Does it get better being a new nurse?

Nurses New Nurse

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I am currently a new graduate, been working on the tele floor for about 4 months now, and I know I shouldn't say this but I already absolutely dread going to work every single day. I mean I just feel so alone at work, I mean I am constantly worrying about making mistakes, I've already made 2 so far. Even on my days off, my mind is just filled with worries of messing up, making mistakes. I cannot even enjoy my days off.

I feel like the hospital I work for did not provide proper orientation, I only had 2 months worth of it, no classroom education provided just clinicals. What makes it worse is that I signed a 3 year contract to work for this hospital. I know that was my responsibility, but I did not know how horrible the circumstances are in this hospital. I really feel like they don't care about us. They do not provide us CNAs at times, and that really affects patient care when you're too busy doing CNA work increasing your risk of making a mistake. I mean I don't mind cleaning patients, but when it interferes with doing something more important then it is a big issue.

I also feel like most of the nurses gossip too much. I mean this is just too unprofessional. I am friendly with everyone, but still, I just have a feeling they still talk bad about me and my mistakes at times. What makes it worse is that management is friends with some people, and I feel that if I complain about those people, it would just turn out bad for me.

I've never had so much stress in my life, I mean I can't think of doing this for 3 years. I feel like that is why this hospital made new grads such as myself sign this contract so that they can retain us and we have no choice to leave, considering so many nurses have quit before (from what I have heard)...doesn't this seem just not right to you?

I feel like I have no support, no one can understand what I am going through right now. I just feel sick to my stomach going to work, I have no support at work. Sure I have my family and my boyfriend, but it is different.

I am always scared and nervous at night, before I go to work. I always pray, it helps but I still feel anxious.

I hope someone can respond to this. Is this feeling normal? I mean I just feel bad, all of my other classmates have been loving their jobs (from what I see in social media), and I am just here dreading each day at work. I just pray everyday that my patients, myself, and my license are safe. I always try to do the best for my patient, but I cannot help it if mistakes happen :(

I would love to read others' feedback. Thank you.

I started out in tele, and yes, my first year was one of constant anxiety. First, I would start to dread going to work hours before my shift, sometimes even the day before. I would arrive at work and feel like I was walking the Green Mile between the locker room and the report room, not knowing what laid before me that day. The CNAs were terrible, I felt like a complete and total idiot, and I worried myself at night about what I might have inadvertently done or forgotten that might result in harm to a patient.

You know what I did? I just pulled up my hip waders and kept going back- and as time passed, it got better.

Being a new nurse is really, really hard. But you know what? Every day that you show up is another day of learning and growing and getting better. You will cry. You will lie awake at night. You will feel like the biggest idiot that ever walked the face of the earth, and wonder who in their right mind gave you a nursing license.

And, it's completely normal. All you can do is keep showing up and doing your best. Welcome to nursing!

Edited to add: ....and then, one day, another nurse will ask you a question- your opinion, or for guidance. You will think "What? You're asking *ME*?" and then realize how far you've come. It will happen, trust me.

Re: the social media aspect. Remember that the image people portray on social media is often highly edited. Certainly there are those folks who do nothing but complain constantly on Facebook etc, but many people choose to show the world only what they want. This article talks about the concept a little bit more. Hope it gets better for you soon!

The Social Media Effect: Are You Really Who You Portray Online? | R. Kay Green

Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

I caution you about the social media. Your employee has the right to get copies of transcripts if they feel your posts are detrimental to their business. Yes, what you are feeling is normal. I believe it will eventually get better, but suggest you talk to an Educator in your faciity about any skills you need help with or ask about help finding a mentor. Sometimes that personal connection is enough to get over the rough spots.

It is absolutely normal to feel the way you do! I was the same way. I started out in LTC as an LPN and I remember the first day I was going to be on my own. I cried the whole way to work, but pulled it together and did it! It does get better with time, I PROMISE! Once you get used to everthing, you will then learn to tune out all of the nonsense. Right now your senses are hightened due to the stress, but that will go away. I got my RN and left LTC to go to ED. I loved it during orientation, but I felt as if they pushed me on my own way too fast. I ended up hating the ED. I felt unsafe and that I was putting my license on the line all of the time. ED just wasn't my type of nursing. I returned to LTC as an RN after only 4 months!

To add on the social media aspect on the above post, I agree. Be careful what you put on social media. If you have an employer listed on your Facebook profile or any other website, delete the employer info NOW! I was given that advice from a manager where I work. I always caution people about putting their employers names on their facebook information.

Good luck to you! It will get better! I promise!

Have you thought about staying at that hospital, but switching floors so you do not break your contract?

At least try to hang in there for a year so that you can claim that experience on your resume. Honestly, I believe it may get worst before it gets better. Wait till that 6-8 month mark.....Jesus!!!

Previous posters said it all.

However, please use your employee assistance to get some additional support during this most difficult time.

Good luck.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.

It gets better. It really does. Hang in there.

Don't complain about others at work. Just don't. It will turn out badly, because--think about it--there's no way it will turn out good. It just won't.

There has got to be at least one person that's supportive of new grads. All you need is one to go to with questions and assistance when you really need it. Every workplace has at least one. Find him or her. That doesn't mean the others are UNsupportive, but maybe they don't enjoy teaching and just want to avoid it.

It's totally normal to feel anxiety as a new nurse. It is also normal to make mistakes. I believe every single nurse has made a few mistakes in their career and if they say they haven't, then quite honestly they probably just haven't realized they have. I think 2 months of orientation seems normal for tele. I work ICU and we get 10 to 12 weeks. As far as gossip, every unit is going to have that. My advice is to try to ignore it as much as possible. It will get better. I have heard new nurses don't even feel remotely competent until 1 year- 2 years in. Hang in there :)

Tele is the floor where new nurses go to learn how to throw up before each shift. That's why tele floors love new grads--precious little unsuspecting lambs that jump into the deep end unawares.

Tele floors get the worst of the best, and the best of the worst. It's hopping with admits and transfers of patients that are ripe for going south at any moment.

Hang in there, it will get better, but realize that many new nurses (no matter the floor) hate life for the first two or three years, no matter the floor.

A few months from now, you may still hate tele as a work environment, but your skills will translate nicely into many other niches. You might even decide to go into another specialty altogether, and it will feel like a cakewalk. :)

But for now, it's going to suck.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

I started out in tele and received NO orientation. Two months seems like a good start. I've worked in some critical care units where I got less orientation than that. Feeling stupid, making mistakes, dreading going to work and not being able to enjoy your day off are all pretty much par for the course in the first year of nursing. Nursing is my first career, so I cannot compare it to other fields, but I suspect every career has a horrendous first year. It's worse for some than for others, and anyone with even a little bit of an anxiety disorder is going to suffer greatly the first year. But it does get better. Right around a year, something "clicks" and you realize that you're not dreading going to work, feeling capable of doing the job and enjoying your time off. You just have to get through that first year, and the only way to GET through it is to GO through it.

Hospitals make new grads sign contracts because so many of them decide they hate their jobs and quit right away, looking for the proverbial greener pasture. It does not mean that the particular hospital is a horrible place to work, that they don't care about their employees or that they're out to persecute you. It just means that they've been burned, over and over again. And from the sounds of things, they did the right thing because you sound as though you'd be out of there in a minute if it weren't for that contract.

CNAs have a very difficult job, and most places have a harder time keeping good CNAs than keeping nurses. So you will work shifts without them. That doesn't mean the hospital doesn't care about you or that it's a horrible place to work. It just means you need to prioritize and manage your time.

Nurses gossip too much and it's unprofessional? I'm not sure why you should be the judge of how much gossip is too much and what is and is not professional, but in the interest of getting along with your colleagues, I sincerely hope you're keeping that opinion to yourself. Everyone gossips everywhere. As long as they're not gossiping to the patients (unless it's about Kim's latest wedding and how revolting it is that North West's parents spent THAT much on a wedding!), it's not unprofessional. Lawyers gossip, bankers gossip, CPAs gossip, military officers gossip . . . adults gossip.

Perhaps your colleagues sense that your judging them negatively and that's why you have no support at work. Try going to work and finding something to like, respect or admire about everyone you work with. Find a smoker and ask for help with time management, because no one has mastered time management like someone who takes three or four trips outside to smoke every shift. Anyone who went to school in The Phillipines can teach you a great deal about neatness -- how to keep the patient room neat, how to do a beautiful dressing change or how even a patient in the throes of alcohol withdrawal can be made to look pretty at change of shift. (No, I'm not being racist -- even those red-headed Irish nurses who went to school in Manila have that knack.) The crusty old bat with decades of experience can teach you tips, tricks and timesavers and can maybe eyeball your patient and tell you in 10 seconds what exactly is the problem with the man in 202 who "just doesn't look right."

Specializes in Med Surg, Specialty.

As was said earlier, many new nurses portray an image of confidence which does not accurately reflect their internal stress and anxiety. I've experienced it, seen it happen/talked about it to (seemingly confident) nurses who confirmed it, and read about others experiencing it repeatedly over the 9 years that I've been on this board. You are completely normal in what you are feeling.

Unfortunately many hospitals staff inappropriately. While things will get better after a year due to your increasing expertise/familiarity with how to handle situations with more ease/efficiency, the poor staffing is something that is felt with nurses of all experience levels. Unless you happen to find a hospital/floor with decent staffing, you will need to resolve the internal frustration in one of several ways. Some nurses do what they can and feel that as long as they've tried their best, they are satisfied with what they do, despite the poor working conditions/heavy patient loads. Some nurses take varying degrees of shortcuts to get things done to a level they feel somewhat comfortable with. Others routinely skip lunch/work off the clock(usually charting)/forgo even bathroom breaks to satisfy the level of care they want to give. Others leave the hospital setting and work in other types of nursing.

As you grow in your experience you will figure out what is the best path for you. I would agree with the others who state to try to hang in there for 1 year. While there is some controversy about hospital experience, I have seen in myself that my hospital experience (even though it was difficult, also plagued with poor staffing/and internal anxiety and struggle/etc), was invaluable as a solid foundation which I have used in my work environments outside of the hospital. I'd therefore advise you to stick it out for a year, if possible, hard as it may be, and then decide whether or not to move on.

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