did you ever think it would be like this?

hikernurse · Jul 25, 2007

Well, if you're crazy, then you and I can share a room at the psych hospital :rolleyes:

If things are going very well, then I'm fine, but you know how often that happens, right?

I always feel like I'm always on the edge of chaos, and it's a slippery edge indeed. I'm afraid I'll never get this down and if something dire happens, I won't know what to do. I worry constantly that I'm making a mistake.

We're understaffed (surprised??) and have a lot of opportunities to add extra shifts, but I can't imagine working more than 36 hours a week--more time at work means more opportunities to do something wrong .

This is definitely the hardest, scariest thing I've ever done.

I like nursing, don't misunderstand me, but my anxiety level is very high. I'm a big believer that things usually get better the more time and effort you devote to them, but I wish I were there already.

I think I'm probably my biggest critic and that doesn't help, either .

jamonit · Jul 25, 2007

i like nursing too, i just feel a little duped. there's a shortage so they crank us out and promise all this great orientation and great pay. little did i know i would always feel like i was a huge liability, and always on the verge of having my license swept away by some imaginary board of nursing for accidentally pulling out 3 tylenols instead of 2 from the pyxis. :lol2:

feeling inept sucks.

Imafloat, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2007

I go through times where I feel the same way. There is so much at stake for the patients and so much to know. The more I learn, the more I realize I don't know. I realized the other day how paranoid I am becoming.

samarooni · Jul 25, 2007

I never thought it would be this hard, no. I'm in an ARNP program right now and I can't wait to do that instead--I DO enjoy being an RN, but a lot of times I feel like a service worker that parents (I'm in peds) just boss around, like a maid...instead of a trained professional. Sometimes nursing just feels demeaning. So, while I'm glad I'm getting the experience, after a few years I'll be glad to move on to being an ARNP! And no, that profession isn't perfect but I think it is a better match for me.

Kemccanha · Jul 25, 2007

Heck no you are not a crazy newbie! I've been on my floor for 6 weeks and I truly dislike it! It's overwhelming to me! I'm not sure how much more I can put up with. I'm thinking that hospital nursing isn't for me, however, I'm not sure what kind of nursing is!

sistrmoon, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2007

Glad to know I'm not alone in feeling that way. I'm a few months off orientation, and I already feel burned out.

nyapa, RN · Jul 25, 2007

There are a few times I have gone one step from walking out. I'm also in paeds (peds) and I feel I know nothing! But I think I have a supportive environment and that is helping me. I am an ex EN and ppl think, oh well, she's nursed before, she knows what she's doing. Huh? I never gave drugs before, I never dealt with little tiny sick ppl before, I have never had children so I am still trying to develop communication skills (learn how to play? LOL), I am still trying to figure out what the priorities are, and I find it so hard when I have to be involved in painful procedures which can be explained to an adult. For example, we had to give an IM antibiotic injection (we call it procaine penicillin here). I walked out of there close to tears.

And they tell me kids forget. Garbage. I remember a procedure I had as a child, in photographic detail. I can tell you where the window and the door was, that they wouldn't let my mother stay in the room, and even what colour the paint was. Now I figured I must have been about five or six. Spoke to my mother last night; she sounded shocked and said that I was 2 - 3 yrs!

So you are not crazy. Or if you are, then we are all one big happy family!

tencat · Jul 25, 2007

Hospital nursing is CRAZY. I, too, felt like a glorified maid who pushed pills. I got out of it and went into hospice. I really enjoy having freedom and autonomy, plus not having to be in close contact with all of the politics crud. I'm glad I got out of the hospital setting. There is hope!

NursingAgainstdaOdds · Jul 25, 2007

It can certainly be overwhelming. I try not to allow myself to think too negatively - this is a VERY challenging profession in a VERY challenging environment. 95% of the time I feel positive, but occasionally suffer what I call a "blow to my morale". If you are feeling overwhelmed, I find it's much better to chalk it up to a tough night, a tough patient, an unsupportive co-worker, etc. If you sit there after a blow to morale and think about the huge picture - the nursing shortage, the class issues inherent in the profession, departmental in-fighting, etc - it just totally overwhelms. Take it one thing at a time - "OK, that sucked! I feel like a totally inept piece of dog poo. I'm going to get through the rest of my shift safely and learn what I can from this." I also have somebody I can vent to who is also a nurse (hi sis!!), and discuss issues with my preceptor as they come up.

Seek out support, and don't let yourself dwell on the negative.

BreezieRN · Jul 25, 2007

TenCat, I was just thinking about getting BACK INTO hospital nursing!! Your post has me thinking!! I HATED the hospital, would cry in the med room, like the OP I would lay awake thinking of what I forgot and then dream about work only to wake up and do it all over again. I've been out of the hospital for 3 years now and I guess these memories are fading. I'll have to think about it some more I guess!!

:uhoh21:

dansamy · Jul 25, 2007

Well, if you're crazy, then you and I can share a room at the psych hospital

Is there room for one more in there? I think I need a padded room. I am so tired every day. I don't know if I can keep up with the pace.