Hi all! I graduated with my BSN this past May and got a job on a med/surg floor in an area hospital. I have been working here for 4 months now, and while I liked my job when I first started, it has now become a "black hole" in my life as I could say. I don't know if I liked it because I was finally doing what I had spent so much time preparing for, or what .. But I just thoroughly do not enjoy coming to work anymore. I work 12 hour night shifts which I think is part of it. I don't mind working 12-hours, 3-4 days off is nice. But I think I truly only like working nights because of the pay diff. (It definitely makes a difference.)
I am no longer orienting and am now "on my own" but I just feel like I never do anything right. I am constantly being corrected by my peers and have been burned by docs on several situations because the docs at night are very difficult to work with. I have such high anxiety and stress because I always think I am doing something wrong, or that I am going to miss something in my assessment. And then in morning report I feel like I am missing things as well ... I often wake myself out of sleep because I fear that I did something wrong.
I am thinking now that a clinic setting or doctor's office may be more my speed. I would have day time hours and could have the night for myself. Now this is very difficult because with working nights I am exhausted all the time .. I sleep in between shifts and then on my off days I am asleep by 7:30. Never have time to see or spend time with my loved ones because I am always dragging. And I may be wrong but to my understanding the patients coming into the clinic/dr. office are not as acute (could code any second). I think a lot of my anxiety comes from not working a long time so I just do not have the experience or wisdom that comes from working as a nurse over time. At the hospital there are just so many protocols and things I am unfamiliar with. I do have a very good support system there and love my managers and co-workers, which is why I have a difficult time looking for something else. However, I don't know how much longer I can stick with the stress of working somewhere that I think I am always making a mistake.
I apologize if this post seems very random or jumbled, I am attempting to vent and put my thoughts out but I don't know how well it is coming across. If anyone could give me any suggestions, helpful hints, insight as to working in a clinic setting, etc .. it would be very appreciated!!
It can be VERY difficult as a new nurse, and all of these things you are experiencing and struggling with are very normal. The hospital is a crazy place, and some doctors and nurses get enjoyment out of making others who are new feel like crap and worthless just so they can feel high and mighty and good about themselves.
I worked at a nursing home for years, and just recently started at a hospital. When I first started at the nursing home, I felt lost and like I had no idea what was going on. Eventually though that all changed and I became more comfortable. Now that I'm in the hospital, even though I'm not a new nurse, all those feelings have come back and of course many people treat me like I know very little. It's extremely difficult, especially when you're the type of person who's brain just doesn't work the same way as other nurses, like things don't click as easy. But it does get better, I promise. You'll get into your groove. I'd say give it a year and if it's still not for you, move onto something else. That year of medsurg experience can be very valuable to other employers.
Best of luck :-)
Last edit by traumaRUs on Feb 10, '13
: Reason: TOS