New Nurse...Need advice on dealing with death

Propranolol · Sep 21, 2009, 02:41 PM

hello,
i have been thinking of the same thing lately. i have had 2 patients die that i took care of while in the hospital in the last 2-3 weeks. another on hospice. saw her from when she was diagnosed to her hospice bed. learning about there passing is shocking sometimes. you don't think they are going to die anytime soon and BOOM, they passed away. usually a doctor might let you know what happened to them or someone reads it in the newspaper. especially in the last 1-2 months, i have been more tired and feeling depressed, sort of. anyway, just wanted to let you know, you are not alone. oh, i'm a new grad. started in april. so i know i'm still learning how to deal with certain things and situations. take care.

CCU_RN_2008 · Oct 05, 2009, 03:26 AM

I am really proud of everyone that has responded to this post and all of the others on this great site. I am the original poster of this message and although I have come a long way, it is still hard to deal with the death of a patient. After going back and re-reading my original message and all of the posts that followed it makes me feel honored to be in such a great profession where we support each other and provide constructive feedback as well as years and years of experience. Where I work, I do not always feel this supported and looked out for. I am also happy to know that my post has helped others dealing with similiar feelings. I have seen many more deaths since I posted this back in Dec 2008. Each one affects me differently and each one helps me grow. Back in Decemeber I tried talking to my mom about how I was feeling (actually I tried talking to just about anyone that would listen! but my mom's response surprised me most). My mom questioned my career choice and asked if I was strong enough to do this. Since that day I have known that I am strong enough to make a positive impact on my patients and their families. I know that is not what she meant. She meant that I shouldn't feel what I was feeling (sad, hopeless, confused, torn, disturbed) and I needed to "get over it". And my response to that is if I ever stop feeling and stop seeing patients as people...I need to get out of Nursing. That is not what nursing is to me. Thank you all so much for the love and support. xoxo

SALLYRNRRT · Oct 05, 2009, 03:54 AM

Originally Posted by CCU_RN_2008

I am really proud of everyone that has responded to this post and all of the others on this great site. I am the original poster of this message and although I have come a long way, it is still hard to deal with the death of a patient. After going back and re-reading my original message and all of the posts that followed it makes me feel honored to be in such a great profession where we support each other and provide constructive feedback as well as years and years of experience. Where I work, I do not always feel this supported and looked out for. I am also happy to know that my post has helped others dealing with similiar feelings. I have seen many more deaths since I posted this back in Dec 2008. Each one affects me differently and each one helps me grow. Back in Decemeber I tried talking to my mom about how I was feeling (actually I tried talking to just about anyone that would listen! but my mom's response surprised me most). My mom questioned my career choice and asked if I was strong enough to do this. Since that day I have known that I am strong enough to make a positive impact on my patients and their families. I know that is not what she meant. She meant that I shouldn't feel what I was feeling (sad, hopeless, confused, torn, disturbed) and I needed to "get over it". And my response to that is if I ever stop feeling and stop seeing patients as people...I need to get out of Nursing. That is not what nursing is to me. Thank you all so much for the love and support. xoxo

exactly, I am very proud of you, and WE NEED YOU!!

Propranolol · Oct 05, 2009, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by CCU_RN_2008

I am really proud of everyone that has responded to this post and all of the others on this great site. I am the original poster of this message and although I have come a long way, it is still hard to deal with the death of a patient. After going back and re-reading my original message and all of the posts that followed it makes me feel honored to be in such a great profession where we support each other and provide constructive feedback as well as years and years of experience. Where I work, I do not always feel this supported and looked out for. I am also happy to know that my post has helped others dealing with similiar feelings. I have seen many more deaths since I posted this back in Dec 2008. Each one affects me differently and each one helps me grow. Back in Decemeber I tried talking to my mom about how I was feeling (actually I tried talking to just about anyone that would listen! but my mom's response surprised me most). My mom questioned my career choice and asked if I was strong enough to do this. Since that day I have known that I am strong enough to make a positive impact on my patients and their families. I know that is not what she meant. She meant that I shouldn't feel what I was feeling (sad, hopeless, confused, torn, disturbed) and I needed to "get over it". And my response to that is if I ever stop feeling and stop seeing patients as people...I need to get out of Nursing. That is not what nursing is to me. Thank you all so much for the love and support. xoxo

well said.

*hotflashion* · Oct 08, 2009, 11:25 PM

Everyone has written such great replies to this thread, but I didn't see mention of the excellent book How We Die: Reflections on Life's Final Chapter by Sherwin Nuland, MD, so there it is.