I am a new grad and already on orienation 7 weeks working at "step down" or "DOU". I had a full load of patients for about 6 weeks now and have 4 more weeks left. I am still disorganized, constantly missing breaks,shorten meal times just to catch up. My preceptor is not too supportive, very harsh on me.I constantly feel that I am such a stupid nurse. I floated to ICU and CCU with my preceptor twice, I was freaking out about it. There are 2 to 3 drips which needed to titrate. I was told that I would supposed to get the easiest patients in the unit, and not get any drips from my educator and manager.The reality was not true;even though I would have a resource nurse to help me out,if anything went wrong with the patient, I would be the one blamed (how can I float to those units without critical care training? My educator told me that the hospitial would not offer the critical class to step down nurses, but we would still have to float step down nurses to ICU or CCU, if they are short and I will float after 3 months). I worked too hard for my license, these situations make me fear losing my license. I seriously thought about switching units, when I had my first code blue 2 weeks ago.
I was always weak on my clinical, when I was in the RN program. I thought that working in step down, would help improve my skills and clinical practice, but instead it has brought me alot of fears, and uncertainties. Do you guys think that I should start from med surg first, instead of step down for this situation? Please advise!!!
I do not enjoy to going to work at all, I drag my feet to go to work.