Confession time: Is nursing what you thought it would be?

Thanks for all the replies....I'm trying to figure out how to write what I feel.

I don't think I had any misconceptions regarding the NICU...I never thought for a second that it was a department where you "got to rock cute little babies all day".

I knew that some stories would be miraculous and some would be the worst possible tragedies.

Yes, very sick kids do intimidate me...mainly because I can appreciate the fragile nature of their condition.

The families...I don't mind dealing with. I have always worked with the general public and I have not found nursing to be any different in dealing with people than what I did before.

I actually don't really know what the problem is. I am just not "driven" by the work itself. I don't have this feeling of accomplishment when I come home at the end of the day...as odd as that sounds. Work has become something I "get through"....I am very meticulous about how I go about it...I don't cut corners and I pride myself in my level of professionalism.

When I go home I think about how my day went...how I could have made it better. I write down anything on a pad I keep in my pocket that I came across during the day that I want to research...a condition that I had never heard of, a disease or genetic disorder I'm not familiar with, etc. I do enjoy this aspect of it and I do enjoy the learning.

I have considered everything...was it because I didn't work for two years while I was in school and I am having trouble getting "back into the routine" of working?? Is it because I choose a career that I thought I would love and don't want to admit that I only "like" it???

It's just disheartening because nursing school was rough and the orientation/perceptor process for the NICU was incredibly involved...tons and tons of hard work has went into my training...not only by me but by senior staff members, my management, my perceptor, etc.

I just wished I could figure out what it is and fix it.

I graduate in a month and a half and I will literally be miserable if I have to do floor nursing... I cant STAND IT. So its ER or something outpatient for me. I don't wanna deal with patients for longer than 2-4 hours. I cant stand the constant whining and b*tching.

I graduate in a month and a half and I will literally be miserable if I have to do floor nursing... I cant STAND IT. So its ER or something outpatient for me. I don't wanna deal with patients for longer than 2-4 hours. I cant stand the constant whining and b*tching.