What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for? - page 48
and do you have to treat them? I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement. Thanks for sharing :)... Read More
Dec 5, '05The best one I've had recently was a guy (approx 35 yrs) who when asked what the problem was informed me that "he had been looking in the mirror and noticed the black part of his eye getting large then small, more so when he moved his face backwards and forwards and now he had a headache".
At which point I had to excuse myself, so I could walk away and not laugh in his face!!
Dec 7, '05When I was in clinicals we had a lady come in (and by the sighs and groans when she was spotted I know she was a ff) and her complaint was that she had holes in the corners of her eyes, right on the bottom lids! *gasp*
Apparently, tear ducts are not as well-known as you may think.
Jan 6, '06Hello to all of my sisters and brothers on the frontlines of health care ...the ED! As much as I hate to admit it...stupid people are fascinating sometimes! I'm just glad to know that they don't all live in my town...coulda sworn in a deposition that they did!
My most recent winner is the gentleman, released THAT WEEK from prison to a work-release house. At triage he complained of a toothache, demanded immediate narcotic administration...sneered at the Tylenol our protocal allowed. When his name was called for treatment he was nowhere to be found. Four hours later he returns to triage with glazed eyes and twitchy to say that his tooth didn't hurt any more and "Oh yeah, sign this paper that says that I've been here at the emergency room for treatment." When confronted with the fact he had been M.I.A. for numerous hours he said he had walked to the convenience store...within sight of the hospital...for TYLENOL. Needless to say, his house warden pulled a drug test on him and he got a one way ticket back to jail.
Jan 6, '06Let's see, "Jaw clicking" comes to mind, as does "I felt bad today, but feel fine now, just curious what it was."
Yes, we do have to treat these people by law. We cannot refuse treatment to anyone that "think's they are having an emergency, no matter now minor". We can however triage them to be seen sometime in the next millenium. The people who come to be seen for such things are generally on medicaid (Medi-cal where I come from) and so they aren't paying for it, we are.
Jan 6, '06hmm... gosh there are soooo many, one that sticks out in my mind... an 8 ball in the a**hole.... the guy actually brought another ball just like the one he had inserted inside so we'd know what it looked like! Xray showed it had travelled way up north and a surgeon was called in for consult. Right at shift change, the patient asked for a bedpan and uh.... delivered the goods... saved him a helluva surgery bill. we've had the hangnail, the acrylic nails, the almost amputated scratches. I had a girl come in the other night for a "knot" on her breastbone that'd had been there a year. Was sent home on Motrin.
For those patients who think that if they call 911 for an ambulance they'll get back quicker??? Our new question on encode is "is this patient triageable? The looks on their faces when EMS pulls up to the Triage door?? Priceless!!! I actually did have a guy come in one night having a dystonic reaction from taking his cousin's Klonopin. His vitals were fine, breathing was fine, just didn't like the way he was feeling. Told him I didn't have any beds available at the time, he was okay, blah blah blah. He walked out with his family, called 911, had them pick him up across the street from the hospital, they encoded, I took the call, he ended up back in triage. Told him he lost his place. Being a nurse, I couldn't tell him to just take some benadryl ( I can't prescribe). He lied from the get go to me, told me he hadn't taken anything, when he got back to bed, told ER doc he hadn't taken anything, ER doc asked him why he was lying, that he had told triage nurse he'd taken klonopin, he finally said OK OK he got benadryl, sent home and was told there's a good reason for NOT taking medicines that aren't prescribed to you. Whoever said it was right, stupid people = job security.
Jan 6, '06Quote from BabyRN2BeAnd the medication for "Spiral Mighty Jesus" is "p-nut butter balls".Now this one really got me laughing. I'm a born-again Christian, but the images that brings to mind of a "Spiral Mighty Jesus" - kinda makes me think of an Almighty Jack-In-The-Box.
Better known as phenobarbital.
Jan 6, '06i'm not joking. the most ridiculous thing i ever saw was a person that came in for sunburned lips!!!! and they really were not that bad. i'm amazed at what people present with in the ed.
Jan 7, '06another good one, happened just this morning. A girl came into the ER for a pimple that just wouldn't surrender to her constant squeezing and tugging. One side of her face was swollen, a script for bactrim and a smile as she was discharged. Putting toothpaste on it would've been lots cheaper.
Jan 9, '06Had a guy come in the ER with cut up arms. Bleeding quite a bit. Took him directly to a room and triaged him there with a doc and another nurse looking on.
PT:"Cut them on a friends window."
ME:"Oh, were you helping him put them in?"
PT:" No, I just wanted to talk to 'em and they locked the door on me."
Needless to say I called the police. They were looking for him but thought he would be at the University ER. This guy out smarted them and went to a suburban level 2 trauma center. Unfortunalty for him, we have cops aswell. After suturing him up, he was in a happy mood, thinking he outsmarted everyone. i discahged him and had the police standing by. Police. A small, 5'2" police lady of about 100 pounds for a fellow 5'10" 190 pounds. Of course he ran and scared daylights out of everyone in the ER until myself and afreind of mine (LPN) brought him down (safely of course). The police woman hadn cuffed him and told us to bring him. We aren't cops but we started to take him to here car to get him out of our ER. He started talking smack about the police woman (nasty-personal stuff)and the police woman gave him a shot or two on the nose. He gets violent and the other police show up and take him out. He was wanted for threating his friend who had seen him rob a store and told the police. A real winner.
Never know what is going to walk through that door. THAT'S WHY I LOVE THIS JOB!!!
Jan 9, '06[QUOTE=mary1158]I have some silly things people called the Poison Hotline for:
3) A very macho sounding guy called wondering how to get superglue off his hands. It turns out, he had a tiny Christmas angel super-glued to his finger. The mental image cracked me up! :chuckle
EMS brought in a 42yo man reaking of ETOH and perfume with both hands superglued to his pubic hairs. Anonymous source stated pt had recent hx of cheating on wife with complaints of domestic disturbances from neighbors.
"And what brings you in this fine morning, Sir ?"
Jan 9, '06A 15-year-old Mexican girl who showed up in the middle of the night asking for a pregnancy test. When I asked her what made her think she might be pregnant she answered that she and her BF "did it three times." The interpreter and I looked at each other and literally had to bite our tongues to keep from laughing.
Another was a phone call from a young woman asking what "ways of having sex" would make a boy or a girl.
Common: phone calls asking "Are you guys real busy? I've got a cold and I don't want to wait."