as I type this. HELP! I know some people say it takes 6 months to a year to adjust, but I HIGHLY DOUBT i will be there that long.

I am not one to tell someone to stick out a new job if it is miserable. I personally had a good experience with my orientation, so I can't relate to that. I can relate to the bad back thing. It only took me 2 months to ruin my back (I think I have a bulging disk or something). I have been suffering in pain for two years because of that. I am glad they are going to let you try days! It is good to know you can show up 45 minutes late if you feel like it ;). That I would not put up with, I am the first person to punch out right at 7:30 each morning when I work. I have kids at home to get on the bus. Good luck! I hope days are better or you find a job you actually like and want to keep.

Thanks for replying Novice Nurse...the tardiness is unbelievable and you're expected to stay over because the charge nurses refuse to take report (even though they dont have any patients). I just figure I would give it until the first of the year. If things dont get better or if Im still having a hard time adjusting, i will seek employment elsewhere. Like I stated before, Ive worked too hard to just settle. This is sad.

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