I graduated in May and got my license in July. It took me until October to find a job due to lack of experience and that I have my ADN. I'm prone to depression/anxiety but its been years since I've had a major episode. I take Prozac and Buspar daily which do not seem to help. I work at a nursing home on night shift (7p-7a). I get two halls, one in Ortho Rehab and the other is long term/hospice. I can have up to 33 pts at full capacity. Since my first night there I've been nothing but a wreck. I've lost 19lbs since Oct 9. I can't sleep and can't eat. I'll come home exhausted with thoughts raving through my head of the night and patients and sleep between 1-2hrs before waking up in a panic and then have a crying spell for up to an hour. I feel completely inadequate as a RN. I wonder what they even taught us in nursing school. My husband has health problems so about 3 years ago we did a role reversal and now he is a stay at home dad. We have a 9 and a 5 year old. I also find it terribly depressing and lonely trying to sleep during the day. Our room is dark and I haves fan and humidifier to mask noises. I wake up sick constantly, either vomiting or just dry heaving. I have a doc apt on Monday to see about my meds. I'm exhausted and feel drained. I can't quit because I'm the only one making money and the job market is terrible. Please tell me it gets easier and not so terrifying. I start on my own Monday night and I want to cry.