inapproprate RN on staff

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I am a new nurse on a unit and one of the staff RNs at the hospital has behaved very inappropriately toward me. She has never spoken to me or introduced herself or anything. Yet she goes around inquiring personal and confidential information about me. I have been on the unit for awhile and I didn't pass boards first time around but didn't disclose it and continued to work as a tech and at that time she went around asking people whether or not I had passed my boards instead of asking me. Now that I have passed I moved to a different unit and she asks nurses she knows over there about me if I have passed yet,( which I have) then she tells them "Well I don't think she passed the first time." I think it is very inappropriate and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't even know her and she's never spoken to me. How should I approach this? Should I tell a manager?

Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

Just simply approach her and tell her that if she needs to know any information, to come to you.

Problem solved.

Specializes in Staff nurse.

Don't let her get you down, and sirI has good advice also. You can get all in a tizzy over this one nurse or "ignore" her. :)

I agree with SirI. I would just walk up to her and ask her if she had any questions about me.

Specializes in NICU.

What are you gonna tell the manager? It's "he said, she said" stuff. Just go to her and ask her what's up.

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

One of the traits most new nurses need to develop is assertivenes. It goes hand in hand with confidence. That is to say, as you become more confident, you'll become more assertive, because you have to. But it can work the other way, too. Asserting yourself, in a mature, positive way, can help build your confidence. Every challenge you overcome builds confidence.

So approaching this nurse and calmly expressing the views you expressed here would be a good thing.

It is true that not everyone will receive this feedback in a positive way. Well, she might not be your friend, afterwards, but she isn't, now, so no loss there. Main thing is, she'll know she can't act this way without getting called on it.

Personally, I wouldn't mention going to management, and I probably wouldn't go to management unless it got worse. But that has a lot to do with knowing my management. Your manager might be more proactive about resolving such matters, but many would rather not hear about it.

Specializes in Transplant, homecare, hospice.

I think it would blow her mind if you went to her and said politely, that you HAVE passed and you enjoy your job...or something to that effect. Approaching her is definitely the right thing as long as you don't engage in an arguement. When you approach her, it will do a couple of things...more than likely, she may talk about you less....because she knows that her inquiries are getting back to you....someone has spoken and she won't know who. So more than likely, she will be careful who she talks to. Rightfully so. It will also show her that you are independent and able to handle your own problems.

If you feel uncomfortable about approaching her and this really bothers you, then by all means, go to your NM.

Best wishes!

I am a new nurse on a unit and one of the staff RNs at the hospital has behaved very inappropriately toward me. She has never spoken to me or introduced herself or anything. Yet she goes around inquiring personal and confidential information about me. I have been on the unit for awhile and I didn't pass boards first time around but didn't disclose it and continued to work as a tech and at that time she went around asking people whether or not I had passed my boards instead of asking me. Now that I have passed I moved to a different unit and she asks nurses she knows over there about me if I have passed yet,( which I have) then she tells them "Well I don't think she passed the first time." I think it is very inappropriate and it makes me uncomfortable because I don't even know her and she's never spoken to me. How should I approach this? Should I tell a manager?
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I pretty much agree with the other posters -- but want to emphasize that you should not make a big deal about it. OK. So someone at your workplace is doing something you don't like. Unless she is actually hurting you, it's best not to make a big fuss. A big fuss will only make you look worse in everyone's eyes -- as if you can't handle the normal ups and downs of interpersonal relations.

Simply say to her something like, "I heard you were asking about me. Yes, I did pass my boards on my second try. I had an 'off day' the first time. If there is anything else you want to know, feel free to ask me directly rather than go through the rumor mill where things can get distorted." Say it with a smile on your face, and preferably in front of a witness.

That let's her know ... that you know ... she has been gossiping about you ... and that you will respond to any misinformation or hurtful gossiping that might occur. And it doesn't start a fight. She'll probably lose interest and back off.

Then move on.

Some people have so little going on in their own lives they have to create attention on themselves by gossiping about others. You are not the first to have not passed your first time, and you won't be the last.

By reacting to her, you are giving her exactly what she wants...more attention. Unless you have to work directly with her, ignore her. When she gets no reaction from you, she'll probably move on to someone else.

If you do have to work with her, I would just go up to her and congratulate her..."I think it is wonderful you passed on your first attempt. Unfortunately, I didn't on my first attempt, but I did on my second...Doesn't it feel great to have those RNs behind our names?" Leave it at that. She isn't worth all of your energy.

Kris

Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.

I agree not to go to management and approach the nurse if you think it's that inappropriate.

Perhaps it's because I'm 48, or have been in supervisory positions, but I realize that people are going to talk about me behind my back. It just comes with the territory of interacting with other human beings. If it's not hurtful and most of it is just people talking, it doesn't bother me.

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