What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

I once went for an ear ache.. they ended up cleaning out my ear full of ear wax, which I could have done myself by buying the kit at walgreens, lol.

I was young, and crying in pain, and thought I was going to go deaf. lol

and that visit to the hospital made me want to be a nurse, and here I am as a nurse

I was in triage the other day when a FF came in and had "body pain". She was in the ED three days ago, then came back the next day, and then the next night and was back again in the morning. Each time she got unbelievable amounts of dilauded (I think like 32mg per visit or something ridiculous). So the ED doc made me go tell her she could be seen but wasn't getting narcotics. Personally, I wish they had just admitted her the last time she was there.

I had a patient the other day come in because his co-worker smelled. It took me like 5 minutes just to figure out what to put under the "complaint" line to make it sound like something, anything. You can't make this stuff up.

While working triage one evening, I had a mother, and grandmother bring a 4 y/o little girl to the desk and announce "her water just broke". They swore that the little girl was pregnant and delivery was imminent.
I tried to explain that it wasn't possible, but they wouldn't take no for an answer. So I directed to a patient room and notified the doctor...and then called DCFS.

I also received a patient via ambulance because "fuddawadame fitta de hea" and he told me this three times while I was trying to clarify the complaint. So thats what I wrote as the cheif complaint: fuddawadame fitta de hea. The doctor looked at me puzzled, and after seeing the patient, agreed. Yep, thats what he said "fuddawadame fitta de hea"

I can't remember the number of times I responded to ambulance runs when I was a paramedic. I went to a home one night for a girl who had swallowed her tongue. I arrived to find five teens holding the girls tongue out of her mouth to keep her from swallowing it. All of them in a dead panic. I grabbed on also, assured them I wouldn't let go when they did. Well, they let go, and about five seconds later, so did I...she lived...

shoes too tight...and no, there was no foot edema. she was clearly homeless so we registered her but never called her back, we gave her a bag lunch and let her sleep in the waiting room until 6am.

I just discharged a female abdominal pain. her SigOther was also ina ttendance. He told me as I was giving her the Dilaudid/Phenergan/Toradol injections that he had just run out of his pain pills a couple of hours before, and he was probably going to come in himself in another couple of hours. I was shocked, and I asked him why? Guess what he said?

You got it: "I can't afford the insurance to visit a doctor." Dumbfounded, I asked him "and you can afford to come to the ER?" Well, dumb me, of course he can afford it, because I am paying for this visit!!!! What is a girl to do?

MY earwax story didn't turn out so well. I had a young adult male come in with his SigOther, saying no ear pain, just couldn't hear very well. I suspected perforated eardrum, so I didn't poke around there looking, I waited for the MD to show up. Which he did about an hour later, diagnosed ear wax, and prescribed the waterpic therapy. So, I duly got him set up for the waterpic torture with the chux to catch the overflow, and the emesis basin to catch what wasn't supposed to hit the chux. Filled the container with peroxide saline mix, turned it on, and -- NOTHING! The stupid machine was broken. Okay, no problem. I pull out a syringe, attach a flexible tubing and shoot the solution into his hear several times, with no results. I sent him on his way, telling him to see his doctor. Well, he says, that is why he's here! He had used the Debrox solution for four days, and he followed the directions on the box which says to see your doctor if no results after four days of treatment! So this naturally meant an ER visit at 2300, right? Oh, he was SO ****** off that he couldn't get the proper treatment.

I went to the local coffee shop that weekend, when what to my wondering eyes should appear but this very same young man! The barista went on about how he hadn't gotten proper care at my hospital, how he was mistreated and how the equipment was faulty, and he should have been better treated. All I could do, thanx to HIPPA, was to smile wanly and drink my coffee. And, because she knows I work there, I did tell her that it really upsets me when my customer can't get satisfaction. {Isn't there a song about that?}

Had a 30's something y/o man come running into triage holding his arm, yelling "I can't feel my arm, it just went numb". After assessing, no other neuro deficits, took him in exam room to see MD, when the doc came in, he stated same thing, but also said it was hurting 10/10 and requesting pain medication??

Along same lines, had a 23 y/o female check in stating that she is 7 1/2 months pregnant and "thinks is in labor". When connected to fetal monitor, unable to get pulse, quickly order ultrasound, and UPT only to find out pt never was pregnant. Pt states "huh, well can I get something for the pain"?? Like she was actually surprised.

This young lady around twenty was put in my room for "dizziness." Lone and behold she had taken two vicodin and had driven to Wal-Mart. I asked her if she had ever had Vicodin before and she promptly replied "no." I wonder if she was aware she should NOT have been driving....

I was in triage one night when another young lady came into the triage room with a bloody towel around her foot. When I told her I had to unwrap it to take a gander she became mildly panicky, but complied. I ended up having to give her a pager and told her she would need stitches but she had to wait since we just had some trauma come in....to this she replied "STITICHES?!?!?! Can't you just put some TAPE on it????" She was completely serious. Now if she only wanted TAPE on it why in the heck did she come see us????

There is a special kind of stupid out there.

A couple of teens attempted to rob an off duty police officer. Shoots and critically wounds him, though he managed to return fire and wound one of his assailants.

So, knowing full well what the closest hospital to the shooting was.....what ER do you think the mildly wounded shooter went to? The same one that treated the officer, of course.

(And given this area, with at least a dozen facilities within several miles...easy walking/car/metro distance, yeah, just walk in to the same one with a gunshot wound)