Since I was a child, I have been a cryer. I cry when I am stressed, or overwhelemd with thoughts. It has brought me alot negative remarks over the years, but eventually I realized that this is a way that I releive my stress.
I am a new nurse. I have been off orientation since January. Occaisionally I will be so overwhelmed at work that I just need to cry for a while. The hard part is I look like I did cry for the rest of the shift.
The other day, my patient needed a RR. It was a big ordeal for me, especially since I felt guilty that I could have intervened earlier. She is doing ok, but not sure what her prognosis is. I cried though, and in front of many many people. I tried to hold it back, but so many people were asking me questions and the doctor was yelling at me (my great manager talked to her later in the hall about it). And I had to transfer the patient to ICU with teary eyes. It was humiliating. I came back to the unit and cried some more. Luckily (I am really thankful), the rest of my patients were ok, another nurse peaked in on them for me, and we had students who were taking care of the meds for some of the patients as well. Everyone saw me with red tearry eyes, and I was puffy for the rest of the shift (10 more hours). After having some time for myself and some deep breaths, I was slowly able to get back out on the floor.
I know what happened last shift was a learning experience. I will know better (hopefully) next time and it will process in my brain much better. I am a perfectionist in a sense, and I am hard on myself, which adds to the emotions, and adds to how much I will cry.
I do eat healthy, at least try to... I excercise (almost daily) and I do yoga (2-3 times a month).
Is anyone else the type of person who cries in stressfull situations? Does anyone have panic issues with new stressful situations? I wish at times I could be a stronger person. A good cry is good for me at times, but other people look down at you-thinking you are weak. At work, it is hard to cry without anyone noticing.
Thanks for reading.