What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

Oh, and no offence, but maybe Hot Tamales aren't the greatest choice of foodstuffs with your recent medical history. But, that's really none of my business.

Years ago when I was working in another city, I got a patient from the ER with the admitting diagnosis of "decubitus ulcer." Now I thought that was mighty strange until I actually saw the patient. He had a decub all right -- the exact size, shape and depth of a toilet seat.

When asked how he got a pressure sore like that, he said he'd been sitting on the toilet for four days and four nights.

"Why were you sitting there for so long?"

"Looking for God."

He had multiple surgerys and months of antibiotics -- he was still there a year later when I changed jobs!

But did he find God?

Young man- broken nose- hysterical wife- "I told you that you were going to kill yourself with those Num Chuks" (Had to be air-lifted to nearest trauma unit)
We first thought the wife was hysterical... she was just laughing so hard she was crying.
She stopped crying/laughing when the helicopter took off.
He kept yelling at her: "thnut up, thnitch"