No luck finding a job; just want some advice

[Katja508]

Hi guys!

Background: I just graduated nursing school with my ADN on Friday (5/9/14) and plan on taking the NCLEX as soon as possible.

So, I just got the email 3 days ago telling me that I didn't get my dream job. It was a new grad externship program that has been in my long-term plan since I started my pre-reqs. I really thought I had a shot and was "being considered" and everything I've applied for probably a hundred jobs since January and have only had one phone interview. I'm applying everywhere, LTC included. I was hoping I'd have a job offer before graduation.

I know that when I pass the NCLEX, they may look on me a little better but then I'll be fighting against all the other new grads. I feel like I missed my chance.

The biggest reason I want to get a job so quickly is so that my husband and I can start a family. It's really the only thing I want out of life and I feel like I just keep putting it off for nursing and I'm not getting any traction in return.

I guess I'm just hoping for advice. I really want to pass the NCLEX and then start trying to conceive but I know that would look terrible when I do eventually go back. Would it look better if I went straight to getting my BSN while (hopefully) staying home with a baby and then going back? Should I just put it off longer? It really breaks my heart to do so, but I don't want to feel like the last 4 years have been for naught. I also thought we'd be more financially stable when we had a baby.

I'm just at a crossroads here and I feel like it could go either way. This is also compounded by us wanting to relocate from Chicago to St. Louis to be closer to family. We can't do that until one of us has a job and neither of us are having luck! Just really frustrated with all of this.

Thanks for reading! Any advice is appreciated!

[Nola009]

Excuse me, but how would having a child with your husband look "terrible" at any point? I'd say you could start ttc today. Or any other day! Whatever. And btw, employers will only take you seriously when you have that LICENSE they can use, abuse, profit from, etc. Focus on passeng the nclex 1st!

[livefully]

Only you can answer that question.

However, I will say this, if i were in your position, I'd look for a job, and start an online BSN program, once the job has been secured, I'd start ttc a year later, do i can qualify for FMLA.

[Katja508]

I know you guys are right. Waiting until I'd qualify for FMLA was the original plan. But I also thought I'd have a job I could start in June so I could start ttc this year. It's just so hard! Especially with the average time for new grads securing jobs being about 6 months. That puts babies at least 2 years from now.

I just keep putting off one of the most important things in my life. I'm ready and my husband is ready but life is not cooperating!

Thanks for the advice, guys!

[trishmsn]

I may be off-base, but it would not surprise me that your overwhelming desire to be a mommy, using the job as a vehicle for getting to this goal, does not show through in your interactions with prospective employers.

Experienced nurse managers and HR folks can "smell" this sort of desperation, much in the same way that a woman who is dead set on getting married can run off a potential date/mate with those vibes. They would rather hire a new grad who is bonkers with excitement over his/her career and the learning/advancement that could come with it.

Just a thought. By the way, I was an infertility patient myself, so I understand that kind of longing. BUT, unless you are up in age or have a good medical reason for being concerned about your fertility, I would re-think your priorities and timing. If you cannot live without being a parent, go ahead and get pregnant and deal with the job stuff later. If that is not an option, focus on the job and enjoying your hubby for now, and put the baby stuff on a back burner for a bit.

[Katja508]

Thank you for your input! I don't think I'm using the job as a vehicle to get to baby. I look at it more like they are parallel dreams and getting them on the same track is proving difficult. My yearning for a baby right now just seems to be the louder train! :)

I actually have PCOS and suspected endo so we're not sure how ttc will go. That's definitely part of it. I'm relatively young (28) but my husband is 6 years older so age is a factor, too.

I'm also really mad at myself for not starting this journey sooner. I could be a year or two out and have a job secured and be thinking about babies now.

Again, thank you for your advice. I think not the dream job threw my plans into a tailspin and I just need to figure some things out.