Please Help-Tough Decisions

  1. 0
    Hi Everyone,

    So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and just so lost on what I should do. I've posted before on the roughness that is my career. I work in an ICU, graduated this past December. I had about 5 weeks of orientation, with the last 2 really being on my own. I feel like, for the most part, I'm smart enough to handle most situations. I'm working on DIM, will get ACLS next month, and will take ECCO this summer. So, I understand what I have been equipped to know (but feel almost useless in codes-besides giving compressions).

    I really thought this job would have been so different, and that I would enjoy it because of my love for the human heart. But I just dread going in everyday, to the point of being in tears because I just don't want to go. We don't have near enough staff, I have at least 2 patients every night, with sometimes 4. I take any and every patient but the fresh open heart from that day (I'm not trained yet, and refuse to take them). The head cardiovascular surgeon hates a lot of the staff (him and his PA's have actually gotten people to leave before they were fired). I've seen what it does to the nurses, and I'm in so much fear that this will happen to me next, I'm next in line. There are a couple nurses who constantly say that they HATE new grads, I don't belong there, and I should just leave. They have tried to throw me under the bus many times. I'm depressed. I'm starting to regret my decision to become a nurse and that gets me like you can't even imagine.

    So, I've tried applying elsewhere to no avail. I know what type of nursing I want to do, but know I must pay my dues. Except, one thing I love is mental health (most nurses give me the stink eye for this-whatever, it takes an amazing person to be there)

    Sorry this is getting long-my point...I applied to a camp nurse position for the summer. They really want me. The pay isn't as good, but I love kids. I will gain experience in "triage, ER, peds" etc. It's only 2 months. When I get back, I will have nothing (assuming I will quit my job). I may have a very hard time finding something again. I really want to take the risk anyway. But my husband is right, we will have no benefits, and there will go a source of income. (I am a certified phlebotomist, so I can always try that route). Or work in a daycare or something. But I don't want to just throw my nursing career away. We had planned on me working Per Diem when the time is right to have children, so he will either pay for insurance or find a job with benefits at that time (1-2years).

    So, any advice? What do you all think I should do? I really need an outsiders perspective. I do have about 2-3 applications out, and have been speaking with nurse recruiters. The camp position really wants my decision by early next week. I really am at a loss. I think I would go for it if my husband was game and we wouldn't lose my benefits. Help. And Thank you!

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  2. 3 Comments...

  3. 0
    Quote from NewNervousNurse
    Hi Everyone,

    So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and just so lost on what I should do. I've posted before on the roughness that is my career. I work in an ICU, graduated this past December. I had about 5 weeks of orientation, with the last 2 really being on my own. I feel like, for the most part, I'm smart enough to handle most situations. I'm working on DIM, will get ACLS next month, and will take ECCO this summer. So, I understand what I have been equipped to know (but feel almost useless in codes-besides giving compressions).

    I really thought this job would have been so different, and that I would enjoy it because of my love for the human heart. But I just dread going in everyday, to the point of being in tears because I just don't want to go. We don't have near enough staff, I have at least 2 patients every night, with sometimes 4. I take any and every patient but the fresh open heart from that day (I'm not trained yet, and refuse to take them). The head cardiovascular surgeon hates a lot of the staff (him and his PA's have actually gotten people to leave before they were fired). I've seen what it does to the nurses, and I'm in so much fear that this will happen to me next, I'm next in line. There are a couple nurses who constantly say that they HATE new grads, I don't belong there, and I should just leave. They have tried to throw me under the bus many times. I'm depressed. I'm starting to regret my decision to become a nurse and that gets me like you can't even imagine.

    So, I've tried applying elsewhere to no avail. I know what type of nursing I want to do, but know I must pay my dues. Except, one thing I love is mental health (most nurses give me the stink eye for this-whatever, it takes an amazing person to be there)

    Sorry this is getting long-my point...I applied to a camp nurse position for the summer. They really want me. The pay isn't as good, but I love kids. I will gain experience in "triage, ER, peds" etc. It's only 2 months. When I get back, I will have nothing (assuming I will quit my job). I may have a very hard time finding something again. I really want to take the risk anyway. But my husband is right, we will have no benefits, and there will go a source of income. (I am a certified phlebotomist, so I can always try that route). Or work in a daycare or something. But I don't want to just throw my nursing career away. We had planned on me working Per Diem when the time is right to have children, so he will either pay for insurance or find a job with benefits at that time (1-2years).

    So, any advice? What do you all think I should do? I really need an outsiders perspective. I do have about 2-3 applications out, and have been speaking with nurse recruiters. The camp position really wants my decision by early next week. I really am at a loss. I think I would go for it if my husband was game and we wouldn't lose my benefits. Help. And Thank you!
    1. Would your current job give you a leave of absence for 2 mths?
    2. If you are truly looking for a new job you should have 100 resumes out, not 2-3
    3. As much as you may hate the ICU the experience you are getting is invaluable! Most new grads have to go into LTC and then have trouble getting a hospital job
    4. Although you may really want to take this camp job, if it will put your family in dire straights, I would stick with the steady job
    5. You shouldn't have too much trouble finding another job with the experience you have. I'm not saying stay with a job you hate, but to pay the bills sometimes it has to be that way
    6. Have you tried applying to PICU?

    Sorry that was long. I feel your pain. I worked jobs I hated for 2.5 years until I landed something I love. Good luck to you!
  4. 0
    Thank you so much for taking the time to reply.
    1. I really doubt they would give me the leave. They are just way too short staffed. I get calls every day I'm off to pick up shifts.
    2. I applied to many, but got so discouraged, so only have 2 or 3 out now to local hospitals. I think I have to start shooting them off again. I really only have 3 hospitals in close proximity. I really wanted to stay close, but I'm giving that up.
    3. I agree. I feel I was lucky enough to get the position, and am very appreciative. It's just starting to suck the life out of me.
    4. Thank you for that input. Losing benefits would be really hard, and I don't want to put my husband in that position.
    5. You're right. I think that's the reason I've been going at it for 3.5 months. The paycheck is very nice. I'm thinking other facilities see me as someone who "jumps ship" and would be afraid of retention with me. But I really want to get in a nice facility, and my next position, I plan to at least give 2 years to that specific unit.
    6. I would love to work in PICU. Within a 2 hour radius, there are no positions open. I will look further out.

    Thank you so much!
  5. 0
    If you don't like your job don't feel as though you need to stay. I went through 5 jobs in a 3 year period to find the one I like!


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