I thought I was done crying and feeling incompetent

Nurses New Nurse

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Hi I'm a new nurse, I've been out of orientation (which was ten weeks) for almost two months and eveyday I feel dumber and dumber. I work nightshift on a stepdown unit. My confidence(or lack thereof) is almost non existent. The things that I make mistakes at when I think back I feel that I shouldn't have made them. For instance I received a patient from a different hospital lastnight due to the blood pressure being very low. Now in the past when I've had a patient transfer I never had to call the doctor to let he/she know the patient had arrived. I should have known this time was different for the simple fact I couldn't release any of the orders (which I'm normally able to do). Anyway I assessed the patient and checked her bp and it was low...I rechecked and it actually came up and she was fine. Then during the wee hours of the morning the doctor calls and ask if the patient had arrived, I say well yes she's been here for a few hours now. He starts to reprimand me (not in a mean way) for not notifying him. I felt awful!!!! I told him that I was sorry and I wasn't aware that I had to notify him. Then he makes a really valid point and this is what gets me....he says "but there were no orders " and then it hits me like a ton of bricks, well duhhh!!!! Why didn't I go and seek out orders (it was totally my responsibility to do so as being the nurse)....sometimes it hard to believe I made it through one of the toughest nursing programs....it seems that my critical thinking skills havent arrived yet. This is just one of the dumb things I've done, I could tell you more but this post is long enough. I thought I left crying and the feeling of inadequacy in nursing school, but apparently I haven't bc I've been crying my eyes out. And don't get me started on the oncoming nurse when I give report she makes me feel even worse....It's like she confirms by her never ending questions and disapproving facial expressions that she makes that I am inadequate. I love nursing it's all I've ever wanted to do but I'm so sad and unsure of myself that I question if this is my calling. I will pray it gets better and continue to learn from my mistakes and try to make as less mistakes as possible.

CardinalFanRN

14 Posts

Hi... Just wanted to let you know I'm also working my first hospital job on a progressive care unit. I've been on almost a year. There are times that I still feel like I don't have it all together. But when ever I'm unsure of things I consult with my coworkers and my charge. Don't be afraid to ask questions. It will get better and easier the more you work! Good luck!

NYCRN21

22 Posts

Hi IHeart BSN RN, BSN

Ive been a night shift step down nurse for a year and a half and I still break down crying every now and then, especially if Ive made a mistake that I know is a stupid mistake (I hope that doesn't sound like I'm making mistakes all the time, but mistakes do happen occasionally!). Nursing is hard! Honestly, Id say youre very lucky that the doctor didn't give you an attitude because I know that mine would have haha. Never be afraid to ask questions and always make sure that your patients are stable! Find your resources on your unit and never be afraid to ask them questions! Nurses and doctors are always telling me you know more than you think you do”, you have to trust yourself a little more, which is super hard to do as a new nurse. i still have trouble trusting myself all the time. This mistake is something you will learn from and won't let happen again, and remember, ALWAYS trust your gut! You said you felt like something wasnt right because you couldnt release the order...you were right! Trust yourself and always follow up if you have ANY concerns- the confidence will come and the tears will become less frequent :) Good luck!!

elkpark

14,633 Posts

Nahh, you're never really done with crying and feeling incompetent ... It does get better, though. :)

Specializes in OB.

It's really normal to feel the way you do right now. Two months in is still very new! My first job as a nurse was also on nights, on a unit with 8 step-down beds in addition to the regular floor. Being new, they wanted us all to get experience in the step-down units first, so I was always there with 3-4 extremely sick surgical patients. I definitely cried a couple of times (although I tried, sometimes unsuccessfully, to do it in private) and had a lot of DUH moments. Also, working nights is unbelievably difficult in and of itself, and for me, added to my emotional lability. Hang in there, it will get better and you'll be proud of yourself looking back in a few years at how much tougher you are because of the experience.

NurseMaybeBaby

80 Posts

I think you are being a little hard on yourself. It's a mistake you will never make again. Patient is ok and that's what matters.

It will get better as you get more experience. It takes time. [emoji6]

Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

No human person is able to perform perfectly when faced with a brand new situation. Because it's NEW.

Words from a very wise person: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better - do better." Maya Angelou

I'll bet you never make this mistake again. But, because (I assume), you're 100% human - there will be other mistakes in the future. Recognize them when they happen, acknowledge your own role and accountability, determine what went wrong & how to prevent it from happening again, make amends if necessary ...... and move on. Eventually you will become more resilient and better able to cope with these bumps in the road. That's all they are... they do not define your worth.

diana13122

21 Posts

I have been at my position as a Nurse for almost two years and I have incompetent days...its just when you think you know and something hits the ground and that feeling inside that you made a mistake... the worst feeling for a "person"!!! Being a human being in Nursing is difficult at best some days.. I still cry...

NursehoneyBeBe

33 Posts

Hi I'm a new nurse, I've been out of orientation (which was ten weeks) for almost two months and eveyday I feel dumber and dumber. I work nightshift on a stepdown unit. My confidence(or lack thereof) is almost non existent. The things that I make mistakes at when I think back I feel that I shouldn't have made them. For instance I received a patient from a different hospital lastnight due to the blood pressure being very low. Now in the past when I've had a patient transfer I never had to call the doctor to let he/she know the patient had arrived. I should have known this time was different for the simple fact I couldn't release any of the orders (which I'm normally able to do). Anyway I assessed the patient and checked her bp and it was low...I rechecked and it actually came up and she was fine. Then during the wee hours of the morning the doctor calls and ask if the patient had arrived, I say well yes she's been here for a few hours now. He starts to reprimand me (not in a mean way) for not notifying him. I felt awful!!!! I told him that I was sorry and I wasn't aware that I had to notify him. Then he makes a really valid point and this is what gets me....he says "but there were no orders " and then it hits me like a ton of bricks, well duhhh!!!! Why didn't I go and seek out orders (it was totally my responsibility to do so as being the nurse)....sometimes it hard to believe I made it through one of the toughest nursing programs....it seems that my critical thinking skills havent arrived yet. This is just one of the dumb things I've done, I could tell you more but this post is long enough. I thought I left crying and the feeling of inadequacy in nursing school, but apparently I haven't bc I've been crying my eyes out. And don't get me started on the oncoming nurse when I give report she makes me feel even worse....It's like she confirms by her never ending questions and disapproving facial expressions that she makes that I am inadequate. I love nursing it's all I've ever wanted to do but I'm so sad and unsure of myself that I question if this is my calling. I will pray it gets better and continue to learn from my mistakes and try to make as less mistakes as possible.

You will make mistakes in your career especially being new. Give yourself credit that you are actually reflecting on them. This is a great thing because you're able to acknowledge that you were wrong, learned from it, and not repeat it in the future. Ask questions when you're unsure about something even if you get dirty looks from people. As long as you get your answer and your patients are safe that's all that matters.

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