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Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?



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Sep 17, 2009 03:29 PM

Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?


Here is my dilema. I am in an intern program that had over 50 applicates for 5 positions. The first day I was happy to meet the other four interns. Two of them graduated right before me, one grad was from another class but I worked with him so I knew how smart he was, the other nurse is from another town and has proven how very smart she is. The four of us were doing great in our classes and orientation but this one nurse just seemed to be lost. I tried to help but she just was kind of mean to me so I started to just ignore her. The others in class started to make fun of her. The instructor told us that we needed to cut her some slack because she has ADD. My son has ADD so I can understand how hard it is to sit there for 8 hours and try to pay attention especially with a handicap such as ADD. She told us she was on medication for her disability so I cut her some slack when she constantly fell asleep in class, text on her cell during lectures, and just got up and disappeared for over an hour as she said she had to go to the bathroom. I told the others to grow up and quit making fun of her when she asked questions like 'What is PEEP?, Where does the chest tubes go?, Why do we as nurses have to give baths...isn't that the techs job?'
Now here is my dilema, today she told me that she lied, She doesn't really have ADD. She just used it as a sympathy card to get the job and look like she was a super nurse that has overcome all the hardship of having a disability. If I talk to my manager and tell her this my manager is going to think I am being petty, I am being mean, or I am trying to get her fired so that I can apply for the positions that the other nurse has applied to and get them without the competition. The Human resource manager, and the other managers are not going want to admit that they were fooled by this slacker and I fear that the backlash will be only on me.
What should I do?


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34 Comments
No. 1
from llg
Old Sep 17, 2009, 03:58 PM
Updated Sep 17, 2009 at 04:04 PM by llg

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
Good question. Tough dilemma.

Is there anyone at your institution you can talk to discretely? ... someone outside the daily interactions of your peer group ... perhaps the nurse recruiter or someone else in HR ... perhaps an educator in a fairly high level position ... maybe the head of the intern program.

You might go to them in private and say that you heard someone (don't mention any names or details) say that they had lied on their application about something very signficant. Say that part of you believes you should report it ... but that you are afraid of retaliation or of being labeld a trouble-maker if you do. That person may have some good advice for you based on his/her knowledge of your particular employer.

That person should (no guarantee they will) help you take it further without exposing your identify to people likely to gossip about it. People in high-level positions don't gossip about that sort of thing to your co-workers as much as people closer to the actual people involved. I can imagine lots of ways the higher-ups can address this problem without involving you.

Unless you want nursing to be a profession in which people turn a blind eye to ethical misconduct that might endanger the patients, you have to report it. Sometimes we all have to do what's right, even though it might not be easy. Just exercise a little caution in how you do it.

Any "good guys" in the education department or management or HR will want to get rid of this person before she causes real harm. They will be angry at HER, not you. Just take a little caution to approach a "good guy" and not just anybody.
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No. 2
Old Sep 17, 2009, 04:50 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
That is a great response. It was full of ideas that I didn't even consider, (so much for critical thinking on my part). I am worried about backlash but that doesn't outweigh the responsibility I feel towards the patients that come to our hospital. Soon we will be on our own and making critical care decisions on these patients. We are in a critical care program. I don't want this new program to suffer and have the administration think that is wasn't worth the effort to train us with her being the end result. I just want to be sure that I don't have the managers turn a blind eye to this and think 'well I'm not going to admit that this nurse pulled the wool over my eyes.'
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No. 3
Old Sep 17, 2009, 05:33 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
That was probably illegal what she did. Report it somehow..and it definately wasn't very nice for those of us that DO have ADD and work really reall really hard to do a good job *fumes*
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No. 4
from llg
Old Sep 17, 2009, 08:46 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
In most institutions, if you lie on your application, it is an automatic termination. Even if she didn't lie on the application itself, she will probably be terminated or they will find a way to get her to leave that is less likely to raise any questions. For example, they could talk to her about her problems, point out that things are not going very well and ask her for documentation of her ADD so that they can develop a detailed learning plan for her. Having to provide documentation might encourage her to resign before she gets caught.

Similarly, they could ask for documentation of her medication as her sleeping in class indicates that her current medications might interfere with her abililty to do a job. Right now, they are cutting her slack because they believe she is handicapped. However, if they doubt her handicap is real, they may tactfully ask her to document it -- giving her no reason to suspect that anyone reported her -- and again encouraging her to resign before she gets caught in her lie. They may give her such an opportunity to resign rather than face an ugly scene having to accuse her. But they might not do that if they have no reason to suspect that she has been lying.
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No. 5
Old Sep 18, 2009, 06:53 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
WOW. All of these responses are excellent. I am so glad I asked that question here. I appreciate your time in this matter, I wanted to run it by good nurses before I go and report her. I do not want to seem petty. She is messing up her asignments all by herself and the managers are really watching her closely. She did apply for the same position I did but it was one of many that I am applying for now and I withdrew my name from that job posting only because I want nights and not swing shift. I thank all of you for your help it is not falling on deaf ears!!!
I do feel as though people with ADD get a bad rap and it's because of people like her. It feels as though she is using a wheelchair for a good parking space while she has two perfectly good legs...pretending to be handicap with any condition is disgusting to me.
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No. 6
Old Sep 18, 2009, 09:26 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
I would just leave it alone. It really doesn't concern you. If you just let her be, she will soon enough drown herself, if you get involved it will somehow come back to hurt you. You are not her boss, and it will be her word against yours. Just worry about you, you do not need to babysit another grown up. Just my
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No. 7
from BabyLady
Old Sep 18, 2009, 09:47 PM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
I'll tell you what you do.

If she told you, regardless of what she says, she probably told someone else.

Hospitals are the worst sort of hen house that there is on the planet when it comes to gossip.

Don't say anything...things like this have a habit of getting back to management.
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No. 8
Old Sep 19, 2009, 01:57 AM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
I am concerned that this person will be caring for patients that deserve the best care, and I don't like the idea of waiting for her to mess up (which I believe she will) while caring for clients. I don't want to be the patient that she is caring for when she makes that big mistake, or the ones that she is making the smaller but still serious mistakes on during the time leading up to the big mistake. You may not be in charge of her, but safety is everyone's responsibility.

Has it been obvious in class that you have been trying to cut her slack, and that you had put forth the effort to befriend / help her? That may help with your concern about what administration may think, but I think and hope that they will appreciate your integrity and professionalism. Good luck to you, and I am sorry about your situation.
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No. 9
from NC Girl RN
Old Sep 19, 2009, 01:57 AM

Default Re: Am I a backstabber or just a concerned co-worker?
Originally Posted by I_LOVE_TRAUMA View Post
I would just leave it alone. It really doesn't concern you. If you just let her be, she will soon enough drown herself, if you get involved it will somehow come back to hurt you. You are not her boss, and it will be her word against yours. Just worry about you, you do not need to babysit another grown up. Just my

I agree. Stay out of it. She will destroy her own self in the end. It is not your battle. Concentrate on your duties and responsibilities.
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