Must move with only 4 mos in 1st RN job (hubby job xfer)!!

stephaniemaried · Mar 27, 2013

How far away is his new job?

To be honest I don't see any probable options besides you staying for a few months. BUT TRY!!! See what happens! Apply! :) You never know!!

My parents have had a "commuter marriage" for the last 8 years so I know it stinks, but it can be done :) My dad's job is in CA but our family moved to beautiful CO thinking he would transfer after a year. Now he can only visit 1 week every two months and the occasional long weekend but they make it work. At least it is only for a short time. Do it for the baby, definitely sounds like the second income will be needed, so although it's not ideal, you're a nurse, you can handle it :)

serenitylove14 · Mar 28, 2013

So he has a promotion and needs to move out of state but cant afford to loose your income???? Then why are you moving? No Im kidding but seriously I understand him trying to fulfill his dreams, but if him getting the promotion and moving and knowing you wont have a job will affect your finances then maybe you guys need to have a sit down talk.

Also why dont you apply to every job possible at this new place now! Get in contact with the nurse managers, explain your situation, hopefully you will get a bite or two. Also look on careerbuilder, craigslist, and the state job website.

Also how pregnant are you? I know they cant discriminate but they do. You dont have to tell them. Also you could look for parttime or prn positions.

ReasonInTheMadness · Mar 28, 2013

Hi, thanks for the replies!

I am about 3 mos. pregnant, not really showing yet so I could just not mention the pregnancy in interviews. I just don't think that's a good way to start a new work relationship...

I've been searching already...not a lot of listings in the new market. Even though my husband would get a salary increase it would be a net loss in income if we lose my RN salary. Ugh.

He said tonight that it is not final and he hasn't officially accepted. He said he will probably decline the position based on our current circumstances, but I know how disappointed he will be.

I will start sending out resumes and put out the "feelers" to see what I can find but the new market doesn't seem to have as many RN jobs as where we live now. Also as a new RN with less than 6 mos. experience it will be difficult I am sure.

Linda0 · Mar 28, 2013

I had to move out of state just after graduating. I lost all contacts and had to grab the first job, LTC. Guess what? I can not get out of LTC. The first week I thought I would go brain dead, as it is not for an RN. It is a Med Tech job.

I can understand the stress building, after all the years, blood sweat and tears it takes to get to where many many many women can not.

After scouring for jobs that were not there since 2007, I have been told by 98% of HR's I must have 1 or 2 recent years experience in the specific unit I am applying for.

Whatever happens I wish the best for you both, and no worries for baby! You are very lucky, as I had waited too long and now the thing I wanted most in life has past me by because I was caught up in the bills and not having a life.

With all the countries going bankrupt and their banks stealing deposits, I guess we're pretty darn lucky.

God Bless!

BSNbeauty, BSN, RN · Mar 28, 2013

What a tough situation to be in. You guys really have to sit and talk this one out. I don't have any suggestions. Just ((((hugs))))

Trueblood83 · Mar 28, 2013

My personal experience is this....My husband and I had a long distance relationship during college. He lived in Mississippi and I lived in Arkansas. After college he was going to move where I lived. I already had a job lined up in the ICU. He decided to stay on at his school for another 1 1/2 years to get his Master's degree though, and I ended up moving there. Like Linda0 said above, "I lost all my contacts and had to grab the first job". This was sort of my situation. I took a job in PCU with the promise that I could move to ICU later. Well, I had to move after my husband finished up school. So next place I did the same thing again. Took first job offer in Telemetry unit that promised I could move to PCU once it opened, and then on to ICU. WELL, we moved again. lol I was already burned out on the floor by this time so I went in to school nursing next. We moved this last year Again, but this is our last move. I STILL have not found a job this time, but I am being more picky this time. I am not willing to work nights again. Anyway, my point to all of this is that right now if you have a job that you like I would stick with it until you find something in new location. I feel like I had a great opportunity all ready for me right out of school that I would have really liked, and I have not been in a postition that I've really liked since. Like an above poster said, start calling HR, offices, ect now so you can see what's out there. You could even let HR/Manager know that you are willing to do a phone interview first, and if that went well drive/fly to them for a follow up interview. My sister landed a job out of state by doing this. I know this is tough though! Good luck to you!!

mt3 · Mar 29, 2013

My husband and I have been in this situation for the last 10 years, moving every 1-4 years, with 3 kids. In my experience, his company has to make it worth the move...paying broker fees on selling your house, cost of living increases (if it is more expensive in the new state), actually paying for the move, etc. Do your research on the cost of living because sometimes you end up losing money even though he is getting a promotion. During our moves, we have always had 3-6 months of commuting before we catch up with each other. It really isn't bad because there is an end in sight. But I believe you have to have a strong marriage to survive it.

And you have to consider your insurance benefits to cover the pregnancy, your PDOs, and covered maternity leave. Do you have free babysitters from family? Will you lose that if you move? Add it all up!!

Another thing to consider is the time it takes to get licensed in a different state. Will that take months? Will you been "very pregnant" by then?

It is stressful every time we move but it has been the only way my husband has been able to "climb the corporate ladder" and make the most of his potential. My kids are in middleschool and highschool now, my husband will be moving to a new job withing the next 2 months, I will stay put until they graduate...5 years!! (He has been in our current state less than a year). I will go prn when he leaves to make sure I am home when needed by the kids and am home when he comes on the weekends.

IMHO...from experience...he should never give up a promotion if there is a financial gain and an opportunity for learning a different area of the company. That could secure his future. If financially possible, I would stay at the current job until the baby is born, and in the meatime get as many certifications as you can. Then move and take a great maternity leave. Job Search while on maternity leave. Then you will have your year of experience, certifications and will be marketable.

Good luck!

BunnyBunny · Mar 29, 2013

That's def a tough situation. You're right it is hard to find a job as a new grad, especially since the application always says "at least one year". I would stay and continue to work for as long as you can, at least 2 more months so it can be 6 month of experience. These days you gotta do what you gotta do. Good luck

allnurses Guide · Mar 29, 2013

Does your current company own any hospitals in the new city? If so, can you arrange a transfer? Then you don't lose benefits.

goalienrse · Mar 29, 2013

Just be careful. Not only is the market tough but sometimes so can the work place. If your comfortable where you are and like your management and coworkers, well, I would hate to see you leave that so early in your career and go to a place that doesn't exactly appreciate you. Its all about building a foundation in nursing. Proving you can be a success somewhere for a while, esp at first.

I'm in a bad situation right now, didn't have to move, but to make a long story short I moved jobs too early in my career at a place I was comfortable with after graduation, to the exact opposite environment, bc i thought it was my dream job. It wasn't.

Diffrent situation in a way, but not really. 4 mos wont count for much either.

But its you and your familys decision, just take some time to think it over. All the best.

Music in My Heart · Mar 29, 2013

We've done the commuter marriage twice, 1 year each time, and it's hard... but manageable.

Be wary of dumping yourself into the no-man's-land of not being a new grad but not having at least 1-2 years of work experience... you could find yourself locked out of the market.

However, your spouse needs to be wary of refusing a new assignment... in the corporate world, that can mark a person as damaged goods and can lead to a downward spiral and eventual release through the inevitable force reductions. There's also the need to continue to keep oneself as near as possible to the growing revenue streams.

It's hard, very hard, to navigate one's entire career through a large company.