New Male Nurse x 5 months and still anxious..super dooper anxious!

newdude
I agree with the other posters, the transition from student to nursing practice is stressful, even distressing. As you get more experience you will become more confident and relaxed and the dread of going to work will become an occasional feeling not a regular feeling.
Patricia Benner described the different stages in a nurse's career in her book From Novice to Expert; Excellence and Power in Clinical Nursing Practice. I don't know if you read this book in nursing school, or if you are familiar with Benner's work, but this book is worth reading no matter where you are in your nursing career.
kindest regards
dishes

Is there any way you could come off noc shift and try days? With the stress level being what it is for a new nurse, the total disruption of your internal clock could really excerbate all the anxiety you're feeling. I've not done nights, myself, but I know several new nurses who found that the anxiety level decreased somewhat for them in moving from nights to days just because they were finally resting. Night shift is HARD! (bless all of you nightshifters!) And if you're not person who is wired to do them, it could definitely make the perfectly normal (and it is normal, and very common) new grad anxiety unbearable. Just a thought.

Dude, just a thought for you to toss around. I see you truly are a newbie to this board. A therapeutic intervention for you might be to stop by once in a while and impart your wisdom to others in need here. I am sure you have volumes of knowledge already.

Also, well known is the fact that you are now in the "other world" of healthcare in practice. Check yourself and any hard feelings you might get with your family's not being able to understand. They never will unless unusually perceptive. Someone told me this is akin to "jumping in" (joining) a gang. This is not a world like any other, you have to be special to get in. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes it's not. Hang out here when you need to vent and just plain come out and ask for a hug... knew you really wanted one, that's why I ran up and grabbed you

Wanted to add, your benefits should probably have in them a source/allowance for psychiatric help. I think most places have a hospital appointed psych specialist for us to go and discuss things with, plus an allowance of maybe 10 visits to an outside psychiatrist or psychologist (maybe a $25 deductable per visit)?

My situation was different than yours, but when my mother suddenly had a terminal illness, everything changed, and I needed help to cope with life and work. I choose a psychologist (no drugs), and that was a very beneficial thing for me to do! Believe me, I liked to think that I could handle things on my own (never thought I'd be participating in psychotherapy sessions - and it felt wierd), but it was an option available to me...

New Dude,

I remember when I was a new RN in the early 1980's working in a large publicly funded and owned trauma center in Northern California. I was assigned in a neurology/neuro-surgery/otolaryngology step down unit, with chemo to spice things up a bit more. I was in my mid-20's and in one year I felt 10 years older! My wife told me I had changed. No kidding.

I had 1 1/2 years LVN experience in the same hospital before I became an RN but I felt that I had to learn everything all over again. To make matters worse, no one among the veteran RNs wanted to be the charge nurse when our regular charge nurse had the night off (They all knew something I did not know?). So imagine my terror when on the first week after my night orientation they told me, "You are the charge night tonight!!!" I was a just rookie, for crying out loud! Good thing these days it's almost guaranteed that that will never happen in that hospital again. Charge nurses in that hospital now have to be highly experienced nurses and picked by the nurse manager, and have to go through another training as charge nurses.

Knowing what I know now and what I have seen these almost 30 years as a nurse, I would not advice a new RN with no experience to start working in a step down unit or in the ICU. I certainly don't want a new-grad RN taking care of me as a patient or any of my loved ones in the ICU. That RN may have been the brightest student nurse but experience counts a lot.

After working there for almost 28 years I took early retirement from that public hospital almost a year ago this month, and I am doing a different line of nursing for the past six months. I have very little stress and I enjoy my new job. What is it? I can tell you but then I have to...tickle you to death. (Well dude, I take that back...about tickling you!) Dude.

About being stressed at your job, well, hospital nursing per se is a very stressful job. You are not alone. Listen to the many advice experienced nurses have given you. Take good care of yourself, physically, mentally and emotionally. I almost went bananas myself but I discovered that I truly enjoyed jogging. Ten years later when my right knee could no longer take the pounding, I switched to brisk walking and believe me, the outdoors, fresh air, and nature's beauty kept me sane. Do something that you enjoy to "de-stress" yourself. ....just as long it is not alcohol, drugs or any other harmful substance. Those will make things worse for you.

Of course you already know that. Dude.

It's hard, isn't it? After six years of floor nursing, I transferred to ICU and for the first 8 months, I felt as though I would fall apart after every shift. I was petrified of going into work. I felt over my head and as though I would never ever actually get it. But I did, or at least, I can look back and see I've made significant strides in my critical care learning curve.

I think that some of us have a harder time adapting to new situations, especially new situations wherein we are not in full control. I do not like being the one who doesn't have the answers. I definitely don't like not understanding what is happening to my patient. It makes me bonkers! But once I am over this hump, I think I will perform very well as an ICU nurse. But for a while, I wasn't so sure.

Stick with it a while. Give yourself at least a year and then if you still don't feel good about it, change specialties. Good luck!

I get depressed too... And I can relate to the spouse/family not understanding. It's hard to try and vent about work to someone that's not in the medical field. They just think I'm crazy!

Dude, it isn't just you! Canoe had it right--you're at the point where you are finally competent to see how far over your head you are. For me, 5-6 months was the nadir, but the whole first year was like a rollercoaster with very few ups. I hope you are doing all you can to form good relationships with the more experienced nurses around you.
Forget benzos. Take a little time before you leave for work to take some deep breaths. Talk to yourself. Yes, it's possible you are in the wrong place at the wrong time, but regular acuity med/surg ain't no picnic, bucko. It's all hard. If you are in the wrong place, you probably don't need to ask anyone. If you think you might be in the wrong place, you're probably fine, so look at it this way: if you can survive the next 6-7 months, you can survive the next couple of years, and by then there won't be anything you can't do. That's not to say you'll be anything like an expert, but you'll have all the tools you need to work toward becoming an expert. Plus, by then, there will probably be some hapless newbies around who are so lost, they'll think you have the answers. Cool!

Relax, it gets easier.

You're not alone. I've been a nurse for 3 years and I already fantasize about some sort of low-responsibility job where I won't feel responsible for someone else's life.

I come to this site to find people who understand the job.

Don't be afraid to ask for help--no one does this job alone.

Realize that no one does this job perfectly--impossible in my opinion. Do the best you can--and, yes, I have trouble accepting that as I am also type A but it's just the way it is.

Another thing that helps me is that I generally only work 8-hour shifts. I know that is not always possible and means you have to go to work more days of the week but for me an 8-hour shift is much less daunting than a 12 and it works best for me--just something to think about.