I can't wait to "lose my loser" preceptor - page 2

I am coming to the end my oreintation and if there is only 1 silver lining is that I will not have to work through 12-13 hours with my preceptor who talks down to me, is rude, makes snide negative... Read More

  1. by   Templedoll
    I have read through these letters and one thing that has struck me is really lack of good communication. You are now a Registered Nurse so you are actually on the same level as the person who is your preceptor. I think the best thing to do would be to set a time out with the preceptor and perhaps have a talk to her. This is probably easy for me to say as I am probably years older than you and don't find it that hard to do this. There maybe a clash of personalities and are you feeling a bit insecure. I think the fact that you have been crying over this is quite terrible. We spend years training for this job and at the end of the day many preceptors have been doing there nursing for years. It is probably easy for them to fall into the trap that you know how to do this and that. Thinking about my own experience that I had years ago and have written on this forum. ON reflection I wish I had done something at the time. However I was a nursing student then and you never want to jepordise your chance of registration. All the best and don't let this incident put you off. In NZ my friends did the new graduate programme, some found it ok others quite emotionally draining. They hung in their though and say they are glad they did.
  2. by   canoehead
    Not that I'm saying having a bad preceptor is a good thing but... the other nurses are watching you and seeing how you handle this. If you are patient and calm when even your preceptor is frazzled, they will know. If you ask good questions, and your preceptor is being a snot, they know that too.

    If you moan and crab about not getting a good orientation, if you talk about the mistakes your preceptor made, they notice that too.

    As a supervisor I saw a great new grad put with a frazzled unorganized RN, and though she was stressed she never said a bad word about her, asked good questions, and had good people skills. The procedures will come. If you can keep your wits about you in a stressful situation every day that says you will adapt well, and work well with your teammates- and those skills can't be taught. That new grad was promoted VERY quickly up the food chain, and had lots of help from the other RN's after the preceptorship was over, we knew she was great, but she didn't know it yet.
  3. by   wayunderpaid
    Hopefully things will get better.
    I too had a preceptor that I disliked. But not because she couldn't teach (she was awesome at it), it was more a personality thing. Although she was very much into education, she would treat me like a little child. When I did something right, she would constantly complement me in a "patronizing" way.
    Though I would definitely choose her over someone who does not care, very often we have to live with whoever we are assigned to. Sometimes NM's can change your preceptor, but sometimes that is not possible.
    Overall, I did get an awesome orientation. Our hospital would never allow a double assignment, meaning that the preceptor gets her own on top of teaching, as someone pointed out in one of the threads above. That is so unsafe!
    Wayunderpaid
  4. by   nitewarrior
    my first nursing job was a perfect example of nurses eating their young. it was so bad that i quit really fast, but my new position is great. my preceptor makes me feel like a real nurse. for the first few shifts i felt pretty useless, but then she started saying if i thought i could do things just let her know after a few days of that i loved my new job. hope i can do this for someone someday
  5. by   Chloe'sinNYNow
    Anfe,
    you and I are having the same exact experience. Hands down. I admire you for sticking it out. I have straight up told the educators and NM that I want to quit b/c I cannot handle being told that I'm too slow, incompetent when I "really know what to do, why ask", and spend too much time at the bedside doing "tech work' when I should delegate. (partly b/c my PCT's are testing me too!) They insist on giving me "one more week" and "what do you need?" when I have no ******* idea.

    I had a huge breakdown at work last week. Glad I've long since stopped wearing mascara and my contacts. Gettin a lil picture here? It was sad.

    Hopefully this week things will change. I'm finally getting to go nights. The nurses are calmer, albeit fewer of them and larger pt loads. Less techs, no admit/d-c nurse, ...all teh negatives continue to be lasered in my direction. But I am thrilled to get away fr my rotten preceptor who has nagged me incessantly for 4-ish weeks about me being a "special case". Yeah, I'm special. I'm the only new grad nurse who didn't do my clinicals/extern/intern or any other kind of anything at this hospital or graduate fr one of the 2 nursing schools in this area. It's ALL new to me. I'd sure like to see how long they'd last in town as a new grad!!!

    Thanks for writing this post and know that if you ever thought you were alone, you are NOT, and if you need to vent more, write me a PM.

    {{{{{{{{HUGS!}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    Chloe
  6. by   Curious1alwys
    Quote from ChloeinAtl
    Anfe,
    you and I are having the same exact experience. Hands down. I admire you for sticking it out. I have straight up told the educators and NM that I want to quit b/c I cannot handle being told that I'm too slow, incompetent when I "really know what to do, why ask", and spend too much time at the bedside doing "tech work' when I should delegate. (partly b/c my PCT's are testing me too!) They insist on giving me "one more week" and "what do you need?" when I have no ******* idea.

    I had a huge breakdown at work last week. Glad I've long since stopped wearing mascara and my contacts. Gettin a lil picture here? It was sad.

    Hopefully this week things will change. I'm finally getting to go nights. The nurses are calmer, albeit fewer of them and larger pt loads. Less techs, no admit/d-c nurse, ...all teh negatives continue to be lasered in my direction. But I am thrilled to get away fr my rotten preceptor who has nagged me incessantly for 4-ish weeks about me being a "special case". Yeah, I'm special. I'm the only new grad nurse who didn't do my clinicals/extern/intern or any other kind of anything at this hospital or graduate fr one of the 2 nursing schools in this area. It's ALL new to me. I'd sure like to see how long they'd last in town as a new grad!!!

    Thanks for writing this post and know that if you ever thought you were alone, you are NOT, and if you need to vent more, write me a PM.

    {{{{{{{{HUGS!}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    Chloe
    :icon_hug::flowersfo
  7. by   Curious1alwys
    To all you guys here who are going through this lousy preceptor thing....way to go for sticking it out. There is nothing worse than to be told you are incompetent and stupid for two years or more all through nursing school only to graduate and have it continue to happen. Someone needs to teach these preceptors about the positives of positive reinforcement!! Every time my old preceptor would be nice to me or give me a kudos I'd really think for a nanosecond, "Hey, maybe I can do this". But when she cut me down, boy, I wanted to run out of there every time and I ALWAYS thought, "I'll never be able to do this". And if you get told the same thing over and over, eventually you believe it. You guys are really strong to be able to really know the REAL TRUTH...it is them not you!

    GOOD LUCK!
  8. by   lpnstudentin2010
    Quote from Angie O'Plasty, RN
    But I've heard of some hospitals who give a double load of patients to nurses who are preceptoring. Who can teach or learn in that environment!

    Wow that is aweful. At the hospital where I am a patient, I do not think this is the case. My nurse was precepting someone and they told me they had count them 2 patients. It is a low ratio floor anyway because it was a transplant ward that also cares for general surgery patients if needed. They were able to give me SUCH AWESOME care. They were able to check on me every 20 mins 30 hour after they found out that the person who answered the call bells was not telling them when I called (which made them both mad) and they used having so few patints to better their care ability.

    I could also tell the preseptor treated her trainee well. She explained things, if the preceptor came in the other was always with her but quite often the trainee would come in to do things on her own. It was really cool to see. Especially because I understand how they feel from being a member here and reading posts like these.
    Last edit by lpnstudentin2010 on Nov 22, '07
  9. by   twix122
    I love you guys for this post. I recently had my preceptor changed because of her passive aggressive ways. I wanted to cry a couple of times while on the floor but I refused to let her see that she had gotten to me so badly. I pray to God that I will have a better go of it.... starting tommorrow morning with my new preceptor. The funny thing is...is that all the other nurses knew how she was.. some her former preceptees, some just co workers. They even said that she wasn't precepting for awhile because of the complaints of other preceptees.
  10. by   OncNewbie
    I definitely can sympathize. My initial preceptor would treat me like a retard & refuse to teach me essential parts of my job. She hates her job & is basically ready to retire, go figure. Anyhow, when my three month review arrived, "surprise, you're on probation", my immediate response was, "I want a new preceptor". My probationary period extension wasn't all her fault; I was new & being an RN was and still is new to me" but how can you learn if someone treats you like a retard and isn't willing to help you.
    Good for you for putting up w/ her. Not all seasoned nurses are like that, thank god. It's good that you're seeking out the helpful experiences nurses that are not treating you like a retard. If you had a longer time to go, I'd suggest switching preceptors. What you're going through is all too common. Also, some hospitals in my area give more money per hour as well as give away cruises to nurses who choose to precept, hmmm....
    Good luck to you. Be weary of her making you so nervous you make a mistake, with her rush, rush, attitude. My old preceptor used to do that to me and she got my nerves going.
  11. by   Chloe'sinNYNow
    Well, I had my final breakdown today and quit. My NM agreed that it was not a good fit and not too many new grads, let alone seasoned nurses can cut it on an ONcology/Renal/Heme/Hospice unit. But she insisted that none of her staff, who incessantly pushed me to learn more, do more, be quicker...were in the wrong and she insisted that she doubled over backward to help.

    Ummm....yeah, right.

    So after crying all the way home (45 mins) after a full hour and a half in the charge nurse office w/ 2 other charge nurses waiting for her to arrive, I was once more and finally chastised by that dept.

    Yeah, I've had it!! How can you not take it personally when you're told everyday and everynight that you are too slow, and should know this or that, and you better figure it out, and then left alone while your preceptor goes to other districts and even other floors (!) to help others while you are left to fiddle dee dee and dance to grab hold of any other RN within reach because you're actually standing alone w/ a PCA syringe of morphine and tubing to attach and no idea what/where/how...

    MY good G-d!

    Fellow nurses, I am so upset!!

    I must stop typing because I can no longer see out of my glasses, they are tear stained and spotted. *SNIFFLE!*

    Chloe
  12. by   OncNewbie
    Chloe,
    I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. It's every new nurse's fear to be blackballed like that; I still fear it in fact. But you know what... Would you really want to work on a floor where the people that are willing to help you are scarce? Nursing is such a unique profession unto itself. Can you really think of a profession like it? No. Many times we're faced w/ hypercritical people who are not supportive of one another. This is not true of all nursing or hospitals, etc, but it's a reoccuring theme & the U.S. could really use a paradigm shift in regards to this.
    When you go for your next job interview; interview them. What is the nurse to patient ratio? Talk to other people that work in the department? Find out what management's like? Are they accepting of new grads? Ask your old professors who might know of new grads that went to work there, maybe they can give you some feed back. A good book you might want to check out is The Everything New Nurse Book by Kathy Quan, excellent read. Good luck my friend & keep your chin up.
  13. by   Chloe'sinNYNow
    Thanks OncNewbie,
    not so sure I was blackballed. Just wasn't a fit for a new grad, nor was there any help for one. Expectations were unrealistically high towards me; I kept hearing that
    "when I was hired, I barely got a week"
    or
    "just how long do you expect to orient?"

    I read on this forum all the time about 3 month, 4 month, 6 month orientations and how the learning curve to become a nurse is a year or longer. Guess I really should have erased that from my brain and fast forwarded my skills to bionic speed b/c this unit just doesn't get it.

    Now my big fear is what to do and where to go. I'd like to possibly search westward or look to New England. I know, great timing w/ the weather and all...But my own timing is running out! This new grad has a new car and old student loans due next month! :uhoh21:

    Chloe

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