Wow, you guys are really hitting the nail on the head. at least we arent alone! I guess we must learn to apologize, since unlike them, when were were born the doctor didnt smack us on the but and yell "ITS A NURSE":hatparty:
My first preceptor tried to ridicule me and questioned every tiny thing I did when I hadnt even done anything wrong, only differently than her. Just a couple of examples are rolling he eyes and laughing at me when I wanted to listen to lung sounds before trach suctioning as well as after (we were taught to do both so u can hear the quality both times and hopefully hear an improvement). Also, she would raise her voice and tell me NOOO.....thats not how you do it over minute things like changing a feeding pump bag (she insisted I fill the new bag before taking the first one down---who cares, it takes less than a minute to do the whole process. its no different than putting it on hold to give meds.) And even down to asking me why I changed a diaper a certain way (who cares as long as I get it on) AND, get this, even how I washed a patients hair. I had to walk away a couple of times to get away from her so I didnt go off on her.
Maybe its supposed to be like the marines where they break u down till u think u are nothing and then build u back up into a superiority complex (which is what many of them have)...lol.
I felt so much better on my last orientation day when I had an awesome preceptor who showed me how to do things and didnt talk down to me or order me around. She also said she was impressed by me and that she wouldnt have guessed I was new by watching me. She said I knew more than lots of nurses who werent new but came from a different setting, and that the patient I had cared for was their hardest patient so if I could take care of him I could take care of any other their other patients easily. He was a 20 y/o amputee on a vent with a trach and G tube. the setting is a childrens group home for medically fragile kids. I actually loved taking care of him.
My sister told me that you have to realize what brought u to nursing and dont let anyone make u think u arent good enough. Dont let anyone break your spirit. You are new and fresh and some are old and bitter. She says she thinks it has to do with women being catty and I cant really argue. Think of it, as a profession in general, Doctors (who are men for the most part) have each others back, but nurses will turn on each other in a hearbeat.
She also said that even though its hard when u are new, u have to set your limits and stand up for yourself bc nobody else is going to stand up for you. If u let ppl know that you will take their sh* then they will run all over you. If someone speaks to you in a bad way, you need to nip it in the bud bc if u dont then its your own fault for allowing their behavior. Look them in the eye and let them know they are crossing the line. Im gonna keep this in mind, since Ive always been the sweet, nonconfrontational, push over type. not gonna happen anymore. its all about demanding the respect you deserve as not only a nurse, but a human being. I have no problem with constructive criticism, its the belittling and being spoken to like a child that I wont tolerate. I know it is going to be hard to speak up for yourself, but once you do it, you will feel so empowered. Just because you are kind doesnt mean you are weak and youve got to let people know not to mistake the two.