What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 53

and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More

  1. by   Kelly_the_Great
    okay, i'm gonna tell y'all a story that indirectly happended to me...:imbar

    when i was in lvn school (about 12 years ago) i worked as an er clerk, so everybody there knew me, right?

    anyway, one night while i'm relieving the switchboard my b/f (later husband) comes into the er w/ "pain in his groin." it's dx. as kidney stone.

    but what does he ask the doctor???? "do you think i may have pulled a muscle from having too much sex?" omg!!!!!

    i got picked on so much for that! everybody knew about it too, of course. and you know, even though he did have a kidney stone and all, i still kind of think that was his intention in his question...to let everyone know what was what.

    :imbar
  2. by   gauge14iv
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    Tell em all yeah it was probably from that - thank god you gave up the bottle of olive oil, the car battery and the duct tape before he really got hurt!
  3. by   rgroyer1RNBSN
    hey I sunburn and mine are very bad so bad they blister and turn into 2nd degree burns and it doesnt matter how much sun block I put on I still burn baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! I have had to go to er but by private vehicle and usually get a tetnus, IV antibiotics, benadryl and decadron for the itching shots mind you. and generally have to be wrapped in silvadene and have pain meds.
  4. by   texascowgirl
    three patients come immediately to mind......

    1) chapped lips x 3 days

    2) self-circumcision

    3) cant find "hood ring" (referring to female genitalia ornament)

    oh and also........

    sunburn from tanning bed (called 911 and came via EMS)
  5. by   JWaldron
    Quote from ChayaN
    Hmmm, I'm surprised no one has mentioned these yet:

    Stubbed toe
    burning eyes from chopping onions
    paper cut
    hoarse voice from too much yelling
    canker sore (mouth ulcer)
    cellulite
    cut while shaving
    thumb sucking
    toilet training
    splinter
    Blackheads
    A pierced earlobe ripped through when caught by a hairbrush (15 years earlier!)
    Tattoo removal (on Christmas Day, of course)
    "I think I have dandruff, I need an antibiotic."
    The guy w/ a fireplace poker up his rear. Said he was laying carpet and backed into it. (yeah, right!)
    The guy who brought BOTH of his girlfriends in in labor, at the same time (live dangerously, die young!). That was the first they knew of each other.
    The guy who needed his acne cleared up 'today' because he was going to be a rock star 'tomorrow'. (This one was really sad; he was delusional, but you can't admit somebody for thinking they are going to be a rock star - by the end of that week, he had shot 2 people, one of whom he had taken hostage and then killed himself)

    Savvy
  6. by   mergency
    A woman stated she sat on a prescription bottle and it happened to become lodged in her rectum!
  7. by   JeanettePNP
    She could always say that she accidentally swallowed it and it got stuck on the way out.
  8. by   obliviousRN
    We had one at 5:30 in the morning who came in because their "cock ring" got lost in the vagina. She wanted the doc to get it out.
  9. by   Kelly_the_Great
    Quote from gauge14iv
    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

    Tell em all yeah it was probably from that - thank god you gave up the bottle of olive oil, the car battery and the duct tape before he really got hurt!
    I know, right?!! Funny how your perspective changes...lol, @ 21-22 y/o I was so embarrassed. Now, @ 35, I'd be so proud...
  10. by   runneRN
    We have patients who call EMS to bring them to the ER for a bogus complaint..then get inside the ER proper...refuse to be seen.... and then walk to the supermarket next door...they just needed a ride
  11. by   JWaldron
    And then want a ride back home. "Aw, come on, man! Waddya mean I can't get no ride home? You brought me here! I don't got no cab money. I know my rights!"

    Savvy
  12. by   JWaldron
    Oh, and then there was the patient wanted to know it he had 'roaches of the liver' (cirrhosis) because if he did, it was too late to stop drinking, and if he didn't, why stop?

    Savvy
  13. by   teeituptom
    Last night I triaged 5 people in a row all c/o SOB, numbness tingling, carpal spasms,O2 sats all at 100 no surprise, also with a positive RMS< Runny Mascara Sign>. Their families were all hysterical about them having possible MIs and CVAs. They were aged 15 to 19. Bad enough they were all hyperventilating, but why in hades would their parents even begin to think they were having MIs and CVAs. Iwas sympathetic with the first 2 then it just kind of wore me down and then I wanted to, but didnt, slap them all sillier than what they were beahving. The patient and their Families.

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