That's me crying along with you! I started writing this to you yesterday, but I was so wiped out and upset I had to stop.
I am about the same age you are and I am 2.5 months into this new exhausting and frustrating career! I also wanted to make it one year, but I hope to make it 6 months. I have never felt STUPID and slow until this time! Yesterday was awful..I had a pt getting Mg, KCL, 2 Antibiotics, plasmanate, NS, and morphine through a PCA (which the pt couldn't push). I was just struggling to figure out where to hook everything up to her saline locks. What can run with what, what goes primary what goes secondary..ahhh! Today was a little better since I had done all the figuring yesterday.
To add to my frustration I have a preceptor that will say to me "what did you learn in school", I ask myself this everyday!
I have read from other posts the best thing to do is a the end of the day reflect on what you did well along with what needs improving and journal it. I haven't started this yet but plan to....tonight (?).
This is a second career for me where I knew what I was doing, now I am at the bottom and clueless.
I know this is not the encouragment you where seeking, but know you are not alone, in fact you are surviving better than me!
My plan is to get some hospital experience and if it does not get better move to something different and also go for my masters.
I wish you the best and I guess each day should get better with some dips inbetween.