Help!! all you experienced nurses!! How to survive orientation??!!

Nurses New Nurse

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Hi yall, I'm hoping you experienced nurses out there can give me some advice... I graduated in May, and have been employed at a hospital for 3 weeks now, and on orientation. I was told that we are encouraged to take 4-8 weeks on orientation so that "we are not thrown to the wolves". I have been taking patients (I mean, completely, totally being responsible for ALL of their care) since my 2nd day. The nurse I'm orienting with, "Nancy", has been at this hospital for 16 years, and knows everyone. Here's the way it's been going, since the start of the 2nd week, I've been taking all or half her patients (sometimes up to 9), while she spends time gossiping or playing jigsaw puzzles on the computer. Some days, she is very smiley and happy, and doesn't mind answering questions, etc. Most days (4 out of 5) she hands me my MARs in the morning, doesn't speak to me unless she has to, and when I do have to ask her questions, she huffs and stomps off, she sets me up for the doctors (tells them to ask me about HER patients that I know nothing about even though we're SUPPOSED to be working together, yet she hasn't spoken to me all day unless it's ordering me to do something), humiliates me in front of the patients and my charge nurse AND the nurse manager- this is mostly things like, someone asks me a question and before I can even open my mouth to answer, she's yelling out the answer- as if I'm too stupid to think for myself, barks orders at me, and on and on.... I know what yall are going to say- go to my nurse manager, etc.... but "Nancy" is the kind of person that can breathe venom on me and turn around and be all sunshine and roses with the charge nurse. This is a Catholic hospital, and she is very religious, always talking about how God did this or that in her life, asking people about all their problems and telling them how God has his reasons. Don't get me wrong, this is NOT about religion- I think it's great- the stories she tells. It's just everyone sees the sunshine side of her, because she's always acting very caring and such, then she turns around and screams at me. I'm just very frustrated because mgmt tells me (more than once) they don't want me thrown to the wolves, yet, every day so far, I've been COMPLETELY responsible for 4-6 patients, and when I screw up, the person that's supposed to have been helping me is screaming at me when I screw up, and then grilling me as to why I screwed up in front of drs or charge. Also, I don't want to go to mgmt because I will be on day shift, as so she is, and so I dont' want to make enemies, and I really dont' think that management will believe me, because she's ALWAYS nice and "sucking up" to them. Please advise before I go crazy. I have 3 more weeks with her.

Specializes in ER; HBOT- lots others.

been there! you have to get thru it, do what you can to make it to that time when you are going to be on your own. i know it sounds dumb now, but thats all you CAN do. you could ask to be with someone else for the "different" perspective. heck, i would too! but dont think that the grass is always greener on the other side!

i totally understand being with someone is hard as heck. but its so worth it, cuz when you are on your own, sometimes you wish you had that crabby you know what of a nurse there. i couldnt wait to be off orientation, then i couldnt get in to take my boards til WAY later than i wanted to be, and really felt super stuck with my precept's. (or as they like to call them.. Mentors...yeah right!!) it is one of the hardest things to do, more so than school if you ask me!

wow, i hope that when i start doing the other end of this- that i am not being posted like this on here! i try and be the best i can, but it also makes you think that is what they think, and are getting it totally wrong!

gl! tough it out... trust me woman, its SOOO worth it!

-H-RN

UPDATE:

Things have been going smoothly, so far. I have been working with another nurse, took 3 patients today, went very well. She had her 3, I had mine, and away we went. I did my thing, she did hers, and if I had questions, I asked. She explained. WITHOUT screaming at me. It was a whole new experience. Wonderful!!!

P.S. BTW, the nurse I worked with today, she told me that on her first day on the floor, she and "Nancy" had a belligerent male patient. Nancy's response was to slap him in the face with a newspaper!!! I asked her what happened after that, and she said nothing happened.

:eek:

What is the deal with piling it on the new nurse as an orientation requirement while the preceptor and other nurses sit on their big cans gossiping and socializing with every conceivable walk of life who comes by? Isn't this military style/bootcamp nurse hazing ritual antiquated? I am a nurse with many years experience who decided to come out of the community nurse arena and go back into critical care for the value of the experience. So here I am an experienced nurse having the same issues as if I am a new nurse all over again. I also have a preceptor who smiles and spews poison while stroking the higher ups who need her experience and savvy on the unit. There is no other preceptor and she is as fed up with me questioning these maneuvers as I am experiencing them. This is my fifth week and I am heading back in. I have no intention of crying or having long drawn out dialogues where she convinces herself that her hostility is justified in the name of giving me the experience I need to be on my own. When is nursing going to come into the current century? It doesn't need to be touchy feely but at least allow us to practice safely! I wish some nurses from hospitals who don't implement this archaic practice would post more often! My director knows and has basically told me too bad, right or wrong, this is it. I am an experienced nurse who took this on voluntarily and I am in the same boat as the new nurses. How pathetic. The situation is out of my control and I too, face being called thin skinned and a trouble maker if I verbalize my concerns. It's no -win situation right now. The only reason I am hanging tough is that I have the expectation there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I wish some nurses from hospitals who don't implement this archaic practice would post more often!

Here you go -- I haven't experienced this practice where I work. The experienced nurses have been friendly, patient, and welcoming. In fact, almost everyone I've interacted with has been the same. For the life of me, I can't figure out why so many think they have to be hostile to teach new nurses. Nobody learns well under those circumstances.

Thank you all for your input and advice....while it's not okay that other people are going through all of this, it does comfort me to know that I am not alone in this.... and hopefully, this is not the norm....

I am sorry to hear about your story, newbutalsooldnurse, I appreciate you sharing. I agree, things don't have to be touchyfeely, but just not being screamed at and backstabbed would be nice. The good news for me, is that by going to my nurse manager, I got away from her. The bad news is that now everyone is finding out all the stuff that I am either doing wrong or not doing because she hasn't shown/told me, and so now I have to take another 2 weeks of orientation!!! Shoot me please!! Granted, in a way, I am glad for this so that I learn the right way to do stuff (chart correctly, write orders correctly, get to know doctors, learn surgery preparation requirements, etc.); however, if I'm doing things the way she taught me, and it's wrong, how come she still gets to do it her way???? Oh well...... I'll smile and take my 2 weeks and get on down the road and let them worry about her.... I know. It's just so frustrating to know that not only is she well known for this behavior on the unit, but throughout the whole hospital, and to know how long this has been tolerated!! She NEVER takes a stethoscope to a patient, for crying out loud!! And I STILL haven't seen her wash her hands!!! I'm glad to get away from her for that reason alone!!

Okay, sorry to vent and rant and rave....

newbutalsooldnurse, you have my sympathies......:icon_hug:

Specializes in medical/oncology.

I am so sorry for everyone who has had a bad orientation experience. I think you're all amazing for being so determined and for being so professional in the awful situation. I just graduated in May and was terrified beyond belief about my orientation. After the first day, I knew it was going to be a good experience. My day shift preceptor was wonderful. She didn't always do things exactly by the book and there were times I thought she was going to drive me crazy. BUT, everyday she asked what I wanted for the day so that I could challenge myself yet still be comfortable. She never once got mad when I asked her questions (and I asked a LOT). She always told me that being my preceptor was her #1 priority while we were together, and she provided constant positive reinforcement, which helped to build my confidence. Every other nurse on the unit has gone out of her way support me. Now that I'm on evenings, my new preceptor isn't overly helpful, but I feel that I learned enough on day shift that I am holding my own now. And again, every time another nurse on the unit walks by they have asked "Are you ok? Can I help you with anything?" The support is so incredible. I feel awful that others are suffering what had been my worst nightmare, but please know that there are good nurses out there that don't "eat their young". We need to change things for the next generation of nursing students and new grads. It's a wonderful profession and people shouldn't need to be afraid to go into the field! Good luck to you all!

Too late for me I have given up. I am an experienced nurse trying to freshen up my acute care experience and I picked the wrong unit and tried to swim with the sharks. What a bunch of mean people. I am no dummy and can do the job if I were given a chance. The staff nurses just wanted to eat me alive. They cut off their hands to spite their faces now, since, they will be down on staffing but I don't think they care. I had been assured I had the clinical skills to perform well on the unit. Basically, my preceptor is the queen bee, is lazy, is passive aggressive and has a trail of enemies. She undermined me on any number of occasions and when I went to the supervisor and finally complained she just retaliated by saying I was not motivated and had a knowledge deficit. So I went from being appraised as competent to incompetent because I questioned the orientation methods. My fellow nurses in critical care assure me the scenario on this unit is insane and I should have cut and run long ago. The queen bee scared off a few other nurses before me, but the supervisors are not getting tuned in. Oh well, I am moving on because I won't allow my life to be stressed and all about the unreasonable demands of a job.

I'm also in orientation. I think I took a job on a unit with a lot of problems among the staff and the manager. Everyone is polite to me and another new grad, but the moment the preceptors walk away - they trash everyone. They also trash each other to the other nurses on the unit.

I feel I'm making tremendous progress, but I learned yesterday the expectation is that I able to manage the full patient load two weeks before orientation ends (and the orientation is shorter than originally outlined).

I feel like the preceptors (each week it rotates) want me to be a mindreader and to know things that have yet to be outlined.

Who is the advocate for the new graduate in a hospital unit?

I feel really vulnerable and I am wondering if I should ask about going to another unit. Or, is this part of the process of "breaking me in"?

I know that some people have a difficult orientation but once you get over that and your on your own you will be better. If your orientation does not last much longer I would suggest just staying there and dealing with it. If you truly can not stand it then go to your nurse manager, they want you to stay there and will usually try to help.

I'm also in orientation. I think I took a job on a unit with a lot of problems among the staff and the manager. Everyone is polite to me and another new grad, but the moment the preceptors walk away - they trash everyone. They also trash each other to the other nurses on the unit.

I feel I'm making tremendous progress, but I learned yesterday the expectation is that I able to manage the full patient load two weeks before orientation ends (and the orientation is shorter than originally outlined).

I feel like the preceptors (each week it rotates) want me to be a mindreader and to know things that have yet to be outlined.

Who is the advocate for the new graduate in a hospital unit?

I feel really vulnerable and I am wondering if I should ask about going to another unit. Or, is this part of the process of "breaking me in"?

Of course, I can't speak for everyone, as a lot of nurses have reassured me that there are places that orientation is actually a learning environment, but as the OP, I can tell you that is exactly what it was like for me. From my experience, the only advocate for you is you. I am a new grad also, and I feel that I am competent enough to not kill anyone (hopefully, with the good Lord's help!!), if maybe not always getting it right, able to handle a patient load of 7, and get most of my charting down (I think)...however, what I find frustrating (to say the least) is a charge nurse that constantly runs down other employees (what would make me think she's not doing that to me as soon as I turn around), belittles me for things I haven't done (such as needles, syringes, etc. left out from nite shift), and puts me off or is hateful and snippy when I ask her for help.

Even now that I am away from "Nancy", it still seems that I can't get anything right and the charge nurse is always ticked at something I've done or didn't get done. I talked to my former instructor about all of this, and she really didn't have much sympathy for me, she said because everyone goes through this. She said she went through the same thing for her first two years, and her instructor told her that she was disenchanted. I think in school, you have to do everything by the book, and that's good, you need to know how the perfect world is supposed to be. But the part they leave off, is that, until you get a year or two of experience, you will be constantly frustrated, angry, upset, hurt, confused, and misled. I'll probably offend those who had a wondeful preceptor, and I am sorry. But I think there is a significant bunch of us who go through this, and no one speaks up because they dont' want to be known as a troublemaker. So the more this goes on, the more it is accepted as the norm. I know those with experience don't have the time or want to take the time to be patient or kind or understanding with those of us in this boat; I know that yall are dealing with enough already. But I just wish the ones I work with would remember what it's like to not automatically know the phone numbers, or the doctors and their preferences, or the way things are supposed to be written, or the right order of how I should be organized.

Anyway, sorry to vent. I think if we don't vent, then we'll blow up!! I'm sorry I don't have the magic answer for you, as I have been through a lot of heck the last 5 weeks. All I can say is hang in there. Someone has a Bible quote at the bottom of their page, that I think is really accurate, and something I tell myself everyday. Sorry, I'm not that good at the Bible, but it goes like this, "the Lord said, I'm sorry, my child. I never told you it would be easy. But I did tell you it would be worth it."

I think that says a lot. And it's a principle, along with the golden rule, that I try to live everyday.

Try to be tough. I am. My heart goes out to you.:icon_hug:

Too late for me I have given up. I am an experienced nurse trying to freshen up my acute care experience and I picked the wrong unit and tried to swim with the sharks. What a bunch of mean people. I am no dummy and can do the job if I were given a chance. The staff nurses just wanted to eat me alive. They cut off their hands to spite their faces now, since, they will be down on staffing but I don't think they care. I had been assured I had the clinical skills to perform well on the unit. Basically, my preceptor is the queen bee, is lazy, is passive aggressive and has a trail of enemies. She undermined me on any number of occasions and when I went to the supervisor and finally complained she just retaliated by saying I was not motivated and had a knowledge deficit. So I went from being appraised as competent to incompetent because I questioned the orientation methods. My fellow nurses in critical care assure me the scenario on this unit is insane and I should have cut and run long ago. The queen bee scared off a few other nurses before me, but the supervisors are not getting tuned in. Oh well, I am moving on because I won't allow my life to be stressed and all about the unreasonable demands of a job.

I'm so sorry to hear about your quitting. It makes me sick that people quit because of behavior like this, and that this behavior is tolerated. Just like when I went to my NM about "Nancy", I didn't have to say much. She knew what she is like. Just like everyone else knows. And yet they tolerate it. When will people ever grow up and get out of the 6th grade classroom??!!:angryfire:banghead:

CHANGE PRECEPTORS!!!!!

You DONT need to put up with that. Find a preceptor that is WILLING, CARING, and SUPPORTIVE. New nurses NEED that....not one that is there to take advantage of you. Your orientation experience is what sets the tone on how you feel about working in the nursing field.

I had to change preceptor twice. My first preceptor was a NIGHTMARE!!! I wanted to quit after a few weeks. Hang in there and DONT let ANYONE step all over or BULLY you. I've been there where you are and now 7 months later Im still a nurse!!!

GOOD LUCK AND TAKE CARE!!!

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