What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 79

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   julesradio
    Just a pre-nursing student, first semester, but I have taken my daughter to ER before only to feel pretty stupid later...

    My little one was unable to poo for 2 and a half days and she kept saying her tummy hurt and that she "couldn't get her butt to service" LOL. So we gave her a child's enema and NOTHING HAPPENED.

    So we took her to the ER and they did an xray - said she had some kind of obstruction and amb us to another hospital with a Peds dept.

    Once there, IV in place, waiting for CT scan to determine what the obstruction was...she was miserable. After being in the two hospitals for about 8 hours collectively, I went out for some fresh air. When I came back, they were already in CT. My husband comes around the corner with my DD in his arms and she is smiling and sparkly eyed and perfect.

    Turns out 5 minutes before they came to get her for CT, she finally went potty and went and went and went, according to my husband. OBSTRUCTION gone...

    Apparently after some investigation, we discovered my 4 year old daughter had helped herself to 6 packages of string cheese when no one was looking.

    Felt pretty silly when the doc came in and said "Wow she looks better" to which my daughter replied " I just took a BIG POOP!!!"

    Out of the mouths (and other ends) of babes!

    We never would have taken her but her belly was distended and the enema did nothing...:uhoh21:
  2. by   texas_lvn
    Had a pt come in the other day for flea bites. Turned out he actually had some fleas IN his anus. I didnt bother to ask questions.
  3. by   Victoriakem
    Quote from boztc
    I had a 15 y/o female come (with a friend) to the ER to "get rid of" a pimple because she had a date that night. When we insisted on a parental permission before treatment, she became belligerent because she had "insurance" (public aid) that "pays (my) salary" and had "the right to see a doctor right away."

    P.S. The mother authorized treatment.

    There was also the guy with the vibrator (on) stuck in his rectum, the out-of-town salesman unable to remove a "cock ring" and the woman who inserted a tampon into her uninary meatus.
    Sounds like that girl learned what to say from her mother. We are the ones who pay for their treatment. They pay nothing towards our salary.
  4. by   shearernurse
    Not to long ago, I had a 50-something lady come into the ER @ 0400 for constipation. Her loving husband brought her in. She also c/o hemorrhoids. So I gave her a fleet enema to go home with, I also gave her some proctosone ointment with the applicator(not attached) can anyone see where this is leading? She comes back 15 minutes later and states she needs to talk to the nurse. Well, to this day I don't know what she was thinking, but in goes the proctosone applicator minus the ointment and now she has the applicator up her bum. Now I have to go fishing, I finally got it out, and showed her how the applicator was suppposed to be attached to the tube. I then gave her a fleet which she held all of 3 seconds. In exasperation, I gave her a suppository and told her it was ok for her to put THAT there but nothing else.

    OH MY !!!!!!!

    shearernurse
  5. by   time4meRN
    std from taking Zoloft. 40 odd people waiting. Usual busy night. Pt says I got an STD from Zoloft. So after a big sigh, I had to ask, "why do you think you have an STD from this med" . She said, "I was watching tv and they said it could cause sexual side effects". So I green drainage from my P*&&y , I got it from Zoloft.
  6. by   DebanamRN
    Just last week:

    Elderly gentleman transported by ambulance from NH. Transfer dx: pt feels cold to the touch.

    It's the end of August, a/c going full blast everywhere, gentleman wearing long pants & sweatshirt. After a trip through 90+ degree wheather, pt feels plenty warm to me. Pt has no c/o of anything bothering him.

    Discharge instructions include: Keep pt warm by covering with blankets.

    After several years in the ER as a registrar and now as an LPN, all I can say is, we just can't make this stuff up.
  7. by   TennNurse
    Middle-aged female who could not sleep due to her goosebumps.

    Mom brought 6-year-old child in at roughly 0300 because said child habitually bit her fingernails and her cuticles were now red. Mom also says with great urgency, "And she's lethargic!!" What would any sane person expect a little kid to be at 3 in the morning except lethargic!?
  8. by   CraigBSN02
    Chief complaint: "People say I don't look good"

    What can I say, he was right.... previous psychiatric history.
  9. by   prmenrs
    Ya'll have me so paranoid!!

    I needed to go to the ER last Monday; my problem was not life-threatening, but I wasn't sure I could wait another day, and Urgent Care was geographically ridiculous (thank you, Health Net). So off I went, w/a book and a magazine and a bottle of water, checked in, and settled in to wait. Mid-afternoon on a holiday weekend, could be a while.

    I waited ~ 1 hour, saw triage, who put me in a room, took VS, etc., and I went back to my book. 20 minutes later, "my" nurse came in, did some more hx and assessment. She and doc were back shortly thereafter. They took care of my problem w/a minimum of fuss, gave me Rx's, d/c instructions-written-and I was out of there after a short stop w/the business folks.

    Total time? ~2 1/2 hrs. Not that bad. I apologetically asked the doc if this trip was really necessary? YES! from both him and RN. I feel much better--on many levels!
  10. by   luvmy3kids
    If it weren't for HIPAA, I'd say you all should compile your stories and have them published in one great big ER storybook! You'd be millionaires!!!

    I just read this entire post from beginning to end! It is awesome!
  11. by   bigjim
    Quote from Geordi486
    I know 11yrs ago in rural Ohio when I was on medicaid the only place that I could be seen for minor acute things such as strep throat was the ER otherwise I had to wait a month for an appt as they where no longer taking "new" pts and no walk-in clinic. In otherwords once they heard medicaid they didn't want the hassle. So where else are you to go? I would try like hell to wait out anything I had because it was embarrassing to go for something I should be at a clinic for.

    Where are you supposed to go? How about McDonalds? They are hiring and they provide insurance.
  12. by   hogan4736
    Originally Posted by Geordi486
    "I know 11yrs ago in rural Ohio when I was on medicaid the only place that I could be seen for minor acute things such as strep throat was the ER otherwise I had to wait a month for an appt as they where no longer taking "new" pts and no walk-in clinic. In otherwords once they heard medicaid they didn't want the hassle. So where else are you to go? I would try like hell to wait out anything I had because it was embarrassing to go for something I should be at a clinic for."


    When one gets on medicaid, schedule a new pt visit/physical (when you aren't sick), then you won't have to wait when you are...

    The situation Geordi describes also happens to pts w/ commercial insurance, and the same rule applies...The DAY insurance kicks in, schedule a visit...

    Problem solved
  13. by   Vikingkitten
    OK All, here are some of my favorites:
    No one, in the history of ED or LE, has ever come across someone who has an astronomical BAL and had more than two Beers.
    Some Dude, That Dude and That Bit*h cause most of the visits to the ED.
    Two Black dudes, Two White dudes or Two Mexican dudes cause all of the GSWs and stabbings in the U.S.(we could solve crime in America if we can find these 6 Dudes)
    Most Trauma/ED visits in Texas are prefaced with , "here, hold my Beer"!
    For the rest of the country, Trauma/ ED visits are prefaced with, "hey, watch this, I saw it on TV!"
    No one ever is doing anything before a Trauma/ED visit but "standing on the corner, minding my own business (SOCMOB)", or reading the Bible to my Grandmother on the porch.
    Thanks again for letting me rant.

    "And now, for something completely different!"

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